Ignorance, not just stigmatization is why we still have shame talking about mental llnesses

[Borderlinemummy]

Think about it.. When you feel physically sick, you have no problem going to the hospital to speak to a doctor about your symptoms.

If it were a mental challenge like hearing voices of negative thoughts, or seeing things that aren't there, or even losing total control of your thinking faculty so that you cannot tell reality from imagination, would you feel confident as when you went to the doctor at a hospital?

Where I come from, we usually hide our relatives who aren't mentally sane. In my case, I wasn't sure if I was same or insane though my mother told me almost everyday since I was about 6 years old that I was insane.

Getting diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder at 28 (10 years ago) was a relief until I started learning there is a difference between what I had to become to survive my childhood and how that no longer serves me now.

I am learning how deep maternal mental illness runs in my family, especially my maternal linage. I am learning how growing up with a mentally ill mother and raising kids as a mentally ill person is a generational pattern.

I want to talk more about maternal mental illness because it is just as valid as physical illness and the trauma one’s body goes through just be carrying a pregnancy to term and birthing a child.

I believe the reason we hide our relatives and shy away from conversations about mental illness is ignorance. When we understand that the mind can break down just like the body breaks down, we will begin to offer ourselves (and others) kindness as we seek to heal the mind that is breaking (or broken) down.

I am glad I found this space.

I shall spread to other spaces and continue to learn, heal, teach and evolve.

It's a pleasure to be here ❤️

[Kat_at_APP Volunteer]

Hi Borderlinemummy - a very warm welcome to the forum here. I’m so glad you have found this space.

Thank you for sharing some of your experiences - it sounds like you have had to overcome so many difficulties in your journey to where you are now. Growing up with a mentally unwell parent (who is perhaps quite self stigmatising as well as stigmatising of yourself) sounds so hard. I too have a maternal lineage history of mental illness, and a family who never spoke about it until confronted with my psychosis. I’m determined to change the script for my own child. I want him to know that it’s ok not to be ok and that he can always come to me with any worries or problems, mental illness-related or not!

Anyways, I just wanted to offer some solidarity and gratitude for your post - what a survivor you are, and it sounds like you have found a fantastic source of inner strength and compassion. I work at a mental health recovery college, where I help teach students in self compassion. It’s so powerful!

Love and strength

Kat

[Borderlinemummy in reply to Kat_at_APP]

This is a very compassionate response and it made me feel seen and understood, strong even. My son (7years old) told me once he wanted to die. I used to feel this same way for years. I have started letting him know it's ok not to be ok. Seeing that part about teaching your son the same just gives me more strength and determination to do for my kids that which wasn't done for me.

I have been through a lot of emotional problems coupled with a personality disorder and three children to cater to. It was all so hard and confusing but now it feels pretty sane being able to say I'm not ok but I am striving for better; for myself and for my kids.

I already love it here ❤️

[Ramlah_at_APP Volunteer]

Hello Borderlinemummy,

Welcome to the forum ! So happy you managed to find us , this is a place where you can relate and connect with so many different women of different walks of life who deal with mental health.

Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your experience.

Life you said when you feel physically sick , you have no problem going to the hospital. It should be the same when we feel mentally unstable but unfortunately sometimes with the influence of society or even family members we are afraid to be open about our mental health .

I am so glad you managed to get a diagnosis, I can only imagine how you must have felt. I was diagnosed with bipolar 8 years ago , which gave me a sense of relief too , things began to fall into place. However some parts of East Africa where I am from mental health is not spoken about , therefore which makes it hard for some of my relatives to understand it which is something that I am trying to tackle. Mental health needs to be normalised ❤️

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Take good care xx

[Borderlinemummy in reply to Ramlah_at_APP]

You are so right that mental health needs to be normalized and I think it behooves us who are now aware and seeking help and relief, to raise awareness, help our kids, family and friends to learn to care for their mental health.

I am so happy this space exists. We will raise awareness and start the normalization process.

Thanks for your comments.

Take care xoxo

[Ramlah_at_APP Volunteer in reply to Borderlinemummy]

Indeed ! Like you said above bringing awareness to it starts from home with my our family e.g our kids being open to talk if they feel anxious etc .

Aww , just reading your reply has brought a big smile to my face.

Yes shall raise awareness !

You are welcome

All the best, here when ever you want to talk xx

[Borderlinemummy in reply to Ramlah_at_APP]

Thank you kindly for this invitation to talk. I'd remember this ❤️🙏🏾

[Ramlah_at_APP Volunteer in reply to Borderlinemummy]

You are welcome xx

[The_Wes_Anderson_Fan Volunteer]

Hello Borderlinemummy, I am really glad you have found us, too. I am so sad to hear about the situation where you come from. It isn't perfect in the UK, but it's improving all the time. I hope people start to get better educated about mental health with your help. I am pleased that you have found this forum and that you can confide in us. I admire your bravery and your desire to help others. Lots of Love x

[Borderlinemummy in reply to The_Wes_Anderson_Fan]

Thank you for your comment. Mental health is still such a new topic here in Nigeria. I am hopeful this will change over the coming years. Love received with gratitude 🤗