Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Feeling really low

I’ve just been diagnosed with gestational diabetes and it’s really knocked me. I’m not very occupied with work as things are winding down as maternity leave approaches. I’ve stopped taking haloperidol for a few days on the advice of my perinatal psychiatrist, tried eating differently (avoiding sugar) and now I just feel utterly miserable. I love food and hate diets.

I’m not looking forward to these next few months at all. I’m thinking of re-starting the haloperidol tonight to see if it makes a difference with my mood, especially as I’ve been so tearful and sleepy today.

This pregnancy has been one thing after another - anxiety about getting postpartum psychosis again, flu, hypomania, waters breaking early and now gestational diabetes. My last pregnancy was nothing like this! It feels like I have such bad luck and worry about what more could be thrown at me - maybe a shit birth to top it all off.

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Hey Jessi - I’m so sorry to hear this. What a stressful time you’re having, to say the least! Do you have anyone you can talk it all through with? I’m not very familiar with the symptoms of GD but hopefully your midwife will be able to reassure you and give you some good support.

Did your Perinatal psychiatrist explain why they were recommending you come off your haloperidol? I would be wary of going against doctor advice, and restarting it on your own, but perhaps the APP second opinion service could be an option here?

Whatever you decide we are all here for you and wishing you all the best! Just think of how well you’re doing to make it so far. Amazing work!! X

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Hi KatG,

I was taking haloperidol because the baby might come early, but since nothing else happened after the waters broke it’s now business as usual and I don’t need to take medication to prevent PP for the next couple of weeks. The doctor doesn’t mind if I feel the need to take it, but thinks I don’t need to if all is OK.

I called my Mum earlier and she was a little helpful. I’d like to speak to my husband about how I feel, but don’t think he wants to hear it as he’s had a bad day too and is very tired now.

We’re going to a GD education session at the hospital tomorrow morning, and seeing my midwife in the afternoon. I expect it will only make me feel worse as the reality sets in on all the restrictions, risks and complications.

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Ah I see thanks Jessi that makes sense. I’m glad baby seems to be staying put - that must have given you a real fright when your waters went early. The education session will hopefully be balanced - it’s good to know the risks etc, but maybe you could arrive a little early and explain about your anxiety and ask them to be mindful of this in the session? Hope it goes ok and sets your mind at rest a little. Take care x

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I asked about GD impacts on mental health and her answer was quite insensitive. She said that there’s no evidence of impact other than some women having bad reaction to the news as if it’s ‘the end of the world’. So ignorant 🙁

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Argh what an unthinking response! Sounds like one midwife who hasn’t received any training or read any of the recent guidance on Perinatal mental health! The education work APP and others do, must continue...

I hope the session was at least helpful in terms of practical help in managing the physical symptoms of GD...

Lots of love and good wishes x

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Hi Jessi_D,

Again no expert here but you might want to look into (without stressing yourself, remain calm) a second opinion about GD. There is some debate about this (my daughter refused a second test to confirm GD, she might not be the best example about obsessing, but she did know her stuff). Especially if it is going to conflict with other treatments that are keeping you safe and healthy.

The multidisciplinary team is so so necessary in all perinatal treatment that it should be required by the NHS.

Best Wishes for your healthy and happy pregnancy and birthing!

Peter

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A second opinion about whether I have GD or not? I think the test is conclusive - I didn’t produce enough insulin to tackle the glucose in the drink they gave me, which resulted in a high blood sugar level. I’ve asked both diabetes and mental health teams to work together.

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I'm sorry if I upset you. Let me swallow my words (not as bad as the the glucose drink) and restate what I tried to say (poorly).

I'm not a doctor (thank goodness), but there are some, who believe that the massive blood volume changes (50 to 70 cent) cause transient peaks in urine and blood osmosis.

The body struggles to manage your water intake verses water retention during pregnancy to support this new blood volume, not to mention the growing baby pressing down on your veins going to your kidneys!

As you state, diets are not fun, (but better than pills) and monitoring your fluid intake, perhaps changing sleeping and sitting positions could help?

Again forgive my clumsiness!

Best Wishes for good health and a Happy Pregnancy!

Peter

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Dear Jessi

I am sorry you are feeling low. It must be a very stressful time. I know when I was on medication for PP I craved sugar all the time, which really affected my mood. I was tested for Gd when I was pregnant and met several people who have had it previously. The only thing I was told was that the baby maybe slightly bigger at birth, this was certainly true for my friend. The professionals should monitor you and guess this will already be happening to make sure that you are both safe. Look after yourself, Marie x

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I’m so hungry and tired! This is so hard. I just want to eat some cake or carbs!

