Pp and diagnose: I’ve just given birth... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis

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Pp and diagnose

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I’ve just given birth pregnancy journey fine, healthy fit person no history of depression illnesses. Good birth with baby hospital stay fine due to being early and having jaundice. Didn’t have no problems giving birth and found easy birth. No medical problems whilst in hospital or complications. No problems out of blue after 3 weeks then settled then at week 5 got depressed acted distance away from partner and then developed seeing things. Never harm my baby but see things on her. I’m currently sitting at a mental health unit going to be assessed. Scared by what read about tablets as want to go back to normal but heard might not take effect. Just never had support or no one to talk to thru after giving birth. Hopefully talking about it may help just read can take years sometimes.

23 Replies
Twobabies profile image
TwobabiesVolunteer

Hello, well done for sharing and seeking help during this difficult time. I hope the assessment goes well. I would recommend sharing your fears about medication or any other fears with the professionals and I’m sure they can help put your mind at ease. I’m not sure where or what you read about medication not taking effect but as I understand medication is really impactful and successful part of making people well again. I had Postpartum psychosis in 2018 and experienced a few times seeing things that were not there, I was paranoid and had delusions. I made a full recovery and yes was on medication for a year but the dose was not always high so it was reduced as I recovered. I’m really pleased to hear you getting help, it’s so horrible to be unwell and really scary but thankfully there are so many professionals to help get you back to full health and support you to look after your baby. It’s great to hear you have an awareness of what you see as not being there. Ppp can come out of the blue with no reason. Lack of sleep and stress can contribute as well as hormones. All the best for your assessment and getting the help you need. Keep in touch. X

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Hidden in reply to Twobabies

Just been assessed am getting people come out to me to see how going to get one over next few days and then assess what therapy I need so least it getting sorted feel so eased that I told someone like a huge relief. Need to start chatting more and try get out . Hope medication works too and try get some support of people. Thanks for your reply. X

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPAdministrator

Hi Skyblue7,

Firstly congratulations on the birth of your baby girl. But I am sorry to hear you’re feeling poorly at the moment. I’m so so pleased you’re getting help and currently being supported though.

I had Postpartum Psychosis in 2016 (not sure if that’s a diagnosis that has been mentioned to you or not). I was assessed and started taking medication that was prescribed. At first I was very very scared as I didn’t think the medication would work either. But it did. And by talking with the health professionals around me and to my family, I got the help I needed. And I got better.

Try not to worry about how long it might take to get better. Just take each day as it comes. And trust the health professionals around you to support you.

Write here anytime, there are so many of us here who can offer words of compassion, support and encouragement. There are no daft questions, just know you’re amongst a very supportive bunch here.

Just a super well done for getting help early. That’s brilliant.

Take care,

Rachel x

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Hidden in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Yes that’s what been diagnosed with. Mentioned that I breast feed and dramatically went from all feeds to 2feeds a day on breast and hear that this could of caused getting this. Now heard from 3 people. Never mind hopefully the help will get will work and I take day by day anyways as I always overthink. Want to go back to enjoying my baby and partner again and feel normal

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPAdministrator in reply to Hidden

Glad that you’ve got a diagnosis quickly by the sound of it. I know being poorly is horrid, but getting a diagnosis is good - as you now have access to support and help to get better. I hope the medication starts to work well soon.

I don’t know if you’ve found our guides on the Action on Postpartum Psychosis website. They were all written by women like you and me who got poorly with PP. I found them really helpful when I was poorly. There is one for partners too, which might be useful to your partner? You can read the guides here: app-network.org/what-is-pp/...

I remember feeling just like you, I desperately wanted to get back to normal, and feel better. It’ll be ok. Are you at home with your partner and baby? I hope you’re being well taken care of.

Sending hugs.

Rachel x

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Hidden in reply to Rachel_at_APP

Yes went home with partner and baby but had bad night. Having them come out for next 3 days to assess me. Bu they said talk with family that’s the thing my family won’t understand and my mum the one that would as she has depression would go round telling everyone which I don’t want. His family go in competition to see who’s the best with there babies which I also don’t want and can’t chat to them as it gets round the whole family and do t wanna be talked about. It felt wonderful telling the people at the centre but haven’t go no where to chat to. Just feel so lonely atm.

Rachel_at_APP profile image
Rachel_at_APPAdministrator in reply to Hidden

Morning Skyblue7,

Sorry you had a bad night. Are you struggling to sleep?

