Aniexty after pp

[Htrinder6]

Hi all I got pp last year after birth of my son in July and I’ve always had bit of aniexty but it seems to have gotten worse so I get anxious going to places or seeing certain people and end up going quiet round people or my aniexty gets worse. Does it get better ? I’m still currently on medication but looking to come off it when my son turns one. Thanks

[Varvarita]

Hello dear Htrinder6 ! Firstly i’m so sorry that you had to go through such a difficult thing as PP. Secondly congratulations on surviving PP, and i’m glad the perspective of getting off meds seems soon to you.

My story is that i was having anxiety issues as well, just a little bit after hospital, but it was gradually getting worse and worse to the extent that my heart was pumping all the time and i was waking up early not able fall asleep again, lost appetite and i could only ease it with walking, so i was walking 5-6 hours per day with my pram :))).

I weaned off my antipsychotics 7 months after PP, hoping that anxiety was related to my meds and that it will go away.

But in my case anxiety only grew stronger, and turned into insomnia and then depression.

When my kid was 11 months old I had to start a SSRI (fluoxetine) and after 2-3 months of SSRI my anxiety was gone, and when i finished 6 months of SSRI i was feeling nice and myself. My kid is 2,5 now and i’m still fine.

Looking back, i think that my PP was followed by anxiety disorder, but doctors thought that it was an aftertaste of my psychosis or a side effect of my meds, and so i lost a lot of time hoping that anxiety will go away with time, or with yoga, mindfulness, diet, therapy and even benzodiazepines, but only SSRI did the trick for me.

Good luck on your journey!

Xx

[Htrinder6 in reply to Varvarita]

Hey,

Thanks for responding sorry took so long to reply I’ve been away and just busy.

I’m currently on 200g quietipine and 45mg mirtazipine starting to wean off them in July when my son is one I have rang the perinatal team about trying an ssri but they just said they don’t want me to rely on medication and to try some coping strategies but I do all this but I still get anxious most days I just don’t want to keep feeling like this everyday.

They are due to sign me over to the doctors when I’m being weaned of them so I might see if the doctor will let me try them.

I’m due to go back to work then on holiday with few friends and was hoping to try the tablets as I know they take few weeks to kick in before all this happens.

I do go for walks which helps to a certain extent I’m going to try mindfulness and yoga again.

Thanks

Hannah

[hgallo Volunteer]

HiHrinter6, I had pp in 2016 after my twin girls were born. I had a lot of social anxiety especially in big open spaces for a couple of years after. It had got better for me with time and low level mood stabilisers. You're early days so don't be too hard on yourself. Start with things you feel comfortable with and work up. Maybe go along with a friend or family member at first for support. Sorry that's a bit rushed. But you will get there I promise, small steps x

[Twobabies Volunteer in reply to hgallo]

Ahh a fellow twin mummy! Great reply small steps building up good idea. Xx

[hgallo Volunteer in reply to Twobabies]

We are warriors Twobabies! xx

[Htrinder6 in reply to hgallo]

Thanks for responding I think having psychosis I panic that everyone knows and thinks that I’m a bad mom or I feel people treat me differently or don’t know how to act around me maybe so then I get on edge. Just feels like going round in CircleSome days I keep making sure I do things to build my confidence and maybe control my aniexty just wish I would stop feeling it altogether.

[hgallo Volunteer in reply to Htrinder6]

Hi Htrinter6, I often feel like that too. But people really don't know just by looking at you. Takes things as slowly as you need to and I promise you will find people who admire your strength for getting through it. Those are the keepers! X

[Cheryl-2021 Volunteer]

Hi 👋 I am sorry to read you are experiencing this. I have just weaned off my medication to prevent psychosis after a year and I am also experiencing anxiety. My consultant said this was normal when weaning off medication and advised to keep an eye on it. Anxiety is not something I have experienced before so I can sympathise with you that it is not nice 😕. Just keep talking to your professionals and I hope you can get control of it x

[Htrinder6 in reply to Cheryl-2021]

Thank you I hope you’re feeling better as well, do you currently take anything for anxiety or do you use different methods to control it?

