My wife gave birth 3 months ago. Since Thursday, she's been distracted, confused, paranoid, hostile/timid and delusional. Her maternity leave ended two weeks ago and it seems that she experienced some stress at work.
On monday, I picked her up from work early (in the morning) and informed them that she simply would not be able to come to work for the next two weeks. I'll deal with the repercussions of that later.
She's home, taking care of the baby now, but she's stopped generating milk. That doesn't help the situation.
She won't admit that she has a problem and refuses to go see a professional. She is even against me attending a support group (for caregivers of people with mental illness).
I want to do my best to diagnose her informally so that I can get an idea of the next steps. Should I be more forceful in prodding her to see a doctor? Should I just let her stay home and relax for these two weeks? Should I try to see a doctor on her behalf (without her consent)?
What is wrong with her?
Hi Sitiposit,
You say "Since Thursday, she's been distracted, confused, paranoid, hostile/timid and delusional". That's quite a short time, but it is all the classic symptoms of PP. Has this been going on longer in hindsight? Has she been acting a bit off since the birth? Is she getting enough sleep? This is crucial. Also you say she returned to work after 3 months, this is very soon so understandable she is stressed juggling that and a small baby.
I think taking the pressure off her, letting her rest and helping look after baby eg. doing night feeds would be a great first step.
It is hard if she doesn't think she has a problem. Sometimes with PP women can be in denial they are ill, or unaware they are acting different. If you can get her to a GP I would and I would be insistent she see's a specialist perinatal mental health professional. She will need to be referred for that and not all areas have them.
Watch very carefully for a sudden, dramatic decline in her mental health. PP can come on very rapidly. For example, severe paranoia, VERY distressed/anxious, very unrealistic worries about baby and hyper mania. If she does experience these symptoms call 999, it is dramatic but PP is an emergency. At A&E you would need to talk to them about PP because unfortunately there is a lack of knowledge amongst SOME doctors/health professionals. If PP is diagnosed hopefully she will be admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit and she WILL get the help she needs.
Hope this helps, good luck, stay strong.
Annanoosh,
I'd say that the severity level is not
"severe paranoia, VERY distressed/anxious, very unrealistic worries about baby and hyper mania"
but this weekend it was quite close. When I was much younger, a friend did too much LSD ("a bad trip"). I remember calming him down. It was quite similar: paranoia, confusion. This is worse because she is (my wife and) the mother of two small children.
Do you know if her early failure to produce breast milk is related? She is certainly not getting much sleep and no exercise. Generally lethargic.
I will try to convince her to see her regular doctor about the breast milk (she is very concerned about that, although I think that's the least of our worries). I will try to communicate with the doctor (I'll mention your suspicion of PP) beforehand about the situation. Perhaps they can make an appropriate referral.
PS I live in Houston, TX. I assume that they would know how to diagnose and treat PP. Am I wrong?
I imagine they will know how to diagnose and treat PP, 1-2 in every 1000 women get it so there will be people out there who can help. In my experience my advice to you is be strong, stay calm, get help. She may just be delirious from tiredness/stress, best to get a professional opinion. Remember if it is PP it is very treatable.
I wouldn't worry about breastfeeding, like you say it's the least of your worries. Reassure her its ok, your baby will still be getting its vital nutrients in formula. PP can be related to hormones, so perhaps there is a link, but I am really not sure.