Hi, me again sorry. I’m feeling ok I think with my mh although it’s quite up and down at the moment. My problem is, I’m finding it really hard to Just get through the day again. I can’t even explain the feeling. But it’s like I’m at home with the baby whilst the older kids are at playschool/ school, but I can’t go outside. I’m trying to take her out to the baby groups like I usually do, but I went today and everyone was really irritating me. Like kids running around with snotty faces. And their mums just sat there doing nothing whilst they were being awful. I Just felt like I had to go before I shouted at someone. I’m so snappy all the time every one iterates me. But anyway this wasn’t the point of the post. I’m just finding it hard to get through the day. It’s me and the baby at home on our own whilst my husbands at work. But I find I’m stuck sitting there. Like I feel trapped like I can’t do anything. There’s food in the freezer but I don’t feel like I can cook or eat. I keep getting him to come home to look after the baby and feed her etc. I can’t explain it but it’s like I’m stuck in a trance sat on the sofa not being able to do anything. And I don’t know how to get out of it. People don’t understand coz I don’t even understand it muself. But it’s like my brains shut down and I psychailly can’t move all day 😩
Sorry me again 🤦♀️: Hi, me again... - Action on Postpar...
Sorry me again 🤦♀️
That sounds really tough but also really familiar to me when I was depressed and recovering from PP. Not got time to say much more but just- keep going. One foot in front of the other. I remember doing a hillwalk once where the weather was so bad that i started counting my steps to keep me going! I could then celebrate when i got to another hundred and wad distracted slightly from thinking about how much i hated it and wanted to be in the warm and dry (anyone reading may have correctly guessed I'm based in Scotland!)
Thinking of you
Hazello x
Dear Bumblebeeee,
Good Morning, I am so sorry that you have been feeling so down. Hazello has sent a very sympathetic reply. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other, as she said, it's hard but you can do this.
A walk is said to be so good for us, fresh air exercise, counting the steps seems like a great idea, building up the number each day. It's all easier said than done, I know, but keep going Bumblebeeee.
Thinking of you.
Judith x
Hello dearest Bumbleeee,
I am sorry that you feel that low. It is so difficult when hitting that "black hole"...I prefer my "up moods"...although admittedly a bit too excessive 
I've been on a depression curve this week as I struggle with my moods...I usually go for long walks and try to rest a lot. I pursue things, which I know will calm me down such as meditating and painting. I cut off from social media and any influence of people, who are not givers, but takers...I communicate with friends, who have greatest empathy or even can share compassion.
When so poorly during the first two years of recovering from PPP, my partner encouraged me to go to play groups...I did not mingle with mums very much, but the people who were running this groups were extremely kind...Some days were better than others..
Thinking of you, and you will get through this...healing takes time and what ever you pursue do not be to harsh on yourself...sometimes one manages and on other days trying to attempt the same task, it just does not work! Frustration and anger does not help me much, but I try to convert everything into positive energy...
Look after yourself
x
Hi Bumblebeeee, sorry to read this, mental health struggles can be exhausting I can definitely empathise.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You’ve been through such a lot.
I too found it difficult with other Mums at times. I just didn’t feel the same in my recovery from pp. It’s good that you’re able to identify all your different feelings, and manage the situations you put yourself in.
Take each day as it comes. Some will be better than others. And if thinking about a whole day is too much, that’s ok. I too struggled with that. Just take an hour, short blocks of time. It’ll be ok. I posted on here about always being exhausted by lunchtime in my recovery. Being a mum is tiring in itself, let alone battling with how you’re feeling, up down, something inbetween. We do understand, hold on, it’ll get better for you too. Hold onto that.
One last thing, don’t ever apologise for posting on here. It’s so good you are. I hope you find people’s replies helpful. Remember your family / professionals too.
Xx
Hi Bumblebeeee
Just wondering how you are feeling now? I think that as you haven't been at home for long since leaving the MBU, you might have some days which are not so good. When I built up to leaving the psychiatric unit over weeks and weeks, when I returned home I missed the security of the unit. I was by myself in the unit as there were no facilities for my sons (I had PP twice) but when I went home I was faced with routine, the effects of medication and a new baby to care for, and six years later two sons!
Like you, I felt that I didn't want to be sociable and was irritable. There were days when I wished for rain so that I wouldn't be expected to go out in the wet weather! Sometimes we don't realise how much we have been through and don't give ourselves time to adjust. I hope you will feel a little more settled in time. You have done so well to return home so soon. We all understand .... take good care of yourself. x
Thanks for your message. I’m feeling ok I think. My cpn etc has said I’m too hard on myself. I think I Jusr obsess over how I’m feeling and if it’s a good or bad day etc so I’m trying to just go with the flow instead. I did finally get my hair done by my old hairdresser. Which has made me feel better. Then today I actually put make up on coz felt better like I could actually make an effort for once. Still really down about the fact Iv gained so much weight. I bought a new outfit from next online to wear for my bday next week. But it arrived today and I can’t do it up so I’m abit gutted. I have went back to slimming world tonight so going to really try and stick to it from week to week. I can’t believe how quick Iv put weight on. Think it’s coz I changed meds in hospital. But even just since Iv been home Iv gained at least 2 stone 😩 I am feeling good tho thank you. Iv noticed I’m talking a lot when I wouldn’t usually so think maybe my moods going up. I tend to get low and high mood. They said maybe bipolar but not diagnosed yet. Although I’m pretty convinced that’s what I have also. Sorry I’m rambling but yes I’m feeling good thanks. I went out to the park earlier with the kids and met my support worker there and the kids fed the squirrels. I think the sun helps. I feel better when the sun is out I think. Stilll really paranoid about who’s around me but tryir not to obsess about it and just say yeah they are watching me and following me but that won’t stop me going out now. Am feeling positive I think. How are you?x
Hi Bumblebeeee
I'm glad to hear that you're feeling good. I think we do tend to judge ourselves unfairly at times and it's good that your CPN has recognised you are being hard on yourself. As you are only a few months into recovery I think it's a good idea to go with the flow and not put pressure on yourself. That's a positive step to have your hair done as a treat and put make up on too as it is a way of lifting your mood isn't it?
Going to a slimming club is also a good way of socialising. Try not to worry ... I think some medications can have an effect of weight gain but with your plans in place I'm sure you will feel the difference. The weather does make a difference I think and being out in the sunshine with your children must have felt very good. It must be very reassuring to have the support worker around and seeing your CPN on a regular basis. Perhaps you could talk to them about how you sometimes feel you are being watched?
So glad you have had such a good day and hope you can rest tonight. I'm well thank you .... we are all here to lean on. Take care.
Hi Bumblebeeee
I hope you're finding that going with the flow is a little easier on yourself
Thinking of you and hope your CPN and support worker are helping you to recognise what a great mum you are. Take care. x
Trouble sleeping, and further pregnancy advice after PP episode? 
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