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Hi Jessi_D,

It's me (Mr. Sensitive), again, no, keep reading! I promise I get better with time (just like red wine).

Try this midwife's blog on carb cravings and how to do it without blowing your sugar levels!

cavegirlplusone.com/blog/20...

Hope you are feeling better!

Peter

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I have zero energy and am totally useless. Also, my husband seems to be so pissed off with me today. Rubbish.

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Hi Jessi_D, I’m not surprised you’re tired and lacking energy, it’s a tiring time being pregnant, never mind worrying about other factors such as PP and GD. I hope you’ve managed to do something for yourself or alternatively doing nothing at all and just relaxing is all important at the moment. In my second pregnancy, after PP with my first, I know I had the gestational diabetes test and was borderline. I remember feeling tired too and there’s something about chasing around after another child in pregnancy whilst having the worry or at least knowledge of PP potentially happening again, which we never had the first time.

As for husbands, I really do think they’re on another planet at times and have no clue, bless them (or not! Perhaps with a big stick?!) I hope that by writing here you’re feeling you can offload and perhaps you have a friend you can confide in too? I know how beneficial peer support can be and hope it’s helpful for you too - we’re all thinking of you, wishing you well. I hope the rest of the long weekend is better for you and you’ve got some nice weather to try and enjoy too. Take care, xx

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Thanks, the day is getting better.

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I just think husbands get in bad moods like the rest of us, and maybe it’s not easy when he feels like he’s doing all the domestic work and DIY (while I do nothing as so tired). We had a better afternoon, with the pool in the garden and some neighbours joined us with their little boy. We popped over to theirs for dinner which was lovely too. My neighbour has offered to help once a week with night feeding, to give my husband a break - unbelievably kind!

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I think it's difficult for husbands as they tend to try to keep a lid on things when they are struggling too. After all they have seen us when we were totally on another planet! I'm glad you had a good time with your neighbours and were invited to dinner .... that must have taken some of the pressure off for you both.

Take good care .... try to plan another relaxing evening soon where you can both unwind.

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Hi Jessi - I can't tell you about gestational diabetes but have first hand experience of type 2 diabetes. It has taken me over 6 years to get my blood sugar down. I could not take the drugs and was threatened with insulin and other drugs, I have recently had an allergy test and found to my horror I had multi food allergies with grains fruit and dairy and eggs.

Having removed wheat rye barley eggs rice banana and eggs my IBS symptoms and sugar levels have gone down. I eat potatoes, and crisps, but so many foods you buy even milk has added sugar. Drinking no added sugar fruit squashes, and cutting down on cakes and biscuits and avoiding certain tonic waters with sweetners might help too as these sweetners might be calorie free but convert to glucose in the liver. My hubby sits with choco bars and eats bisucits so I just have to have an oatmeal bisuit with no gluten or wheat in it with some sandwich spread or fish paste! Lactase free milk and yoghurt might cut your sugar levels too.

My dreams of mars bars and romantic chocs and gateau ice cream and banana splits have all gone out the window. However my blood sugar is below normal average so I feel that is

an achievement. Diabetes can make you feel extremely low and you must be anxious with your past history. I hope you have a full thyroid test before an after birth as some post partum problems are due UT! or ear infetions or kidney, and even diabetes. Thyroid and diabetes diseases are closely linked. Sometimes the post partum psychosis can be due to

the sex of the baby which is a hormonal rejection. Some get it badly when carrying a girl - but everyone is different. Hope you might try cutting out some of the unnecessary carbs but might feel better after a few days - so you might think twice about going back on medication.

I didn't have PP after second birth but had definite hormone problems and may be thyroid problems after the first birth which gave rise to a bi polar condition with a serious kidney infection with delirium. Delirium symptoms are now being monitored in our area as so much misdiagnosis can occur with especially elderly folk who may have sepsis rather than dementia. Nowadays PPP is not seen as a post natal medical condition due to puerperal fever but as a pure mental health condition with no reference to thyroid disorder which is common after birth. Suggest you look at Thyroid unlocked website and the list of symptoms

for hypothyroid and see how many boxes you can tick. It is an eye opener!

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I just wanted to say that from what we know from our clinical advisers, that if a woman presents with postpartum psychosis, they should be, and are usually, checked for infections, and also thyroid, and these can be a reason for any psychotic episode. It's really important any possible physical causes of PP is looked into first, and treated.

