Our postpartum psychosis : Hello there... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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Our postpartum psychosis

GeorgeKol
GeorgeKol

Hello there.

So, last August my wife gave birth to our beloved child. At mid January she had a postpartum psychotic episode. It was out of the blue and fast. No signs and no other symptoms prior to this. Just one night she got up to feed our son and after a while she woke me in tears saying she couldn't feed him and that she didn't know what she was supposed to do. She was very nervous and i've never seen her like this in the 15 years we are a couple. So i fed our child got him to bed. From then insomnia kicked in. We spent the whole night trying to calm her down. I knew something had happened in her mind but i couldn't figure it out.

The other morning found her a bit better. I told her to take a "day off" and do whatever she made her feel good. She spent most of her time at her sisters talking. Later on the afternoon she came back. A bit relieved but anxious. That night she had her second psychotic episode. Her episode was described to me by her as some kind of devine intervention to her. Like something contacted her and asked her to be a better person. So no sleep for either of us at that night too. We were in bed with me trying to calm her down and her trying to express what she experienced.

The next morning i new that i had to take actions because we where 48 hours straight awake and she was deteriorating. So i called the family and started to considering hospitalization. The problem was that the hospital appropriate for us was not to open for two days more. So i called a psychiatrist at home to give us some guide lines. He immediately recognised PP signs so he gave us olanzapine for the next two days.

The next two days was pretty difficult for everyone. She took the first dose pretty easy but she had second thoughts on the others. She eventually took them but it was a struggle every time. In these two days we first start experiencing the up and down times. The sobriety and then the confusion.

After all these we made it to the hospital. We were lucky enough to have good doctors there who understood the illness right away and started her on proper medication and consulting.

Now she's at home continuing the healing process with medication and consulting.

She is really trying very hard to beat all this and be the mom she want to be. She started working again, which is challenging for her but she is trying gradually to get her life back. We are on the sixth month after the PP episodes and still got a lot to catch up. But i am optimistic and trying to be her "crutch" as we say in humor. Trying to help for all the things she find difficult to do right now.

I'm also starting sessions with a psychologist this week. I've talk to one while we were on hospital but now that time has passed i see that i also need help to cope with this.

And if dads are reading this, yeah guys we are tough and boys don't cry and all that but if your struggling with any situation like this or any other get help! Our children need us strong and healthy so that we can live the life the way we want together. Situations like these change the couple's status and we take on a lot of responsibilities and things to do. We need to watch out for our children but we must also be the "crutch" our wife needs, so that se can recover as soon as possible. So get armed with patience give all your love and put your best into it!

Sorry for the big post but it was my first and i had to let everything out.😓

16 Replies
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Frankieb
FrankiebVolunteer

What a beautiful understanding post.

Your wife is an incredibly lucky lady to have your support.

For lots of us our husbands did not understand so well.

I'm glad she is getting back to 'normal' it is a hugely difficult experience to over come and I still have flashbacks 16 and 13 years later.

I hope she continues to improve, please let her know that we are here for her if she wants to talk at any point.

Best wishes

Barbara xx

GeorgeKol
GeorgeKol in reply to Frankieb

I feel so sorry for the ones that could not understand what was going on.

Yesterday i wrote my first post about it.

Today i will talk to her about this forum and i hope she will come aboard.

Thanks Barbara!

Frankieb
FrankiebVolunteer in reply to GeorgeKol

It would really help her if she does, she will not feel so alone

Take care both

Xx

GeorgeKol
GeorgeKol in reply to Frankieb

She is really open minded and gets all the help she is given to her.

I think she’ll embrace it!

Thanks a lot!

Pikorua
PikoruaVolunteer

Hello George,

welcome to this forum! Congratulations on your new born baby.

Thank you for your account of your circumstances and I am truly sharing my compassion for your wife and you as a new dad.

This forum is the right place to be in touch with mums and dads, who have had to go through the experience of this traumatising illness. You will find compassion, reassurance on this forum.

Administration will give you further details about a dad's fb page, which has been just developed recently by APP.

I will keep it very brief, as I am home schooling my now nearly 10 year old son and need to get some prep organised.

I can tell you that my partner, like you, has been absolutely amazing when I became poorly with PPP, and this was like in your case totally out of the blue. After two week I got terribly poorly and had to be sectioned. Unfortunately there was no MBU within my area and my hospital experience was not great.

When I came back home to my own sanctuary and being in the care of my partner I gradually improved.

Your last paragraph was written with a lot of kindness and encouragement for all those dads out there. I just know that we found light at the end, but this only happened, because of my partner and his love for his new born baby and mum.

Take good care, it is going to be a rough road, but I just can reassure you that PPP has been beaten by all these amazing people on this forum. APP has been part of my healing process as I was listened to and I felt compassion with likeminded individuals in a none judgmental bubble on this forum and subsequently APP's one to one service.

Hope you can establish a support system with professionals, family and friends in your locality. Sorry got to dash again.

Look after yourself, too. And all in stepping stones for your wife!

GeorgeKol
GeorgeKol in reply to Pikorua

Thanks a lot for your sharing!

You know its a rough road but hearing from others that have beaten PPP its really encouraging! In low times it gives you the extra boost you need to keep trying.

So thanks a lot!