Sorry you feel you can’t share what’s going on with your family. I hope you’re ok confiding in your partner. But I can appreciate how lonely you must feel in this. Know that we’re here for you. Although I know that’s no substitute for a cup of tea and a hug.

Are you in the UK? The reason I ask is that when I was at home but under the care of professionals I had a written piece of paper with lots of phone numbers. One of them was what they called a 24 hour crisis line that I could phone anytime I needed to. It was so good having that and knowing I could reach people who could help anytime.

At your next appointment can you ask about this maybe? And see if there is any more support for you if you feel you need it? I imagine there are people visiting once a day over the next three days? Be super honest with them about you’re feeling. It sounds like you already have been and that it helped as you said it felt wonderful which is so good.

Sorry you feel lonely. Are you able to do anything nice at home with your baby girl to help distract you? Maybe put on some relaxing music? Have a bath maybe? So sorry you feel lonely in this. It’s a horrible illness, but please know we’re all here for you too.

Rachel x

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Hidden in reply to Rachel_at_APP

I’m in the uk. Yes the people coming over today waiting there call. We don’t have a bath I would so love one have shower only. I don’t really interact with baby due to the hallucinations which is a shame. It not her fault. All the groups are sold out due to covid restrictions so can’t even go meet people. So happy I can vent in here.

Hi Skyblue7.

So sorry to hear you're going through a horrid time at the moment. I had PPP in 2013 three months after the birth of my daughter. It is great you have recognised you are poorly and are getting help. I had no idea I was so poorly, neither did my family. It was a good 3 months before I got the help I so desperately needed.

Talking and time are the greatest healers. And the professionals will decide the best medication to take.

Like someone else said, it is very effective and usually they will gradually lower the dose when you and the doctors feel the time is right.

I wish you all the best and you will get through this nightmare. Always here if you need a chat. Take care. Anna x 🙂

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi Skyblue7,

So brave of you to have seek out support so early, I wish I had had your self-awareness when I was struck with pp in 2018.

I know it can be a scary time, but medication, rest and time work wonders. Pp is very recoverable, you will go back to feeling like yourself again, take it one step at the time and be honest with those supporting you, the more information the better.

Getting help from those around you is very important don't hesitate on asking when you need it.

Big hugs from a distance, write here for any questions or anything you want to share, it does help when you realise you are not alone, by far you are not

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Hidden in reply to EmiMum

Thanks again like wrote above have no support my family would go round telling everyone and not understand and his family go in competition with each over who has best kids and things which I don’t need. Helps to tell people but just haven’t the support I need. My partner now understand but can’t do everything he needs time out to. Just hoping tablets work and when come of them do t go back like it

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to Hidden

Hi Skyblue7,

I am so sorry to hear about your family being unhelpful. Try and distance yourself from not so helpful input and try and focus on the positives on how your husband is understanding more and more things from your perspective. Rest is so very important so try and sleep as much as you can. A relaxed bath before bed, some hot cocoa, relaxing music, anything that would help you wind down and get ready to sleep, is very very beneficial.

The medication may take some days to build up in your system so you may not feel the effect right away. I found this the most difficult to accept, but once the meds started working it, it made the world of difference to me.

Take good care and we are always here to chat when you need to

Xx

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Hidden in reply to EmiMum

I try so much for sleep but also have anxiety about her sleeping and check on her constantly which I’m aware of. I try a lot to sleep. Someone else said music so I’m trying that to relax more. I spend so much time on phone and anything else to avoid my baby. I make sure she fed and clothed each day. As said hoping meds sort me out. Just don’t want to be seen as the loopy woman.

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer in reply to Hidden

No my dear, you are not the loopy woman. This is an illness, that most of the mums in this forum have also gone through. You are going to come through the other side, and far stronger for it. You have done everything perfectly, you were well aware of your own state of mind, you sought help out, which is the bravest thing you could have done, and you are doing everything to get better.A million hugs to you, try and give the phone a rest this afternoon, if you can. There is no need to reply here, just focus on your rest at the moment which is the most important, baby I promise you will be OK.

xxx

AlexandraJay profile image
AlexandraJayVolunteer

Hello there,

Hope you're as well as can be.

This is just temporary and they will find you the right medication to help at this time. It is simply an imbalance of hormones and chemicals and the medication will address this. Don't be afraid. We've all been where you are and have come out of this stronger and wiser so please don't worry too much.

Sending love and will keep you in my prayers. God bless.