The causes of PP are still not known, and research is ongoing into the causes of PP. However currently the thinking is that it is a mixture of factors that can cause it (lack of sleep, infection, the psychological impact of having a baby, etc) and will be different for each person.

I hope this is helpful.

Ellie

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I think better screening techniques are available in some but not all areas. Recent research from UK thyroid org shows that bi polar disorder can be linked to thyroid particularly after birth. As you mention infections are treated but with cuts in NHS there have been cases pf puerperal fever untreated post partum infections in the news.

As you know diabetes may be present before birth, but it can be linked to endocrine disorder and post partum depression. Delirium is sometimes unrecognised post partum and gives rise to toxic confused states with delusions and hallucinations and may be missed leading to sepsis.

This can re occur during the menopause. At present women are compartmentalised into mental and physical health when as you say it can be a combination of factors including insomnia. and sleep deprivation. I would suggest that men don't suffer this condition so it has to have a female chemical and hormonal background for post partum

psychosis. It is the after effects of post partum psychosis where women are at a disadvantage as they face their families and friends and feel marginalised by the condition. They may not be able to go back to work, or undertake a training. I beleive the psychological factors may be secondary to the illness, and the symptoms of paranoia and rejection of partners may be due hormonal and physiological factors such as sudden body changes with breast milk.

The psychological impact of the illness may relate to the attitude of those around after birth and the right support. This can be a marriage breaking condition as the partner may not want to know. Let us hope there will be more research into why this happens and the blame being negated and related to peri- natal post natal complications.

May be some drugs may not be applicable and might mask underlying symptoms of a medical condition?

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Are you getting an early epidural. This is in my plan as I can't cope with labour pains. Also just plan for urself to have night help with baby. Try rest as much as you can. I'm at end now wish I had more chance to rest before as pain been on off last few wks

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No plans for an epidural. I have no birth plan, as I was supposed to have the support of a Maternity Mate but that’s not worked out. My husband will do the night feeding for the first year. I’m on holiday this week, then back to work for three weeks until maternity leave.

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Hi Jessi_D, good to hear your update and that you are approaching maternity leave now, but sorry to hear that you haven't had the support of the Maternity Mate. Are you still with the Perinatal Mental Health (PMH) team, can they help you with a birth/ postnatal plan perhaps? I also wanted to share the link to APP's Insider Guide for women at risk of PP: app-network.org/wp-content/...

I know when I was struggling to access any services locally in my 2nd pregnancy, it was good to have this information and also share it with the health professionals who weren't as familiar with PMH as they might have been, as there are no specialist services where I live. As a family we put together a plan which we wrote down and gave to the professionals (some of whom then used it on their own paperwork!) This was helpful in getting it all down on paper; including my history, any triggers, preferences for birth and postnatally and feeling like we were doing what we could to try and prepare. I was lucky to remain well after my 2nd, but "planning for the worst and hoping for the best" was something we found helpful.

I hope you have a lovely holiday and are managing to relax and enjoy these last few weeks; I know how exciting yet potentially stressful it can be having another baby after PP, so if there are any more questions or info we can help with, please don't hesitate to write here. Take care, xx

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I’ve been feeling really low again for the past few days. I just want to eat whatever I want, and the restrictions are really getting to me. I’m often tired and hungry - it seems really cruel to make a heavily pregnant woman diet.

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Hi Jessi_D, sorry to hear you’re feeling low. Pregnancy is definitely a tiring time (more so when you have a little one already and after pp too I think). I can relate to the food thing too, it would make me feel upset too I think. Have you been able to talk to your PMH team, I hope you are getting good support from them? Take care, xx

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How are you, Jessi_D?

I hope you have some good support in place such as the PMH team, and possibly other professional help in order to guide and inform and to cover your needs. It is good to talk.

We are here to listen!

Look after yourself.

Kind wishes and sending you a hug and a :-)

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Thanks for your responses! I called up the PMH team and spoke to a nurse who was helpful in the absence of my family (my husband and mum were at work).

I’ve been feeling better since the weekend. Next week will be my last week in the office, so I’m really looking forward to focussing more on preparing for the baby’s arrival and getting plenty of rest.

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Hi. I’ve only just seen this. I had gestational diabetes in my first oregancy and this time it came back early at 5 weeks and I was incredibly low with the diagnosis. I’m over the low mood of diagnosis now at 27 weeks now the end is in sight but I totally get how you feel. For me it was the added worry of the complications but if you have a good diabetic team around you for support it helps. Are you in the UK. The website gestationaldiabetes UK is fab and I’ve been in the Facebook group gestational diabetes UK mums for over two years and it’s so supportive- not read the full thread sorry if someone has already suggested this but I chat in there regularly and the admins will answer a lot of your worries. Xxx

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Having had two pregnancies with gd if you have any questions ask away I’ve researched it a lot can’t say I can answer everything I’m not a medical expert but have been there

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They will also accept people to the support group outside the UK if you are my cousin in New Zealand had it and they added her

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Hello Jessi,

I am pleased you are feeling better and it is great to focus on some "nesting". I remember it, too.