Pikorua
PikoruaVolunteer in reply to GeorgeKol

You are more than welcome. Take care!

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello GeorgeKol

So pleased you have found the forum across the miles from Greece and let everything out. :) Belated congratulations on the birth of your child. Thank you for sharing what must have been an awful experience for you and your wife to get to grips with.

I had PP many years ago and was in and out of general psychiatric care. I eventually found my feet and fully recovered. I think with all your good care and support your wife is doing really well to be back at work. It is a challenge and I hope she has regular breaks at work for time out.

I wonder if you have seen the PP Guides at app-network.org/what-is-pp/... "Recovery after Postpartum Psychosis" and also "Postpartum Psychosis : A Guide for Partners"? There are also personal experiences on the page which you and your wife might find helpful and reassuring.

I'm so pleased you are thinking of your own health too and seeing a psychologist this week. PP does takes its toll on husbands, partners and families as they witness some of our odd behaviours! So I hope your sessions will be helpful, just to 'let it all out' as you have done so well here.

I imagine with restrictions in place due to the virus it has been difficult lately to reach out to family and friends? I hope you will find support for yourself too. There is also a resource "Postpartum Support International" for support in various countries across the world, Greece being one of them. The link is postpartum.net and under "Get Help" then "International Support" you will find the list and if you click on 'Greece' you will find info on support co-ordinators who might be able to offer support locally? It goes without saying you are always welcome here too :)

Thank you for your reassuring words for other dads who might be in the same boat. It's always important to talk and not be isolated with thoughts. Perhaps when the restrictions are lifted in Greece you could plan a 'date night' with your wife to celebrate how far she has come and how much you have supported her through such a traumatic life event?

Take care .... we are always here to listen.

GeorgeKol
GeorgeKol in reply to Lilybeth

Wow Lilybeth so much useful information you gave me!

I’ll check the links you shared, it will definitely help me!

Luckily here in Greece things are going relatively good with this covid situation so most of the time we had lots of help from the family.

As you suggested we made a small trip the minute the measurements for covid when off, just the two of us but

your suggestion for a dinner sound also a very good idea!

This way we can be more focused on celebrating how much we have accomplished so far and this will give my wife and myself an extra boost.

Again thank you so much for your help!

I haven’t been in this forum for more than 24hours and i’m already filled with precious information and foremost filled with positive thoughts!

Thank you!

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer in reply to GeorgeKol

Hello GeorgeKol

Good to hear the links will definitely help you. I hope I didn't overwhelm you but just wanted to let you know about support for you and your wife.

So glad you are feeling positive from all the info shared. I think a 'date night' will give you both a boost after all you have been through, to celebrate how far you have come in a short time.

You are and have been an amazing support to your wife! I hope you can find space in your days to take a few minutes for yourself, in between the precious moments with your wife and child.

We are here for you .... take care.

Jenny_at_APP
Jenny_at_APPAdministrator

Hello GeorgeKol,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your experience, and also the words of comfort and encouragement for other Dads and partners who find themselves in a similar position. What wonderful support you’ve been giving your wife, and you’re so right that partners need support too.

I had PP 8 years ago after the birth of our first son. I recovered well, and relatively quickly, but there’s so much to process and come to terms with so recovery can take some time with ups and downs. I’ve been well since and had a second son in 2016, happily without recurrence of PP. Both boys are happy and healthy :)

Lilybeth has given you some links to resources that hopefully you and your wife will find helpful. Pikorua mentioned the APP Facebook group for partners so I wanted to give you the link to that as well in case you ever wanted to give that a look - facebook.com/groups/APPpart...

It’s a group for partners of women who have had PP to connect and support each other (there’s a post about it here - healthunlocked.com/app-netw...).

Sending best wishes to you and your wife.

Jenny

Jenny thank you so much for the info you shared with me and your kind words!

I will definetly check them out.

I always keep in mind that we have one more serious reason to make it through this. And this is our baby.

I’m sure your babies gave courage too!

Best wishes to you too!

George

Pikorua
PikoruaVolunteer in reply to Jenny_at_APP

Thank you Jenny for highlighting the face book page for dads. x

Thank goodness your wife has you. I am glad you are both getting help. Hang in there. Better days are ahead. With you in spirit and wishing you both well. ❤

Hi George!

It was so nice to see your post and how supportive you have been to your wife; she is lucky to have you and I hope this has strengthened your bond as a couple. There cannot be enough praise for husbands that goes through this experience, especially with a new baby. I'm so happy to hear you are getting support to move forward.

My heart goes out to your wife as I know how horrible it is to go through PPP. I still get flashbacks and have sadness that I wasn't healthy for our baby when she was a newborn but I know it's not something I chose or can go back and change. I sincerely hope for the best for her continued recovery ❤️

Sending well wishes from Canada. All the best to your family!

Hi GeorgeKol,

Congratulations on the birth of your baby. I am sorry that your wife suffered from this illness. Not much to add from the already wonderful replies you have had, but to say that I found the title of your post heart-tugging. It is more natural and easier to take shared ownership of the beautiful things in life, our pregnancy for example, but it takes real courage to own up to the not so pretty side of things. Kudos. Keep on being the great "crutch" you are for your wife as you say in jest. And also look after yourself, it is so important. Take good care

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