Possible ppp

[Leahlove]

Hi there,

I wondered if I could possibly ask for opinions or advice please.

So, going back to the first time I got pregnant 15 years ago. I ended up having an abortion due to my age and I think hormones. I was extremely unstable, suicidal thoughts but the worst part was the horrendous intrusive thoughts. First time I ever experienced this and did not link the 2 together.

fast forward to now, when 3 months ago I experienced a ectopic pregnancy. Same kind of feelings, and the awful intrusive thoughts again. And a feeling in my head that something didn’t feel right.

After doing quite a bit of research and reading others stories, I’m aware that I haven’t experienced psychosis but maybe a mild form.

I do believe my mum suffered similar

any advice would be so greatly appreciated as I’ve been going out my mind worrying that something is wrong with me

thank you

Leah x

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Leahlove,

Welcome to APP forum. I am so sorry that you have been through so much and that now you are so worried that there may be something wrong, maybe PP. It is so good that you are reaching out for help. You will find kind, brave Mums here, kindly willing to share. I did not have postpartum psychosis myself, my daughter did, she is well now. I wonder if you have been able to speak with your GP to ask for help with how you are feeling, also I wonder if you had any aftercare following your ectopic pregnancy, might you be able to refer back to them for advice. I do hope that you have kind, supportive family, friends and maybe a partner, perhaps they may be willing to go with you to the doctor if that might help. Please keep talking to someone.

I am sorry not to be able to offer more than sincere sympathy, hoping you find answers, help and peace of mind soon.

Thinking of you and wishing you well.

Judith xx

[Leahlove in reply to NanaJudith_APP_Vol]

Hi Judith

Thank you for replying to me, yes I did contact my gp who if I’m honest not that helpful. I didn’t explain much as I didn’t feel confident. However I was already on citalapram (anti depressant) I thought maybe it wasn’t working as I’ve been on that for over 10 years, I switched to sertraline. Wow the most awful few weeks. Suicidal thoughts and extremely low. However, feeling a bit better now. I think I was getting used to the medication. I’m hoping that will help.

Thank you again

Leah

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello Leahlove,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting here.

I'm so sorry you've been through so much both physically and emotionally, and are experiencing such horrible thoughts and feelings.

Please know you're not alone. Recognising things don't feel right and reaching out is such a brave and important thing to do.

Have you shared how you've been feeling with those around you and have you had much support since your ectopic pregnancy?

I'm sure you'll find support and shared experiences here from this community. I also wanted to share some information and resources around intrusive thoughts that may be helpful.

- Mind - blog post on dealing with intrusive thoughts: mind.org.uk/information-sup...

- OCD UK - article re intrusive thoughts: ocduk.org/features-tag/intr...

- YouTube - ‘Understanding intrusive thoughts’ - CBT therapist Katie d'Ath explains the issues behind trying not to have certain thoughts: youtube.com/watch?v=_Wss6W1...(Not working as expected?)

- Healthline: 30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts: healthline.com/health/groun...

- Every Mind Matters ‘Reframe Unhelpful Thoughts’: youtube.com/watch?v=tfkhkFw...(Not working as expected?)

Sending much love, be really kind to yourself and know things will get better 💜

With best wishes,

Jenny x

[Leahlove in reply to Jenny_at_APP]

Hi jenny,

Thank you so much for your reply, I found those links extremely helpful. I also contacted my gp this morning. I do think she was trying to help but did dismiss my thoughts on ppp. However did suggest it might be hormonal. She’s also set up a CBT therapy for me which was very useful. So I’ll see that as a win,

Thank you again, this service is so valuable to me and all of these lovely ladies.

Xx

[Cheryl-2021 Volunteer]

Hi Leahlove

I'm sorry to read you are experiencing intrusive thoughts, but it's good to see that you found Jenny's links useful.

The last time I experienced intrusive thoughts, they became that frequent, I convinced myself they were true. I found talking to a trusted friend, who also experienced them, quite useful as she rationalised them for me, and helped me challenge them. I hope the CBT continues to be useful for you. Keep checking in if you need to.

Cheryl

[Leahlove in reply to Cheryl-2021]

Hi Cheryl

Thank you for your message. I also start to think sometimes is it real, do I really think these things: and I can really find myself ruminating on the thoughts, I guess why they keep coming because I obsess on them.

Gosh it’s difficult sometimes isn’t it

Xx

[Cheryl-2021 Volunteer in reply to Leahlove]

Our minds can be a very unkind place, and yes you're right it is very difficult. I'm sure in time you will find some peace in controlling these thoughts and reclaim them again. Just try and remember just because you're thinking it doesn't make it real

[Leahlove]

thank you Cheryl, I needed that today. I have good days and then a bad day and it just feels like is it going to end. Im thinking it might be the medication not working just yet aswel.

Take care

Leah