Great that you managed to talk to a nurse. It is good to open up the lid and talk about your feelings. Sometimes having a one to one can be very beneficial.

Look after yourself.

:-)

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I’m really angry today. A care plan from PMH team came in the post and it’s written a load of shite about me and sent it to everyone - my GP, health visitor etc They should stick to the facts and not over exaggerate!!!

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Hello Jessi,

How are you today?

Maybe you could talk to an appropriate professional, somebody you trust and feel at ease with, in order to bring across your view point of further recovery and stepping stones.

I wonder whether you could suggest in writing to the community mental health team that you want to be involved in the care plan, as you disagree with the content.

I always discussed my care plan together with my care coordinator, thus always new how to continue with "self management" and thus, knew my path of recovery focusing on therapeutic aspects. I usually was referred via the mental health team to courses such as group therapy, peer support, art therapy etc.

Wishing you well.

x

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This was not the care plan I created, it’s a different one that the hospital have put together using their template. They didn’t give me an opportunity to review it before they sent it out. Today I spoke to the nurse who wrote it and we’ve made amendments so that it is accurate, and she’ll re-distribute.

I had a good day today! I’ve had really low energy lately, but had much more today so I was more productive.

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Hello again,

I am so pleased that you had a good day and that you were able to talk to the nurse.

Well done for making those important amendments.

Wishing you a good night

x

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Hello Jessi_D

I hope you are managing to stay cool and relaxed in this hot weather. Take care.

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Hi Lilybeth,

It’s 30 degrees in the shade here so I’ve just had a cool bath and have a fan on to keep me cool as I dry off. I’m booked in for an induction this Wednesday, due to the size of the baby. I’m really looking forward to finding out if it’s a boy or a girl!

My mood has been good lately, I’m now taking lithium and haloperidol to keep me well once baby arrives. Fingers crossed this will work, alongside my husband doing the night feeding.

I can’t wait to eat ice cream once this baby is born and I have the all clear for gestational diabetes!!!

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Hi Jessi_D

Thanks so much for taking the time to update ..... what an exciting week ahead !! Really pleased your mood has been good lately. Wishing you all the best for Wednesday .. great plan for your husband to do the night feeds so you can rest. We'll be thinking of you .. :)

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Hi Jessi_D

Wishing you the very best for tomorrow! I hope all goes well, very exciting :)

Will be thinking of you.

Jenny x

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Hi everyone, my baby girl was born on Sunday afternoon. I had to have an emergency c section because she turned breech during the induction. She is perfect and I’m recovering slowly.

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Congratulations Jessi_D!

Thank you for sharing your news. Look after yourself.

Jenny x

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Congratulations Jessi_D :) on the birth of your baby girl. Good to hear you are recovering slowly with your second bundle of joy. Take care. x

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Congratulations! I hope you can rest up and all goes well for your family. We are thinking of you. Take care, xx

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Wonderful news Jessi_D!!!

Look after yourself and congratulations to you and welcome baby-girl :-)

x

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I’ve just been diagnosed with postnatal depression. It’s very mild right now, the doctor is concerned about it getting much worse. I have many of the symptoms which suck. I hope I can get myself better by taking exercise and getting out more. I feel sleepy during the day so don’t really feel like going out much.

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Hello Jessi

How awful that you have been diagnosed with postnatal depression after all the excitement of the birth of your baby. I'm glad it's only mild right now but even so it's not what you need. After my second PP I had a major depressive disorder with psychotic features and just felt helpless and hopeless. Everything was a real effort and the days were endless.

I think exercise and getting out more in the fresh air is a good idea as it should lift your mood. Keeping a diary of how you feel can also be useful, e.g. emoji faces, to chart how you feel. This will also be good for your doctor to see as it will give him an idea of your ups and downs. Take care.

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Thank you Lilybeth, I tend to avoid writing as this is a sign of hypomania for me. I’m feeling good today as baby has had lots of sleep which has given me a break, my husband is working from home, and I had a short call with my Mum this afternoon.

