Real or not: I'm lost not sure which... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Real or not

Bloody62
Bloody62

I'm lost not sure which way to turn I don't trust anyone and I don't want what's going on in my head to be true when will I be ok

9 Replies
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Ellie_at_APP
Ellie_at_APPAdministrator

Hi Bloody62

Welcome to the forum, it’s so good you have found us.

I’m Ellie, I had postpartum psychosis in 2011. I felt like you did, not sure what was real or not, and it was so hard to trust anyone.

You are going to get better and come through this.

Do you have support? Are you in hospital or at home? Try to reach out to those around you and tell people how you feel and get help if you haven’t already, you could contact your GP or midwife.

Thinking of you, take care

Ellie xx

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Bloody62

I'm sorry to hear your distress and hope you can let your family know how you are feeling, so that they can get help for you.

Perhaps you could ring your GP's out of hours service for a doctor to visit, or ring the Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org as they are there to talk 24 /7? When I had psychosis I was suspicious of everyone but in time you will be able to trust again. Take care.

Revans86
Revans86Volunteer

Hi Bloody62,

Hope you’re ok. I had lots of confusing and scary thoughts. I too struggled to know what was real or not. Well done for reaching out here at such a tough time.

As Ellie and Lilybeth said, there are people you can phone for help and who can help you feel better again like you want to. Sending hugs, it’ll be ok. Xxx

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Bloody62

I hope by now you have found support to help with your thoughts and feelings. Thinking of you, take care.

I hope you have found the right help, I was like that too at the start of the year , a few weeks after my episode I was so unsure of what was happening and suspicious of everyone, I thought my own family was out to get me and I broke down in front of them, my sister was like “hello? Its me, your sister!” After that she was with me a lot of the time after and helped me to get over that dark period, and then slowly I forced myself to go outdoors, I was so scared and got panic attacks and would avoid shopping centres and trains, right up until a few months ago. . I am now on anti depressants for my anxiety which for me is working because I feel a lot better as time goes on.. I can drive alone which is a huge confidence boost for me, go on walks with my baby, visit family, and do the usual stuff I like to do...which is amazing because I was in such a dark place after my birth n ppp I never thought I’d feel “normal” again. Still struggling in a lot of aspects because I’m a new mum but I’m doing a lot better than the initial birth weeks. Please seek help, and remember this phase is temporary, tell yourself you will get better, and remember that you were given the gift of your baby because you are a strong mum and you can do it , and you will get better *hugs*

Pikorua
PikoruaVolunteer

How are you, Bloody 62?

When poorly this forum has helped me a lot. There is no judging, only listening.

Mums are very helpful on here. When I was feeling so extremely lost and suffering for a long time I was so pleased to let go of my guards once I reached compassion including one to one support with this APP forum.

I hope you will have found support by now. Thinking of you.

x

Hi Bloody62,

I too felt like this. I thought everyone was out to get me, thought my loving husband was cheating on me and wanted me to move out. I heard conversations that weren’t actually happening, voices coming from my baby monitor. So much more than I can even write. You need rest. Open up to your obgyn and take the antidepressants. This doesn’t last forever but it feels like it will.

Jenny_at_APP
Jenny_at_APPAdministrator

Hello Bloody62

I hope you’ve managed to get some support since you posted. It’s so hard not knowing who to trust and what’s real and not, I too remember how very confused I was when I was unwell, it’s really distressing.

I hope you’ve been able to reach out to someone like you did here, you’ll be ok with the right help.

Thinking of you.

Jenny x

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Bloody62

Thinking of you and hope you found the support here helpful. Perhaps by now you have felt able to confide in a trusted friend or family member to get help for you? Professional help might be a first step for you but we are also here to talk and understand.

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