How can my partner help me?

[H2H2018]

Hi

I'm currently recovering from PP and my partner wants to help me however I don't know how he can.

Can anyone please advise whats the best way a partner can help?

Also a question he would like answered is how can this illness take control so quick as one day I seemed ok and the following day I was in full blown PP?

[AndyHenderson Volunteer]

There's a useful document that contains a lot of content provided by partners of APP sufferers on the APP web site at: app-network.org/partners-2/

I hope it's useful,

Andy

[H2H2018 in reply to AndyHenderson]

Thank you so much Andy im new to this site so still trying to find my way around. I will have a look through.

[Meridyth Volunteer]

hiya its great you have a supportive partner, mine helped by doing most of the housework and cooking. He would also look after our babies for part of the night. As i recovered and babies got older he would look after them so i could exercise or have a massage

hope this helps

Meredith x

[Mamfie08]

Hi h2h2018

Postpartum psychosis is a illness and can hit u when not expected. I know when i had it.. it came from nowhere I was okay one day and then bang...

I found tablets controlled it very quickly I was very lucky that they caught it just in time. My partner couldn't cope when I was ill and I ended up with parents in till taken to mother and baby unit. I was in there 3months and the help and support got me there. I don't think anybody can help in less they have been through themselves they can be supportive and try help but it's professionals that can only unfortunately. Your partner can be there to help u with the pain and the suffering but can't cure u

Hope this helps good luck

[Hidden]

Hello H2H2018,

welcome to the forum. This is a good place to find information and exchange experiences from and for mums.

I am not sure where you are at with regards to your stage of recovery. Stories of mums with PPP are very diverse, especially the way we experience support and help when acute illness breaks out.

in 2010, after giving birth to my son, I got very poorly within 2 weeks and was sectioned to a Psychiatric hospital. Treatment and care was "not ideal".

After 39 days my partner finally got me out of this place and only in the after care I gradually improved. Yes, I believe he saved my sanity or shall we say he was the one, who brought me back to life. My partner looked after me full time for 6 months and of course our beautiful son. Gradually I re-gained some of my basic skills again, and eventually was able to look after my son.

My partner was working closely together within a support network containing of professionals and family who helped me tremendously with my path of recovery. I was weaned off after one year from very traditional drugs.

I can not give you the answer how your partner can help. When you are in a relationship of love, tender, care, you will just do it - in my partner's case, it was just unconditional!!!

I guess, the traumatising experience can affect everybody involved, the once who love you.

Take good care and hope you have a support system in place with a care plan, where you and your partner will discuss with i.e. GP, Psychiatrist, Care worker, Health visitor etc, your stepping stones with the objective of a gradual recovery...

x

[Kojo12]

Hi Sister,

Am writing this to you as my wife is currently in this illness now. As a husband, truthfully sometimes i get frustrated with what my wife is going through Especially when she refuses the medication. But i cannot hurt her or divorce her or speak bad about her even sometimes i do when am angry or frustrated. i do well to put my pride aside and apologize to her. In all this i learned patient, love, care and understanding. Till now shes been a little stable and hopping it remains like that.

My advice to you is not to frustrate your husband but trust him to assist you in the little things like cooking, changing diapers, helping you or reminding you take your meds, etc. Take and celebrate one day at a time cos thus the road to recovery i have learnt when my wife had the first PP.

Above all submit to your husband, Respect him with a sincere heart and love him as Christ loves us all. Trust in God and trust also that you will get well. NOTE: Do not worry so much about your Husband but then let love overcome every fear or doubt you have. Cos worrying will not add a single minute or day or height to your life, but pain, fear, anger and all.

So my dear sister, enjoy your recovery and life. But in all this remember your creator, fear Him and obey his commandments.

Stay blessed

[Kojo12]

To add to your husband question. Hmm i remember when my wife had her first PP. That was a Tuesday morning when she set off to commit suicide at the subway. Imagine how terrified i was, i cried like a baby not eating the whole Tuesday. Cos she has no history of mental illness. The most painful of all was that, after she had been hospitalized since Tuesday till Saturday she was discharge thinking she has recovered only to realized it was graduating to higher level. The Sunday of the same week she wanted to commit another suicide and the police were there to assist. With these she stay in the Hospital for 4 months approx. I all this she refuse meds and she was sectioned and injected. The first PP was horrifying cos i have not seen anything like that before in my our lives. Thanks to this forum where i had other wonderful women share their story.

Am in again now, but with 1 yr experience lol. At least this time am taking it a day at a time amidst the frustration.

[Jenny_at_APP Partner in reply to Kojo12]

Hello Kojo12

I’m so sorry your wife is suffering from PP again. I hope you’re coping ok and recovery is quicker this time around. Hopefully it is easier on you than last time in that you know what you are dealing with, but it must be very hard with your older child as well.

Do start your own thread if you would like too, I’m sure you will get lots of support. Hopefully you are reassured that your wife has come through this before and will again.

Take good care.

Best wishes,

Jenny

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi H2H2018

I think it’s so hard for partners to know what to do when PP hits, it’s such a shocking thing to happen. My PP was completely out of the blue as well - after a couple of days of increasingly odd behaviour and insomnia (after 3 weeks of very little sleep and increasing anxiety) I spiralled very quickly into psychosis. I don’t know why it hits so suddenly, a lot of people seem to describe it like a switch being flicked.

My husband was simply a calm, consistent, loving, reassuring presence. He seemed so confident and competent at all the practical side of parenting when I had zero confidence and felt completely useless. He just kept picking me up when I needed picking up.

Take care, I’m really glad you’ve found the forum xx

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi congratulations on your baby. So sorry you were hit by pp, it was such a huge shock and trauma, and for my partner too.

Others have given such great tips. One thing I thought is that he may find it helpful to read this blog someone wrote ‘what to say to someone who had Postpartum Psychosis’ and is written by someone who had pp and also supported many others with pp. it rings so many bells of my own experience and wish I’d had it for my friends and family to read at that time! She writes specifically about partners too and what she wanted to hear from her partner when she was recovering. ppsoup.com/2016/01/26/what-...

Take care

Ellie