Back in hospital again!!

[Kats88]

After another disastrous 2 weeks Home leave where I literally didn’t get out of bed, and a bad court hearing, I’ve been readmitted, diagnosed with major depressive disorder. They’ve put me on trazodone and lithium in a last ditch attempt to sort me out and discharge me. I’m now on venlafaxine, aripiprazole, zopiclone, haloperidol, clonazepam, trazodone and lithium. I’m praying that the new meds sort me out, im desperate to go home and get my motivation back.

I’m only allowed to see my kids for 2 hours a week and I’ve gone two weeks without seeing them which has made my depression even worse. I don’t want to lie in bed all day everyday but that’s what I do.

I hope everyone else is well, I’m sorry I only come on to moan! Xx

[sarah_at_app Volunteer]

Hi Kats88,

Sorry to hear you are back in hospital, there's a lot of trial and error with different medication and it is frustrating trying to find the right balance. Once you have the right combination of medication and it starts to work, things should get easier.

It sounds like not seeing your children much is making your depression worse. Recovery is so gradual and you will soon start to notice small improvements. You are in the right place with people who can give you the right support. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up if you are having a bad spell and don't want to get out of bed. It's ok not to be ok and allow yourself time to have bad days and hopefully the next day will be a little better.

I met a group of women through APP after I had PP many years ago and they had been through PP. They said similar things to me about taking small steps and not to beat myself up. You are doing the best you can and are doing really well.

Take good care of yourself, the difficult days will pass.

Things will improve,

Sarah x

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hi Kats88, sorry to hear things have been tough for you. It sounds like you have had a horrible time of it. I agree with Sarah about meds, it can be really hard to get the right combination which works for you so I hope that this change is a positive one. I know when I took lithium this really made a difference to me and got me to where I needed to be. I hope things start to turn a corner for you soon and that you can see your children too - I know how tough it must be away from them.

We've all been thinking of you and wishing you well - take care, xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Kats88

It must be so disappointing to be back in hospital but it's the best place to be safe and supported. Hopefully the new combination of medication will be effective. Perhaps two weeks home leave was too much, too soon? Having a major depressive disorder must be very draining. I remember when I was depressed after my second PP I found it so hard to get out of bed as it was my 'safe' space. Eventually I fully recovered, as you will in time.

I hope you have family to visit and support you. Take good care of yourself .... we are all here to lean on. xx

[Helen_84 Volunteer]

Hi Kats88,

Sounds like you have had a really tough time these past two weeks - sending you a virtual hug, you really deserve it. It’s so hard being in hospital when you want to be home, but hopefully with his change of meds you will start to feel a bit better soon.

I had PND and like you found it hard to get out of bed and face the day, everything is a struggle and this can seem never ending. But this is not true, know that there will be a time when you feel better. Small steps will take you a long way.

Take care of yourself and keep us posted on how you are getting on

Helen xx

[Kats88]

Thanks for your replies. I’m doing ok, I’m not feeling any better but I’m not isolated like I was at home. My babies are coming for an hour at 2pm so I’m looking forward to seeing them.

I’m still staying in bed all day, I’m not sleeping well at all so I’m exhausted.

So far I’ve noticed no improvement, just a very dry mouth. I was meant to be going home again today but they started the lithium too late so I’m in for the weekend.

I’m really hoping and praying this fixes me, as nothing else does. Xx

[kaktus]

Good luck Kats! I hope the meds help...

[Jenskygazer Volunteer]

Hi Kats88

I'm so sorry you're in hospital again, but really glad that they are looking at your medication to find the right balance for you. I'm so glad your children came in to visit you at 2pm and really hope that with the new combination of medication you may be able to get better sleep.

Take good care - wishing you well

Jen xx

[Theo116]

Hi kats88.

How are you this evening ?, I am sorry to hear you are back in hospital. Look after yourself and take care.

Best wishes x

[Hidden]

I am thinking of you, Kats88

A big virtual hug

x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Kats88

Thinking of you and wondering if you are still in hospital? Take good care of yourself. We are all here to listen and support you. x

[Hidden]

How are you, Kats88? Thinking of you. We are always here to listen!

Bye for now

x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Kats88

Just wondering if you are still in hospital recovering? Hope you're ok.

Take care.