[Cheryl-2021 Volunteer in reply to Htrinder6]

Thank you. I recently went on holiday abroad and they prescribed me diazepam for 14 days as you can't use it long term. The plan was to take it to prevent the anxiety attacks whilst I was away. However I started worrying about taking it on the plane 🤦‍♀️ and them stopping me at security (this wouldn't happen btw I just couldn't stop thinking it would). So I didn't collect it. Instead I have agreed to a referral to talking therapies. I'm waiting for my appointments to start next month. Hoping this will help with my thoughts and panic attacks. I will let you know how it goes....

[Twobabies Volunteer]

Hi Htrinder6, thanks for sharing on the forum. Sorry to hear you’ve been through this awful illness. I too suffered from Ppp in 2018. I can understand wanting to wean of meds at a year, I too was given the year date as the time in which we might wean the antipsychotic. I did wean off the antipsychotics at a year but was on a pretty high dose of anti anxiety/ depression medication for much longer so I think that might have helped me in social situations quite a bit. Are you on anything for anxiety? PP is such a traumatic illness it can really rock us to our core and can make interacting like we used to hard especially in recovery. I found it hard at first when with people that had no idea the trauma I’d been through it felt as is my brain was almost processing what had happened in the background. I also in time weaned then anti anxiety/ antidepressant. So to answer your questions yes absolutely I’m sure it will be better! You’ve been through so much it’s only natural it will take time, be super kind to you. Is there any people you like to be with you find doesn’t tend to cause the anxiety to rise ? And are you able to get any talking therapy? Small steps and abundance of self love and care. I hold hope it will get better for you as it did me. Big hugs. Xx

[Htrinder6 in reply to Twobabies]

Thanks for responding can I ask what you had for anxiety and do you feel it helped ?

Yes I do have people that I’m more confident around than others but obviously don’t want to keep avoiding people otherwise feel like it won’t ever get better.

I have just referred myself for cbt therapy so hoping maybe this helps a little.

Thank you x

[Twobabies Volunteer in reply to Htrinder6]

Hi Htrinder6, that’s great you’ve got some cbt therapy lined up, well done getting that organised and from what you say about getting out comfort zone with others sounds like you really determined to push through all the challenges you feel/ have felt. In terms of meds for anxiety / stress I was on a pretty high dose of Sertraline for a few years after having pp, I definitely felt like it helped take the edge off and helped me cope more easily with some unexpected hard times surrounding my daughters health and anxiety with work etc. Everyone is different but perhaps you could speak with GP or physiatrist about meds that might support you in this transition time. Im not sure if would be useful but any apps or exercises that focus on breath might help , longer out count breath to in, so in for 4 out for 5/6 whatever feels most comfortable. I recently used the Thich Nhat Hanh ‘ I am breathing in( as you breath in) and say to yourself’ I am breathing out’ as you breath out, sometimes it’s useful to give the mind something to do so just saying that in your head can help mind focus on that, or sensation on breath cool air on nostril in / warm air out. Hope things are feeling like getting easier. Sending lots of love and Wishing you all the very best. Write anytime and let us know how everything going xxx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Htrinder6

Congratulations on the birth of your son in July.

I’m sorry you are suffering with anxiety following PP. I think after such an ordeal you need to rebuild your confidence which has been shattered. I had PP many years ago and was very anxious, worrying about how I would be perceived by others.

Thankfully I found APP and all the lovely mums here helped me to realise that PP was not my fault and I had no choice when it struck. Eventually I began to rebuild my confidence and was proud of how far I had come, as you will in time.

The BBC has a “mental health toolkit” at bbc.co.uk/headroom/ which has helpful ideas. There are personal stories, one of which is Nadia Hussain “Anxiety and Me”. She sets out to find the cause of her anxiety and explores various treatments, so I’m not sure if this might be helpful to listen to. There are also other topics and mindful relaxing music.

Be kind to yourself and take care.

