Am I a Burden?

[Trevor6]

I have had COPD since 1999 and of course it has progressed over time I use to be very active , swimming, holidays etc but now nothing past 2 years have been down hill sadly I have been with a wonderful partner 20 years married 10 he is great retired nurse and is my carer of late all I can do is sit in my chair, slowly get to bathroom and go to bed life sucks excuse me I am on antidepressants which help but I feel bad he does everything for me anyone else experienced this I am as I said in other post am being considered for LVR anyone offered this and what is the time line to surgery thanks

[tavymaid]

Hi Trevor, your not a burden and never will be a burden. None of us asked to be poorly ,life has thrown us a duff deal and we have to try and plod on as best as possible but don,t feel like that. Over the last 5 years been very poorly with my lungs and have Emphysema and Asthma and we have to smile,pick ourselves up , carry on and do the best we can for ourselves and take all the help offered when needed. Throw the word "burden" straight in the bin where it belongs.

[Trevor6 in reply to tavymaid]

Thanks for advice

[skischool]

The fact that your partner has stayed with you and cares for you is an obvious sign that you are not a burden so i think you can bin that thought straight away.The LVRS process normally takes approx 3-6 months to complete investigations and tests and to ensure that you are both a suitable candidate and that you are fit enough to undergo the procedure,it could take considerably longer in the present climate but only your consultant can give you the most uptodate estimate.

Best wishes

Ski's and Scruff's

[Trevor6]

Kind regards many thanks take care

[Damon1864 Volunteer]

Hi Trevor I have been offered LVR but as Ski has already said I could be waiting a while. I someo good eel like a burden on my husband but he is very good and never complains. Have a lovely day and take care 😊 Bernadette and Jack 🐕 xxxxxx

[Alberta56]

So sorry you're feeling low. I'm glad you've got a lovely partner. Tavymaid is right in everything she says. I'm a carer, sort of, for my husband ( and daughter occasionally) when I'm not feeling ill myself- the caring started before the bronchiectasis. It's just the way the dice rolled. You are obviously valued. I wouldn't be without my family. maddening though they can be on occasions. xxx

[Trevor6]

Many thanks

[Oshgosh]

I know how you feel x

[GDanker]

Well, that's what true love is all about, isn't it? Wouldn't you do the same for him if the roles were reversed? Try to keep your spirits up as best as you are able and do what you can to take care of yourself healthwise. Try to make the best-informed health choices that are available to you. Sorry, but I don't know what LVR stands for but I'm sure there are many on this website who do. That, I think, would help both of you the most.

[corriena in reply to GDanker]

Lung volume reduction 😀

[corriena]

I doubt your partner see you as a burden or they wouldent be ther helping you. Beleve me, we somtimes read the exact oppersit wear familys dont help. The best thing you cand do is not give up trying. Lots of us are on antidepresents as copd ect is such a horable ilness that slowly takes away are ability to do anything / everything. But we can try to fight back light exercises even in your chair can help. Try keeping your mind bussy with puzzels books ect. I know people who have had very sucsesfull LVR so good luck with it. As for time scale every area is different so prehaps ask your consultant.

[Hidden]

Oh Trevor, your husband, and dear Oshgosh ’s too, would be horrified if they knew you felt this way. I know it’s a symptom of your depression, but remember, when they vowed “to have and to hold from this day forward… in sickness and in health… til death us do part” etc, they meant it, just like you did. It’s you and your husband in this together, whatever the future holds. A burden, indeed! We all feel this way at dark times, but when you think about it, it’s a bit of an insult to our spouses

[Oshgosh]

I e got interstitial lung disease p,us auto immune conditions.I’m becoming increasingly breathless,it’s a pain.

It’s changed my life.

My husband of 43 years is very supportive,but struggles with my illness.

You need to consider that your partner loves you.

It’s hard for you,harder for him to see you suffering.

He will want to help you as much as he can.

I would consider L R if I was offered it.

If you can manage to get in a car,the change of scene might help you feel a little more positive.sending you love xx