Hi I’m new to this forum - it has been recommended to me by my perinatal team who are fab but would love to chat to others going through or having experience of this.
I’m four and a half months into this journey and having my ups and downs. My main problem is confidence in looking after my baby so husband can return to work. It’s just so scary. Any tips or advice would be great.
Hi Jenni2201 and a huge welcome to the forum, where you will find lots of women (& family members) who have experienced PP. When I was unwell, confidence was a massive thing for me too - I had good support from a team when I went home from hospital but the days were long and overwhelming at times. I know things are difficult at the minute with the Covid-19 situation but do you have some local support, either from a mental health team or family/ friends at all? APP also has a Recovery Guide which you might like to read (& if you'd like a copy posting out please let us know): app-network.org/what-is-pp/...
What I found helped me was trying to not do too much but perhaps get out for a walk, or have a quiet few minutes to myself to have a cuppa and read a magazine or watch something rubbish on TV. Having a baby at home can be tiring anyway, and with recovery from PP it's an extra layer somehow isn't it? I realise there aren't as many groups happening at the moment too, but there is other support from APP and other organisations too - I wrote to you on another reply you'd done about our peer support and different things too.
The main thing I found was to try and take things slowly - I was the worst at doing this though and wanted to get "back to normal" so desperately, but it can take time. Your confidence will build though and you will be back to you again in time, we are all here to chat in the meantime.
Take care, xx
Hi Jenni2201
Congratulations on the birth of your baby 
So happy you were recommended to the forum by your fab perinatal team. This is definitely the place to find support and shared experiences, so you know you're not alone
I had PP many years ago and was under general psychiatric care. I also had ups and downs to recovery. In the early days it was hard for me to even get out of bed!! Like you, I didn't feel confident to look after my newborn son and my husband was doing such a good job! I do understand the need for your husband to go back to work though.
As you are only four and a half months into recovery I think you need to give yourself time to adjust to being a new mum after going through the trauma of PP. At the moment with the virus it must be difficult if friends and family are not allowed to visit.
Try not to expect too much of yourself too soon. If you can just do little things with your baby at first and your confidence will build. It's not easy coping with a new baby and routine so try not to worry. With the help and support from your care team and your husband you will eventually feel better and more able to cope.
There's a resource "PP Soup - a nourishing mix of all things Postpartum Psychosis" at ppsoupdotcom.wordpressdotcom/ put together by a lovely mum with experience of PP and contributions from other mums and professionals, which you might find helpful and reassuring.
PP mums truly are amazing ...... take care and keep in touch if it helps.
Hi Jenni2201, Reading your post reminds me of me three years ago A terrifying thought my husband going back to work, but we did it in steps, he started with mornings and built it up to 9-3. Our GP helped with medical notes and we scheduled friends to pop in. My mum and dad stayed initially tue-thur and I managed mon and fri which was the first step in feeling a little confident. The health visitor also had said to call her and she could visit weekly, she also talked me through lots of development checks which actually reassured me I had still been a good mum and doing what I could My little One was doing Really well development wise. When things open up a bit more I really thought baby groups helped me.... despite what we’d been through even a non PP new mum had low confidence to begin with And we are all in this together. I found having a routine really helped me find the day not as long. Watching certain things on tv or putting music on. My nurse met me outside of the home to encourage me to go out, knowing I had someone who understood when I got there and could help with how I was feeling. You are doing really well to be thinking about Your husbands return to work. Honestly it really won’t be long until you have totally got this. The more you do little bits, the more your confidence grows and it’s easier the next time. Don’t forget to look up if there is an APP cafe group near you (I go to one) Made me feel normal again and reinforces the fact you will bounce back as others have. Lots of love to you, reach out for anything else you need. Xx
Hi thank you for your message it’s so nice to hear from someone who has been through this. How do I find an app cafe?? Sounds like a great thing. I’ve been at mother in laws all weekend so trying to keep it together.
Hi Jenni
I’m the national peer support coordinator here at APP.
I’m not sure if there will be a cafe group in your area, but we also offer one to one support over video call too (for those in the U.K.). And we are also hoping to develop more cafe groups.
If you email me we can connect. My email is ellie@app-network.org
I resonate a lot with your post. I found being back home after being in the unit hard, and like you I felt really apprehensive about being at home alone while my partner was at work. I wonder if there’s other family or friends who can maybe visit you on set days? My parents visited once a week for the whole day, which was a lifesaver.
Somehow we muddled through though, you will come through this and you really will get better. I found setting myself small tasks to do each day , trying to have a routine, and forcing myself to go for a walk each day helped. Also writing each evening the things I was thankful for / that were positive that day.
And here I am 8 years later, supporting others, giving talks about my experience and I have such a close bond and relationship with my son. At the time I would never have thought that possible . There’s so many of us who are proof that you really will come through this and get better!
Take care, I look forward to hearing from you.
Ellie xx
Hi Jenni, I just wanted to let you know I've received your email and I've replied, just in case my email goes to your spam, which can sometimes happen.
Take care,
Ellie
Hi Jenni
Just wondering how you are a few weeks after posting? I hope you are feeling a little more confident and supported by your perinatal team. I’m sure if you are able to join other PP mums at a cafe group (probably virtually for now?) you will find comfort and understanding from kindred spirits, as I have.
We are all here for you ..... take care.
Hi Lilybeth,
Thanks for checking in- I’m still struggling to be honest can’t really see an end point at the moment. Still waiting for new medication to be sorted so just trying to hold on really. I have amazing support from friends and family especially my husband but fear how much more they will put up with. I’m just fed up not feeling myself.
Hi Jenni2201
Thanks for taking time out to reply. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling and I know it’s an awful feeling. I think as soon as your medication is sorted out you will hopefully begin to feel better, although try not to rush yourself.
I’ve read from my notes that a few medications were tried before the ones that worked for me were found.
So lovely to hear you have amazing support from your husband, family and friends. You are recovering from such a traumatic illness so try not to be so hard on yourself.
Your husband, family and friends will want to be there for as long as it takes so please keep letting them know how you feel. Some days are better than others but with good medical care and support you will eventually fully recover. Perhaps you might speak to your perinatal team for support .... we are here for you too.
Take care.
Hi Jenni2201
I hope your medication has now been sorted and you are slowly feeling the benefit with support from the perinatal team. It must be very reassuring that your have amazing support from your husband and family. Take good care of yourself ... stay safe.
Hi thanks for checking in - I’m not doing too badly. Have started on my lithium but need to get the dosage right. Had in laws staying for the week which has been nice. Again I couldn’t do this without my husband and perinatal team who are both amazing.
Hi Jenni2201, good to hear your update and that things are going ok and you have support from both family and perinatal services. Take care, we’re here to chat, xx
Hi Jenni2201
Thanks for taking time out to reply. Good to hear you’re not doing too badly and have had nice company this week. I hope it won’t be too long before you are on the right dose of medication which works for you. Take care .... we are all here to lean on.
Hi Jenni2201
A few months have gone by and I was just wondering how you are, especially with the pandemic? I hope your confidence is returning and the perinatal team continue to be amazing. Take care.
Hi Jenni2201 .... thanks for taking time out to reply. It’s good to hear that your mood is definitely better. Recovering and regaining confidence is no walk in the park so take a day at a time and lean on all the great support around you. PP mum really are amazing! Be kind to yourself.
That’s good news Jenni2201 ...... what a star you are!! Take care.
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