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Hello Jessi

Good to hear from you .... sorry my suggestion about writing wasn't the right thing to say. I'm glad you have had a break today while your baby slept. I think having family support is comforting when you need someone to lean on at times. Take good care ... sending you a hug :) xx

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Hello Jessi,

it is quite difficult to manage life when feeling low. I need to take good care of myself, especially when stress levels are high, because 'I juggle and loose the occasional ball or loads...' when triggers come my way... the following does help;

- as Lilybeth mentioned journalising and tracking down your feelings

- walking or cycling...and I do that quite regularly

- meditation in any form whether it is walking meditation, just sitting, focusing on the mindfulness of breathing...you can download some pretty good apps by just typing in meditation music or practise

- I watch comedy on Netflix...I love international films

- regular yoga practise

- obviously we are all at different stages in our lives and/or recovery, but pursuing a hobby and/or volunteering has helped me over the years

- painting and/or colouring in

- pets are very therapeutic (my old cat knows me best :-)

- learning something new

There is so much more, but obviously trying to connect with other people is very important...talking and communicating really can be uplifting, if together with a soulmate, a good friend and/or support group and/or peer support... you already found this forum...it was a great start for me to delve deeper into understanding, relating, belonging and being finally listened to...

Thinking of you, take care

:-)

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Hi Jasa, thanks for all your ideas x

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Hi Jessi_D, sorry to hear you have had a diagnosis of postnatal depression. I can understand how you feel about this, especially after PP and all the things you were putting in place to try and remain well after your little one's arrival. I hope that this week is going OK for you so far. Little things each day helped me, and trying not to expect too much of myself, then almost a little celebration of the small things (getting out for a walk, spending time with a friend etc) helped for me. Take care, we are all thinking of you and wishing you well. xx

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Hello Jessi_D

I hope you have been ok since your post recently. Just take things slowly and try to rest as much as you can. Thinking of you .... take care.

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Thanks Lilybeth, I’m still struggling a little bit with the passage of time. Finding it hard to keep occupied and am bored. Maybe I should just accept that being a stay at home Mum is boring :-/

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Hello Jessi_D

Good to hear from you. The sedating effect of medication was a struggle for me, expecting too much of myself in the early days. I think you were so busy at work that a lot has changed now and things are going at a slower pace, especially while being depressed.

Perhaps if the weather's not too cold you might take your daughter and son out to meet a friend for coffee and catch up? Having company and help around the house as well is a good way to pass the time. When you feel a bit stronger you might meet other mums at a baby massage class or yoga for yourself. Take care .... a step at a time for now.

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I don’t think I’m sedated, just terribly miserable looking after baby and would rather be trying to sleep. I agree that there is an adjustment to pace of life after work, but I didn’t feel like this when I was on maternity leave while pregnant. I don’t have any friends to meet up with for a coffee, but I have a friendly neighbour who would meet up but she is on holiday. I would love company and help around the house but I don’t have anyone. I’m attending baby massage classes but they aren’t helping - last week she vomited all over me. I go swimming on a Saturday morning which is nice (if a little lonely) but it’s not improving how I feel about looking after baby.

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Good morning Jessi_D,

feeling low and lonely is not an easy combination.

Even though I was still on medication when recovering from PPP I had my little outings such as play groups and baby massage. I did not want to go out nor did I want to meet people, but was encouraged by my partner and full time carer at the time.

I thought I was going to be healthy within a year after completing my medication, but I have been re-living ups and downs for many years now. I guess the experience of recovering from PPP is of a different kind than struggling with another diagnosis...mine is not depression, but bi-polar.

I just can highlight again dear Jessi, that whatever choice you take it is within your capacity. Only you know whether you are ready on how much you want to take on board. You are in your early stages of recovery and have experienced a lot...I just can say that stepping stones are vital in order to move on...to build a buffer zone for life events and routines (coping strategies).

Over the years I increased my social circle gradually and in moderation. You know, in my opinion we are having to understand our transition and continuous changes of role positioning, but we always will be a mum.

Your skills before motherhood will be reinforced and re-used in different ways. I am calling it re-inventing, re-born in a sense after Psychosis. I have said good bye to my past, and move on...I am still me, but different...when people say I am back to normal...this is in my eyes not possible, we are continuously changing and "normal" is just a view point of a normed society, a perception.

Be kind to yourself, that is how I found strengths ...the momentums are very special for me, especially when together with my son and partner.

Thinking of you (yoga, meditation, journalising and talking therapy with kind people helps when I am poorly)

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I’m still taking 2.5mg haloperidol with lithium (to prevent PPP) and I’m wondering if this is causing the difficulty i.e. feeling tired and mildly zombified. It felt today like I’m recovering from a mental illness, really not myself and not thriving in my new role as Mum.

