I had a very difficult experience of PP following the birth of my daughter nearly 17years ago now. I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and given ECT. It was during that time that my husband took control of our finances, he became very controlling and when I eventually left the marriage when my daughter was 10yrs old I discovered that he had committed numerous frauds against me throughout our marriage at the times when I was most vulnerable. When I reported the frauds to the Police they questioned him and he blamed everything on me and my PP - I was devastated and the police were less than sympathetic and I felt they dealt with me differently once they found out I had an historical mental health issue.
Sadly, I did not have good support around my PP from my husband or the NHS, I struggled to find my own way through but I was determined to get through for the sake of my beautiful daughter - I returned to my admin job 14wks after her birth and "put a brave face on" - none of my colleagues even new I'd been ill. My experience, lack of support and understanding had left me feeling very ashamed and guilty about PP.
A few years later I decided to retrain and found myself on an introduction to counselling course - I accessed personal therapy and worked on my self esteem with the help of a private counsellor. My personal experience of PP has had a profound impact on me - and has certainly been a factor in my chosen career now, working as a counsellor in the local college and university.
I am a great advocate of positive thinking/affirmations work which I practice when I'm feeling down or if something triggers those old feelings such as the recent East Enders story line and the birth of my partners grandson.
It has took me a while to put a post on here - I think I still fear reaching out for support with PP and being rejected - part of me feels that I should be "over it" by now - it is at these times I know I need to afford myself some empathy and understanding.
Please know that there is hope and that you are not alone - at times of struggle make your own self care a priority - I have forgiven myself and let go of the guilt I felt - l had PP but it does not define me as a person or as a mother - thanks to PP I have found strength I never knew I had. May you all discover your own sunshine.