I just found out I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in an unsettling way. I know I’m not currently allowed to drive and I’m fine with that, but I just opened a letter from the DVA confirming I’m not to drive, and it says about how they’ve accessed my medical records etc and I have a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (also known as EUPD) which presents with extreme depression, anxiety, cPTSD, psychosis and dissociation symptoms.
Now I knew about all the symptoms and psychiatrists have mentioned a possible personality disorder before but not a specific one. I guess all the symptoms get lumped together and given a name that is BPD.
I’m not surprised as such, it was just a surprising way to be told a diagnosis. All I can think of now is Brittany Murphy’s poor character with BPD in the movie Girl Interrupted who I’ve always really related to😔
Does anyone else have BPD who had PP? Or maybe like me went on to be diagnosed with BPD after having PP? I wonder if there’s any researched connection between the two or if PP is just another episode of psychosis related to the diagnosis?
I think I’m just feeling rather overwhelmed right now. Just the name Borderline Personality Disorder sounds like there is something innately wrong with me as a personality and that I was just made broken to start with.
Sammy x
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Sending you a virtual hug. I can only imagine how you felt reading that letter, and the emotions and sense of shock that must have come with it. Please take time for lots of self care today 💐
I don’t have BPD but I am familiar with the condition. Please don’t feel that there is anything wrong with your personality 💗 I’ve never understood why it’s called EUPD/BPD when it is a mood disorder. When you feel ready to do so, I really recommend talking with your health professionals about the letter you received and discussing all of the treatment options available to you.
I know of people who have accessed Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for BPD and other conditions, and they have found it really helpful. Here’s a DBT info sheet from Mind:
I'm so sorry you've been informed of a diagnosis in that way, that's awful to find out in a letter from the DVLA
I believe BPD/EUPD is a diagnosis that some psychiatrists are trying to move away from as I understand in the vast majority of cases complex trauma is involved and as you've illustrated, making it sound like it's about someone's personality being disordered is just not helpful. I'm so sorry it's made you feel that way.
I think it would be worth contacting your doctors and asking for some clarification - whether it's in your medical notes as something that has been discussed, or if an actual diagnosis has been made. I'm sure others here will have experiences to share.
The following information about BPD/EUPD on the Mind website may be helpful to look at when you feel ready, but please remember the most important thing is finding good support and understanding in helping you to manage the symptoms you experience.
Oh my goodness, your post brings a pang to my heart because something like this happened to me. When I developed PP back in 2002 I was severely depressed, paranoid, anxious, dissociating, having panic attacks, and incredibly suicidal. I was also hearing voices or maybe intrusive thoughts to harm myself and so I started self harming, which I had never done in my life. And remember this was early 2000s, so I had no social media feeds, a very unreliable internet connection on which to find any information, and not even a public library. In short I had not learned about self harm from anyone else. I couldn't explain why I was doing it, I just heard those voices and that seemed like the answer. I was seeing a therapist at the time because I'd had a lot of anxiety and sickness during my pregnancy and was prone to panic attacks. My therapist, as caring as she was, was not experienced with psychotic disorders or postpartum psychosis, and she didn't recognize it as being that or know what it was. All we knew was that I was in terrible, terrible shape. I did not have a psychiatrist because I lived in a very rural area at the time (I'm in the USA) and there simply wasn't one available that I could get an appointment with. I didn't know what to do or what was wrong with me.
So what happened was, my therapist went on vacation for a couple months, but because I was in such bad condition she arranged for another therapist in her office to see me while she was gone. I went to the new therapist's office, told her my story, and while I was sitting on her couch she called a private pay psychiatrist she knew in a nearby town, who was not taking patients, but she told them it was urgent and convinced him to see me. I could not afford this; the initial cost was something like $550 US dollars, but I was truly desperate.
I did not like this psychiatrist at all. He called me "Little Lady" and "Darling". He listened to my story and then basically treated me like I was an idiot. He told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder because of the self harming and actually said that I was seeking attention. He gave me a book on BPD, told me to read it, and said that he thought I'd see myself in it. I read it. It didn't sound anything like me. Not one provider I've ever seen since that time has mentioned BPD or felt that diagnosis was accurate. A lot of those symptoms were also rolled up into the fact that I was seriously depressed and psychotic, had recently had a baby and wasn't being treated adequately. I was taking a low dose of Prozac which had been prescribed by my OB/GYN; this psychiatrist told me to take a higher dose. It didn't help at all.
When I finally was hospitalized a couple months later, I don't know whether this doctor's diagnosis had anything to do with how they finally treated me, but I felt then and still feel like it was totally inaccurate. Reading about symptoms of postpartum psychosis today, I think there's a possibility of a lot of overlap.
I'll qualify that by saying that I am not a mental health professional and not at all qualified to say what someone does or doesn't have. Like someone else said, I haven't heard that term for a long time and am not sure it's even very common anymore. A couple of my providers have described their experience with BPD to me, and their view of it was quite different than how I think I was when I had PP. If I were in your position I would speak with your providers about it, have them tell you why you were diagnosed with that and why that is relevant to your current condition. Maybe even see a different provider, if you don't feel like it's accurate.
I can also tell you that I'm in my 50s now, it's been 21 years since I had PP, and I have none of those symptoms anymore. So don't give up, keep doing the best you can and trying to live your best life, and eventually things should improve for you. I always try to remember the phrase, "This too shall pass." We are strong.
receiving a letter about a diagnosis without receiving the support is so incredibly tough. Professor Ian Jones was so careful when disclosing the diagnosis and asking very caring questions beforehand.
I have not heard of BPD anymore, but took part in group counselling initially run by Mind. There were around 5 people and I met 2 with BPD, and that was in 2012. I am not sure about putting a stamp like that onto somebodies forehead without counselling/guiding/mentoring by a professional.
Some of the responses and links are recent up-dates. Thus, it maybe worthwhile to get some professional advice as suggested and when feeling better doing some research yourself. Stated illnesses, its name and definitions are often updated according to further development and political correctness. Obviously in my case it was called manic depressive, but now defined as bipolar. The history and treatment of bipolar and connecting with BipolarUK has helped me to gain more clarity. It is important to figure out what your diagnosis is based on, who made the decission and whether it is recorded in your medical notes as mentioned by Jenny. Receiving a letter with a diagnosis is appalling!
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