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Hello Jessi_D

Good to hear from you. I can totally understand how you feel as when I was depressed all I wanted was to stay in bed and sleep! So even though it might be a bit lonely going swimming, at least you are challenging your depression which is more than I did for a while. It's only been ten days since you posted you were diagnosed with depression so perhaps the medication needs a little more time to kick in? Try not to worry, your maternal instinct is in tact but just hidden by your depression.

I'm not sure if you have a Home-Start group local to you but they do offer support around the home and someone to visit. There's a link home-start.org.uk/mental-he... with a mum sharing her story of postnatal depression and how she was helped. Your local library might also have info on groups meeting there and your GP might have baby clinics where you could meet new mums.

Try not to worry .... your maternal instinct is intact but just hidden by your depression. It's a big hurdle to get over but you will get there. Please don't judge yourself too harshly as you are trying so hard to be well for your family. We are here for you in the meantime ... take care.

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I haven’t been given any medication for depression. The medication I have started before the birth and it is to prevent PPP. It resonates when you say about wanting to sleep all day. There is no Home Start in my area.

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Thank you Jessi ..... I wasn't closely monitored or given medication before my second son was born so that might be an indication of why PP hit me again a long time ago. I do remember that overwhelming feeling of being helpless and hopeless at motherhood but as you know PP mums are fighters, as you are yourself, and in our own way we do get there in the end.

I'm sorry there's no Home Start in your area. Your Health Visitor might also be able to arrange help at home for you. There is also the PANDAS (pre and postnatal depression advice and support) group who offer local support so you might find help and support at pandasfoundation.org.uk. as they have been mentioned on the forum before.

Take care. I hope your medication keeps PP away and your mood will lift with the good medical care you have in place.

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Thinking of you, Jessi. Hope you will have a good day. Stepping stones without expectations and concentrating on the moment was my way forward on my path of recovery.

Look after yourself and hope you find some activities within you locality...it is always good to be able to set yourself a routine and journalise...

Kind wishes,

Sabine

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I feel really anxious from time to time. I feel like I’m a terrible parent and not cut out for this at all! I feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake having another baby! I feel so guilty for saying that as she is so precious and my husband deserves so much better than me. Maybe it’s just a really hard job that I’m not cut out for. Maybe I’m too selfish?

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Hi Jessi_D

Try not to be so hard on yourself ...... you are going through depression where everything looks grey! Have you been for a review with your doctor about your anxiety? Please give yourself time. I had similar feelings of being a bad mother after my second PP but it was just my illness and depression trying to drag me down.

Perhaps you could also ask your doctor about the medication, haloperidol and lithium, helping to prevent PP but making you feel tired. You're a great mum battling depression and the side effects of medication so try and rest as much as you can. Take care.

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Hello Jessi_D,

it is a difficult time when feeling low. I hope that you can get further support and advise. I believe in your case haloperidol and lithium probably needs to be further discussed & evaluated by professionals involved.

My meds had to change on numerous occasion. In addition quite a few experts were involved in order to figure out what was best for me at the time. Check and balance and 2nd opinion helped me to recover from PPP. Haloperidol was replaced with Lorazepam and then Risperidone.

I wonder whether you could record & track down how you feel on a daily basis just in brief. I remember the mornings I felt particularly drowsy and the haloperidol was then moved to the evening...whatever you dot down would help your GP to assess and evaluate...

I believe the type of drugs and combination of side effects need to be closely monitored. If you keep record it might be easier to explain to your GP and/or Psychiatrist.

I just recollect from my experience and obviously the traditional drugs helped me to get out of my "bubble", meaning I came out on the other end.

Do you have somebody to talk to who can be like your mentor. I sometimes was so poorly that my partner had to talk to the appropriate professionals.

Thinking of you,

x

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Hello Jessi_D

Just wondering how you have been today? I hope your doctor might be able to help and reassure you. It might be hard to believe right now but you will eventually feel better once the depression has lifted. Take care.

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I spent the whole day in bed while my husband looked after the baby. I’m not well at all.

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I'm sorry to hear you're not well Jessi_D. Can you call your out of hours GP tonight or ask for a home visit tomorrow? Take care and have a good rest.

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Hi jessi I’m so sorry you’re feeling down. I had depression after pp, it was so debilitating and I thought I was an awful mum too, but you’re not, you’re just not well at the mo and need a bit of support.

I hope you can contact your mental health team supporting you and get the support you need.

