Just wanted to say hello. I’m 6 months into my recovery and really struggling with intrusive thoughts around some of the traumatic things I thought were happening to me and my children when I was severely unwell.
I’m still on olanzapine and struggling with low energy. I don’t know whether to ask to reduce my olanzapine or start on sertraline.
My gp has me on iron tablets as my ferritin is low. I’m talking to him again today about medication and have a medication review coming up with the psychiatrist
I’m still in shock about what happened and being so poorly.
I never expected anything like this would happen. The newborn stage with my first was lovely.
My birth this time was vey quick and traumatic and his heart rate dropped which terrified me and I felt that terror all the way through those weeks
i Don’t know how to get back to feeling happy and settled with myself again.
Any help and advice gratefully received.
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Lh501
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I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with intrusive thoughts and had a traumatic experience. PP is horrible ! I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.
The side of Olanzapine, are very strong ! I remember I was in it for a year but gradually decreased it until the lowest amount of dosage , then eventually off .
Depending on how you feel, you could ask your psychiatrist or gp to see if they could reduce use since it’s been 6 months.
It is a big shock when you think about the effect PP can do to your mind & body. I can reassure you will feel better soon , most women on this forum can totally relate to how you are feeling , including myself .
Have you tried perhaps some self care now and again when you are able to have time for yourself ; I found practising self care for myself every other day or night really helped in my recovery ❤️🩹 things like journaling, putting on a face mask or even listening to music , while the kids where in bed.
You are not alone at all, there’s so many women on here , who are on the road to recovery on this forum and some who have fully recovered ! Feel free to write or message on here xxx
Hi Lh501, and welcome from me too! I had pp after the birth of my twin girls in 2016. I had a lot of flashbacks in the first couple of years. It's a lot to process.
When my girls were about 2 years old I told a research student about what I'd experienced and she said it was likely a trauma reaction. So after time it knocked off for me. But iI think some ladies on here may have been referred for talking therapies to help. Maybe you could ask the psychiatrist to refer you to a counsellor/psychologist for ongoing support with this?
Also, I talked to other people who'd had pp about some of the horrible things I remembered. doing/thinking. No one here will judge you. I believed my husband, mum and med professionals were in a conspiracy against me when I was unwell. I made lots of accusations and was very volatile. It's taken me a while to realise that was the illness and not me. It's harder said than done but how you behave when you're psychotic isn't 'you' and we all understand that here.
And I echoe Ramlah in giving yourself some well deserved tlc too. You're early doors but we'll help you get through this xx
Welcome to the forum. I had Ppp in 2018 and also had brith trauma and a lot of stress around the health of my babies (I had twins). Ppp is hugely traumatic; I feel I can relate when you say you feel shocked about what happened. You have been through so much , all of us that have had ppp have, and i think we need to be super gental with ourselves. Our sense of self takes a real knocking with this illness. I was on Olanzapine and sertraline at same time and once I was home ( after approx 10 week hospital stay) I asked to reduce olanzapibe as I was really really struggling with being drowsy and having very low energy which I felt was really hindering my ability to do what I wanted with my babies. So we started to wean olanzapine until just over a year, I stayed on a high dose of sertaline over this time and felt so much brighter every time my olanzapine dose was reduced. I was , I should add very closely monitored by a community nurse that came to house weekly and I also had family move in to support me. So discussing your dose with gp and psychiatrist sounds a great idea. They might want to get you established on sertraline first before reducing olazapine but see what they say and it’s nice to know you will absolutely get brighter things will get easier through time. As others have suggested is there be anything that you think might help?. A bit of walking ? Swimming or whatever suits you. Being in nature for me is always good if that’s an option. I quite like a bit of tapping and yoga shaking basically turn on some upbeat music and have a shake! I will try find a link Incase it’s of interest. Keep in touch and hope the appointments go well. Lots of love. Exx
hi Lh501 I just wanted to add my welcome to the forum here, glad you have found APP! Our experiences sound quite similar - mine also followed a very traumatic birth and I was left with severe blood loss (so had low iron levels for ages!). I was also treated with olanxapine, which I was weaned off slowly for around a year after my MBU discharge. You’re right, it can make us very sluggish!! You absolutely can ask about reducing the dosage, and it’s great you have a medication review coming up.
You will start to have more and more better days and begin to feel like “you” again. It can take a lot of patience, and hope, but it sounds like you are doing fantastically well. Coping with traumatic, intrusive, thoughts sounds utterly exhausting so please be super kind to yourself, and recognise how far you have come and what battles you have already won - for you and your family.
Hi, pleased to met you on here Lh501. You are at the right place, where women do exchange their lived experiences of PPP and recovery. They are such lovely and none-judgmental bunch of women.
I am so sorry about your struggles, but I can reassure you in time you will gain your confidence back. It is such a traumatic experience. Being kind to yourself and trying to work towards achievable goals maybe the answer!
Luckily you found us straight away. 5 yrs after psychosis I was guided to APP by an author, who wrote about PPP.
I was still struggling with mental health issues due to undiagnosed bipolar.
I was sectioned in 2010, but unfortunately not transferred to an MBU. Only when back home after more than 2 horrendous months in a psychiatric hospital, I finally received appropriate help and support in my own sanctuary.
I never compare when reading case studies, because our circumstances are all different subsequently our recovery will be always a very personal and authentic journey. However, reading the stories on this forum has enriched my knowledge and diminished the feeling of utter loneliness before the forum - at the time when I thought there is no one else with PPP.
My partner was looking after me full time after acute illness for 6 months, before gradually integrating back into work. Our experience was so traumatising, that we both experienced PTS at varied life stages.
I have had a health care and meds plan. A lot of people were involved in my recovery such as GP, health worker for 2 yrs, care coordinator for 8 yrs, support worker on and off, a Psychiatrist, who helped me to wean off after 1 year. I am more into alternative therapy. Modalities I have developed over the years, such as meditating, moderate exercising including Yoga, regular sleep pattern, Reiki and art therapy....are tailor made for my needs via my choices...Therefore it is important to communicate your needs, especially with those once who have the best interest in yours and the baby's well being (health professionals, family and good friends, who are kind and loving)
I am amazed how women have scaffolded their skills, despite such difficult times after giving birth. Be kind to yourself and find your way of happiness in pursuing me-time and interests that keep you motivated. Always ask for help and support. It takes time to built up a support network and that can change continuously, because you are recovering and your needs are changing.
hello Lh, so glad you have found this forum where you will receive encouragement from ladies who have felt and understand how you are feeling. There is so much empathy here. We are all cheering you on!
Although my episode was a long time ago, 1988 , I do remember feeling just how you have described. In particular the shock of PP. I did recover fully and went on to have two more babies with no PP.
There is a lot of advice about self care which I think is so valuable. Reducing as much stress and pressure as you can. I know it’s easier said than done. Sleep is one of my big factors as I had none leading up to PP. I like bedtime baths with nice scents, patchouli and rose and lavender. I don’t have caffeine after lunch time. I love colouring in, journaling and I knit and crochet. It’s just finding the things that help you relax. Singing works for me too!
For intrusive thoughts CBT can be very helpful in identifying the thoughts and letting them go. I was taught to see the thoughts as either clouds passing by , or trains stopping at a station and then moving on.
Hoping your meetings go well with the psychiatrist and I look forward to hearing how you get on.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. I struggled with depression after my psychosis as well and all I can say is that it truly does get better. Starting an antidepressant can help. Latuda and Lamictal are both approved for treating bipolar depression, if you got a bipolar diagnosis like I did after my psychosis. Sending you my best wishes.
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