Alexandra Hill

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Hidden in reply to AlexandraJay

I’m just worried will take tablets and when wanna come of them go back to seeing things and resenting my baby again ..

Hello lovely SkyLet me echo what these other amazing ladies have said already. You're incredibly brave to recognise you are not well atm and I'm so glad help is at hand.

Taking your medication and trying to sleep is so so important.

I had ppp in 2019 but am no longer on medication. Build up a good support network in your own time and you CAN get better.

You're doing so well. Reach out when you need to

Take care

Ailania x

Hidden profile image
Hidden

Hi so today I’ve woken up normal I’ve just been reading about reducing breastfeeding to quick seems massive coincidence that two weeks ago I dropped from all feeds on breast to 2 in 24 hours with bottle, I’ve just read about people that did this and ended up crashing hormones that lead to suicidal thoughts, harming baby, feeling nothing towards baby and partner and hallucinations. Exactly what I’m feeling. I’ve woken up today with everything gone I feel myself this is two weeks exact to when I stopped the breastfeeding. Now today I’m seeing phychiatrists thinking I’m mental and don’t really wanna go on tablets if it was down to reducing feeds. After reading a lot I can’t believe these breast feeding places don’t say about your hormones crashing to the point of such dangerous outcomes they just promote how great it is.

I am going to speak to them today when I get assessed again. Am feeling much better today and all the people on here are lovely.

EmiMum profile image
EmiMumVolunteer

Hi Skyblue7,

I hope that the visit from the doctors went well today. It can all be a bit overwhelming at the moment with so many changes. I think the best advice is to be honest with your medical team, as you have been so far, they can discuss and advice you on all possible avenues for treatment.

Take good care. I am glad you woke up feeling better today.

I'm sorry to hear this has been your journey. It looks like you have had plenty of replies and support. I won't read them all, as I have to be mindful not to over stimulate myself as I'm on a healing journey too. I hope you find the La Leche League advice useful around BF. Postnatal Depression can tip over to PP but as we know it's rare. I'm not sure about the direct correlation of causation if PP, around the ceasing of BF and PP.

However what La leche league do state and this confirms my experience too is that if you experience pain when BF and difficulty feeding, that can cause postnatal depression (PND). If this PND is not addressed it can obviously worsen and at the end of the PND scale is PP. It's probably explained better in the article attached but I wasn't sure how clear it was. I hope you get the support you need. You did the right thing to reach out to APP community, it can be a very isolating experience and sometimes we push our loved ones away to protect them, others and ourselves (often without even realising we are doing it). So it's great you have the insight that you did that with your partner.

I wish you all the best in your journey to health. We are all here for you and your partner. Take care xx

Twobabies profile image
TwobabiesVolunteer

Dear Skyblue7, good to read all your updates and here you woke up feeling improved. I’m glad you will be seeing the medical team soon. I’ve no doubt that hormones and changes related to stopping breastfeeding can contribute to have PPP. But as you recognise having hallucinations is horrible and impacting on your life. This is a horrible illness and like any illness treatment required to get over it. Talk to the psychiatrist and your health team about any fears you have around meds. They definitely played a massive part in my recovery from Ppp. And I do remember having moments while still really unwell when I felt safe and better but then it started again unfortunately. Recovery will be quicker if you stick to your doctors recommend plan. There is no shame in needing meds ever, this is a medical crisis like that of any other part of the body. It is remarkable you are managing all these symptoms at home. Take the rest and support you need. I’m not sure if going to a mother and baby unit is an option for you, but one of the great things about them is they allow you to get much needed rest while knowing there are people to help support you and help care for your baby in anyway you feel helps. Also might be good if your family not very helpful or supportive. So many women have had this dreadful illness and recovered to full health and you will too but it is a journey and treatment part of that. Take care you sending lots of positive support and healing. Best x

Lilybeth profile image
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Hidden

I hope the visit by the doctors went well and you have been reassured that you will have better days. Thinking of you ... take care.

Pikorua profile image
PikoruaVolunteer

I am thinking of you and hope you are safe. I have been following your recent conversation with the mums on our forum.

I felt once so terrible lost and struggled for a very long time, but found this website and felt so cushioned & deep down safe again to express my deepest emotions. Initially I wrote like you via group talk and then I decided to have peer support on a one to one. This was 5 yrs after PPP as I struggled with undiagnosed Bipolar.

We are always here in the background, and can hear your voice without being judgmental.

Like Lilybeth and all the other mums, we are thinking of you...xxx

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