Thinking of you

Ellie x

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I’ve been prescribed citalopram and referred to the MBU who don’t have beds at the moment. I’ll have someone from the Home Treatment Team visit me at home each day until a bed becomes available.

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Hi Jessi_D

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low at the moment. That’s good news your medication has been reviewed and you’ve got someone coming in every day until there’s a bed at the MBU. With the right support I’m sure you’ll soon be feeling much better.

Take care, we’re all thinking of you.

Jenny x

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Hello Jessi_D

This must be such a stressful time for you. Good to hear that you now have the support you need. I was looked after by the Home Treatment Team as my first son was six at the time. I hope you won't have too long to wait before a bed is available in the MBU but I think daily monitoring is helpful for now.

Try to rest and I hope you will slowly feel better when the new medication takes effect.

Thinking of you ..... take care ... you must feel exhausted.

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Hi Jessi_D, hope that today is going ok, and that the MBU bed becomes available soon for you. Take care, we are all thinking of you. Xx

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Hello Jessi_D

I hope you are ok and finding the Home Treatment Team's support helpful. I can remember commenting there were too many people in the house when they were caring for me!

Do you have any idea how much longer you will have to wait for a bed to become available in the MBU? Take good care and rest as much as you can .... we are all thinking of you and sending a virtual hug :)

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Hi Jessi_D

I hope your change in medication is helping and your week has been ok. I hope you have some news about the MBU bed soon and that you are being well supported in the meantime.

Take good care.

Jenny x

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Thinking of you, too Jessi. Hope you have been allocated an MBU place.

Take good care.

x

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The doctor increased sertraline to 50mg and I’m starting to feel a little better. My husband is giving me lots of rest at the weekend. I’m still under the care of the home treatment team, so hopefully MBU admission won’t be needed.

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Hi Jessi_D

I’m so glad you’re starting to feel a little better and are being well supported. That’s great you’re getting good rest at the weekend, it’s so important.

Take good care.

Jenny x

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Hello Jessi_D

Good to hear you are feeling a little better. It's great that you're able to have lots of rest at weekends and I hope the continuing care of the Home Treatment Team will be reassuring and helpful. Thinking of you .... take care.

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Hello Jessi_D

I hope you are slowly improving. Take your time and have a good rest this weekend with the good support of your husband. We are all thinking of you.

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I feel like I don’t want to look after my baby anymore. Does this mean I have attachment/bonding issues?

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Hi Jessi_D, good to hear from you although I’m sorry to hear that things are still tough. Have you been able to talk to anyone about how you feel? Perhaps someone from the home treatment team could help and find you some more support to look after your baby? In my experience (& of course I’m not medically trained at all, just a mum who has also been unwell) not wanting to look after your baby can be more about being poorly rather than any particular issues with bonding or attachment. Getting some help with this and being honest about how you feel will hopefully help you as a family. Was the MBU admission something that now isn’t needed or do you feel it might help? I can understand that being at home in familiar surroundings and with your husband too is sometimes needed though.

I hope things start to get better soon, take care, xx

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I don’t know about admission to MBU but the Home Treatment Team seems like the best for me. Especially as my husband does night feeding.

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Hello Jessi_D

Good to hear from you. I'm sorry you are having such feelings but I think it's all part of your depression. Have you talked to the Home Treatment Team about how you feel? Perhaps it might be helpful if you could go into a mother and baby unit so that you can receive specialist care and time to 'get to know' your baby. Is that still an option for you?

Try not to worry Jessi-D you have been bonding, although baby massage didn't go too well when baby was sick all over you! When I was depressed after PP with my second son everything was an effort and it took me a while to come back from that. So lean on all the support around you, let the care team know how you are feeling so that they can find the best way forward to help. Speak to your mum as I'm sure she will understand or your friendly neighbour you talked about earlier. It's just the awful depression holding you back but you will feel better when it loses its grip on you. Take care.

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Hello Jessi_D

I think you probably just need to relax and not expect too much of yourself. As I mentioned before I was supported by the Home Treatment Team as there were no MBUs at the time and made a full recovery. With your husband's great support at night and the Home Treatment Team's input you will slowly begin to have better days. Take care.

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Hello Jessi_D

I hope you are taking things easy with the help of your husband and the Home Treatment Team. Thinking of you .... take care.

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I’ve just secured a nursery place for my daughter on Monday, so I can go back to work. This will be good for my wellbeing.

