Evening all,For context, I have a 21-month-old son, and after his birth I spent 6 weeks in a Mother and Baby Unit with him, as well as an initial week separated from him in an Acute Mental Health Ward, due to PP. I initially took Olanzapine and experienced lethargy, weight gain and a general zombie-like state where I was just going through the motions and craving food and sleep, and feeling very disassociated, for at least eight months. I have switched to Quietiapine, returned to work part-time, and have felt more myself and lost a significant amount of weight since. I am about to start tapering my dose, with my support team and I monitoring to see if I develop any signs of bipolar.
My husband and I had always planned on having two children, and I personally never wanted to raise an only child. However, my husband was extremely relieved when I told him last year that I don't want another pregnancy as I feel the risk for PP, and for longterm impacts such as bipolar or from treatments such as ongoing medication or ECT (which was recommended for my last episode but not administered), is too high. I am terrified of losing my sense of self and identity completely, and of not being able to be there for my son during immediate treatment or for the long term if I had a second episode of PP. My husband and I have since looked into adoption, but he is hesitant due to its possible negative impact on our son. I was just wondering if anyone is in the same boat as us at the moment, or made a different decision - and, if so, what informed it and what was the outcome?
Thanks , and take care.
Thank you for reaching out to us on what is such a difficult and personal topic. Everyone is so different in their choices and you really have to do what is right for you and your family.
I only have one child and thought that I would have 2 but now do not plan on having any more. I am toying with the idea of fostering, but once my son is a lot older, potentially moving onto uni or out - He is currently 7! My reasons for not doing this at the moment are mainly practical really! Such as expensive of another children, lack of space, logistic of day to day life and work / life balance.
I think my son would love to have an other child in the house - most of the time! What are your worries about the negative impacts on your son?
I'm wondering if there is a forum like this for people considering adoption that might be helpful for you?
As I said it's such a personal decision and only you know what would work for your family.
Hopefully some others will have some more useful input than mine!
Thankyou, it's nice to know I'm not alone. My husband and I have attended an adoption information session and are both currently considering the ethics of adoption. Also, in our country (Australia), many children who are adopted often have complex health needs, so that type of adoption would involve us knowingly choosing for our existing child to likely have ongoing responsibility for their sibling in their adulthood (as opposed to unknowingly, if it occurred with our own pregnancy). Tricky stuff like that, mostly about the implications that informed choice brimngs. It's also so lovely to hear from you that your older child is very happy and not 'craving' a sibling - at the moment I am working through some guilt about my choice meaning that I can't 'give' my son a sibling.