I had an episode of pp exactly a year ago when I was 5 mths postpartum, I woke up one morning in complete confusion and depersonalization. I believe I was saved before this happened, but now I'm questioning it. Over thE past year I have doubted and questioned everything I've read in my Bible and so much has made me feel condemned like there is just no hope for me. Like maybe I'm the one who isn't one of the elect. Many are called few are chosen scripture says. Maybe I'm the one that is falling away. It's so scary because I had so much faith and trust in the Lord before this happened. Now I'm so insecure and having a hard time finding my way back to faith and trust I'm crying out in fear instead of faith. Has any christian been messed with like this? I'm so scared that maybe I'm feeling this way because maybe I wasn't saved and God wants to get me somewhere but I'm just not getting it and if I don't get it figured out then I'm just doomed for hell. I so desperately want to be saved if I'm not already. But my anxiety and doubts and fears make me think how can he save me if I'm not trusting he will. It's like saying I know you can do this but I don't think you will do it for me. I NEVER THOUGHT LIKE THIS BEFORE . I'm so scared I'm not one of the chosen. This Pp and anxiety has got me so messed up my husband says I'm always all over the place and he feel like he needs to watch me all the time b3cause I am just not using my head ever.
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