[Pikorua Volunteer in reply to Lilybeth]

very useful link x

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Htrinder6,

I am sorry you are struggling with anxiety, yet we always have to remember that PPP is a traumatising illness and a lot depends on your lived experience and the provision, help and support you were given at acute illness followed by your present and ongoing recovery.

And there is no set time of complete recovery as we are all of a different biological make-up and varied circumstances affecting our recovery such as environmental, cultural, financial-political issues, but also direct influential experiences of life events .

In my case I have a continuous healing process. It is like a windmill - without facilitating modalities I would get poorly. In order to keep going, I have to implement my ever changing toolkit. I am now more in control of managing my life with BP after PPP.

I continuously struggle with anxiety, and had to learn about my triggers and applying strategies in order to prevent panic attacks.

I like the books (3) by Joshua Fletcher about

1. Anxiety Panicking about Panic

2. Untangle your Anxiety (Joshua and Dean Stott)

3. Anxiety Practical about Panic (Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety)

I was wrongly diagnosed with agora and social phobia, - those type of fear and anxiety descriptors are correct, but they are part of having BP (part of my spectrum).

Luckily the 7 years of ongoing Insomnia are now diminished by CBD oil of 15mg daily.

Otherwise I am living with therapeutic modalities i.e. daily meditation, Yoga several times a week, Reiki and Art therapy (qualified as professional in those areas, which was initially purely to self-help, but subsequently to apply skills in order to help family and friends),

learning for concentration level and focus, but also to stop mind racing when on a high.

My focus and responsibility for my son, especially with holistic education is fulfilling.

One needs to figure out what works for oneself. I have had group therapy 2 yrs after PPP, but also was helped by a support worker and care coordinator with exposure therapy.

Please, be kind to yourself and all in stepping stones. Gardening and exercising helps, too.

Kind wishes,

x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Htrinder6

Just wondering how you are coping with your anxiety. I hope the support and links here have been helpful. Perhaps your GP could also refer you to talking therapy which might help in addition to your medication? Be kind to yourself.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Htrinder6

Looking through your posts I notice that your son is one year this month. I hope you will / were able to celebrate and not be too overwhelmed. Also I think the cbt sessions will be helpful and hope the waiting list is not too long. I wonder whether you were able to find anything to help in the link to the BBC’s “Headroom” at bbc.co.uk/headroom.

Are you able to have a phased return when you go back to work, just to make things a little easier for a while? I hope you enjoy your holiday with friends. Thinking of you ... take care.

[Htrinder6 in reply to Lilybeth]

Hi lily,

Thanks for messaging I went to the monkey forest and Nando’s for carters birthday then some family came round I did think about a party but not sure I’m ready for loads of people yet I do still get overwhelmed when to many people round.

Im back at work now this is my second week and also I’ve started to reduce my quitapine currently on 50 dropped down from 200 haven’t really noticed much difference so hopefully this continues.

I haven’t had look yet but I will do and I’m still waiting to hear about cbt hopefully won’t be to much longer.

I’m trying to learn to control my aniexty I went to bbq on weekend and was ok at the start but did notice later on I was feeling bit anxious / nervous and normally I just go bit quiet hoping if I keep putting myself out there eventually I’ll learn to be ok again.

I joined gym last night so looking forWard to getting back in to fitness.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hi Htrinder6

Thanks so much for taking time to message. The monkey forest sounds like a great place for your son’s first birthday. I think it’s good that you know your limits about being around too many people. I remember how anxious I felt, not wanting to be the centre of attention and trying to control my anxiety.

I hope work is not too stressful as you have dropped your medication down and you can find time to have regular reviews. Have you been transferred to community care now?

I think you are doing so well to be back at work after only a year, coping with the effects of medication and routine. You seem to be managing your anxiety and I hope as your confidence grows you will find things a little easier .... the gym sounds a great place to start.

Try to find time to unwind as well ... perhaps looking at self-compassion exercises too? I hope you hear about cbt soon. Take care and be kind to yourself.