Thoughts after PP

Hi as many of you know now my wife is 9 weeks post PP and she was hospitalized for 16 days. She has since changed from risperdal to Latuda. She has been on Latuda for the last 4 weeks at 80mg.

Often times at dinner the surrounding tables will distract her and she will get a blank stare. Typically it is because she thinks they are talking about us or watching after dinner she will say "why would I think that it's so silly. They don't know my story." Or that they are watching her to make sure she is safe.

Is this common? Is this delusional thinking? It's usually only when we are at dinner or in the checkout line at the store. Should we be concerned or is this more social anxiety or paranoia at this point.

Thanks again everyone!!!

11 Replies

  • I think so. It's just you lose so much confidence in your mind that once you are better you don't really trust yourself anymore. Also, I know when I was ill I was scared of people watching me and thinking I was crazy so maybe it's a little of that, too.

  • You mention ill are you referring to your Pyschosis or just during your recovery just trying to understand when in your recovery you had the thoughts

  • It was when I was ill. But I think it lingers after. And you don't trust your mind anymore, because it turned on you, so it's hard to be ok.

  • Hi Chadlink

    It sounds to me like you are just observant and concerned when she says something, that she may be becoming psychotic again? which is really natural I think, and natural that you'll be on 'high alert' observing how she is. It's a really tough one.

    The good thing is she is on the medication, my experience was that I didn't get as ill (psychotic) as I was at the beginning of the illness. I had a 'dip' about 6 weeks in when I was due to be discharged home and became very anxious, paranoid and some psychotic thoughts returned, but I think it was linked to the particular stressful situation and within a couple of days with an increase in medication the thoughts lessened.

    I did have moments of paranoia, and like you said it sounds like there is some social anxiety there too. From how you describe her it sounds very similar to what I felt, and how I would act. To be honest being in a place with lots of people / members of the public, I found overwhelming, too stimulating, and felt really unsafe, I think I had a blank stare too. I wonder is there a way you can avoid those kind of situations for the moment as much as possible (I know it's not possible all the time), just for a few weeks until she feels stronger? It's really good that she can rationalise afterwards that her thoughts weren't right, and that of course people weren't talking about her. It's probably that she just feels so vulnerable, and doesn't trust herself either, and thinks that people can see it too probably.

    I found going for walks with baby, going to a park etc more do-able rather than going to places with lots of people (such as shops, or busy restaurants/cafes)

    Take care, you are doing such an amazing job of looking after your wife X

  • She often wants to go out in public so we really don't ever go unless she wants to. The problem then is do I tell her we should for awhile or do we continue to go.

    Do you know about how long your thoughts continued even after being medicated?


  • I think what bindy7 says is similar to what I feel, it is hard to trust yourself. It's really good your wife does want to go out, that is a good sign. I think it was just a gradual getting better, slowly, gaining in confidence and slowly the thoughts faded. I think I've said before it was really 18 months before I felt fully well but definitely I was well on my way to mainly feeling OK after 8 or 9 months... but each person is so different, each experience is unique.

    Take care and keep writing wheneveryou want!

  • Good morning Chadlink,

    I believe your wife is doing exceptionally well. I would observe, but not over analyze too much.

    I agree with Elli, every case and person is so different. A gradual integration into the community is important and if your wife has the strengths and willpower to go out and face crowds indicates a positive step forward. However, because of medication and path of recovery she probably will be extremely vulnerable and sensitive, thus support network and taking daily routines and activities/events in stepping stones is of vital importance.

    My partner went with me for little walks, practicing daily routines, but in the first 6 months I was unable to do anything else. Then I started taking out my son to sure start activities, which enabled me to connect with mums. Even that was extremely difficult.

    Yes, we all have had PPP, but our needs do vary depending on template, environment, I believe level of Psychosis, treatment and experiences throughout.

    Good luck, love and kindness goes a long way.


  • Hi Sabine,

    Thank you! How long did it take you to fully recover? Did you go on to have a long term mental illness? I enjoyed your posts and art!

  • Thank you for your reply. I have recovered from PPP. Unfortunately I still struggle with Agora and Social Phobia, but I have got my coping strategies and support network. My purpose in life is of a different kind and a happy one, which I share with my amazing partner and wonderful son, who is now 6 years old.

    Wishing you and your wife & children all the best.


  • Hello chadlink

    I hope your wife is continuing to recover.

    When you are in public with your wife, are you also with the baby? Perhaps you could suggest to her that you both might prefer a night at home together now and again ... possibly create a surprise meal for her, so that she will not feel so anxious and will be able to relax with you and your baby?

    Best wishes.

  • Hi Chadlink, just to echo others, I also felt very anxious in public places for some time after my PP episode, probably up to 6 months or more. It was also linked to a complete lack of confidence I had in myself and wondering what others thought of me, even if they were total strangers, which I know sounds daft in hindsight!

    It sounds as if your wife is doing really well to want to be out and about and I would encourage and support her as best as you can, but also be aware that this might change and she might value quiet time at home too,

    Take care, I hope things continue to improve for your family. All the best, xx

You may also like...