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Hi Jessi_D

That's good to hear you are going back to work and I hope that everything will be in place to support you there. Please be sure that you're not returning too soon. I know for me there was a feeling of wanting to show family and friends that I was back on my feet and pushed myself to be well. You have been through so much but at least PP did not return which must be a relief. :) Take care.

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Hello Jessi,

I hope you are doing fine?! Whatever steps you take, it is because you want to do it for yourself and not to please anybody else or trying to fulfil expectations.

I am astonished about a lot of mums on this site, who seem to pick up the pieces of their traumatic illness and move on within a short period of time. Some are fine, some will have to experience that their tolerance level for stressful situations have been reduced quite drastically and then need to recharge their batteries and accept to tackle life in stepping stones, - as it is in my case.

Whatever your path,

I am wishing you well and hope you have a support network in place at home and work.

Good luck,

:-)

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I’m doing fine except anxious about putting the baby in nursery. I’m worried I’ll be under occupied without the baby and I’ll really miss her.

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Hello Jessi_D

I think it will be an anxious moment putting the baby in nursery, which is all part of the loving bond you have with her. It's natural you will miss her so perhaps you will need to weigh up any effect this will have on your anxiety. Take care.

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Willow has settled really well into nursery. I’m struggling with not having anything to do. I hope I can return to work soon!

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Hi Jessi_D

So pleased for you that your daughter has settled really well into nursery. Perhaps it's time to treat yourself while you have the chance before returning to work .... just relax and enjoy some 'me' time to celebrate how well you are doing. :) x

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Hello Jessi,

yes, a bit of 'me time' is very important.

I usually paint, love gardening, walking the dog and yoga.

In fact yoga helps me with my anxiety. I am extremely sensitive and do not like mingling with too many people or often avoid confronting new environments.

However, yoga is part of my self management strategy. Mindfulness of breathing has helped me a lot over the years. Meditation is amazing...

I remember cut off times with my son and how difficult it was for me to let go, such as nursery nurse or reception year. My son always has been very resilient!

Letting go is important as it helps with meta cognition meaning self reflection...finding yourself after a traumatic illness is like taking layers of yourself, … in my case I rejuvenated on many levels, managed to let go and always tried to focus on the hear and now...

Look after yourself,

remember you are unique and all in stepping stones (I avoid comparing and try to be none-judgmental)

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Hello Jessi_D

I hope you managed to have some time to yourself while your daughter is settling into nursery, before you return to work. Take care.

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Hello Jessi_D

Just wondering how you are and if you have returned to work. I hope things are going well for you. Take care.

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Hi Lilybeth,

I’m feeling good thanks. I’ve high creatinine levels and my lithium level is too low so I need to see a renal physician for tests on my kidney and need to increase my lithium dose. I’m not back at work yet, feeling really impatient now. I met with Occupational Health on the request of my manager, they produced a report which disclosed a lot of sensitive information about my medical history and ‘tendency for mood disturbance’ - they sent this straight to me, my manager and HR. The report says I’m fit for work, they just need to give me time off for medical appointments and not stress me out. But I haven’t heard from my manager since he got the report last Friday. I don’t want to contact him as I don’t want him to think I’m impatient. I can’t wait to go back to work as I’m spending too much on shopping and manicures. I also really need to earn money to pay for my daughters nursery! I just need to relax and enjoy my time off, easier said than done :)

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Hey! I have bipolar my drugs put me at risk of gestational diabetes I’ve had it in both pregnancies second one (she’s 11 weeks) I got it at 5 weeks pregnant and I’ve had 2 very healthy sugar babies! It’s totally manageable don’t get me wrong it really lowered my mood having it from 5 weeks but if I can do it so can you! There is an amazing amazing lady called jo Paterson who went on from having GD to promoting awareness and setting up a support group I’m still in the group now following other mums journeys and trying to help out. The website is gestationaldiabetes.co.uk and her Facebook support group is gestational diabetes uk mums. Her dietary advice kept my blood sugar numbers far better than I could have imagined she has created all sorts of wonderful recipes she’s amazing. If you have any worries specifically I can see if I can help with just what I learned from having it myself. You will be okay- it takes a while to get your head around but it’s not something to be frightened of xxx

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Oh I’m sorry this is an old thread it just popped up sorry!

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Not to worry Becci, I think your reply will be very helpful to Jessi_D. The thread is still active as she is kindly sharing her recovery ......

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Hi Jessi_D

Good to hear that you are feeling good. I hope you won't have to wait too long to see a renal physician. I'm glad OH have made it clear that you should have time off for medical appointments and not be stressed out. I hope your manager will be a little more considerate when you return. Take care .... enjoy you time at home while you can :)

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