I'm getting desperate and losing hope. I've been on 125 mg of quetiapine for 2 weeks.
The entire day I'm completely depersonalized. All I can do is play a game on my phone, draw lines in a notebook, and look up things about PP on the internet. I literally don't know how I survive the day. My boyfriend is with me all day, but we don't really talk. He just sits next to me and plays video games to keep me company. My baby is being taken care of by the rest of the family. I think about suicide every day. I keep waiting for the meds to "kick in".. but this seems just ridiculous. Is this really just how it is? I can't imagine it getting better if it hasn't yet. The only relief I get is when I'm asleep, though I wake up several times usually, in a cold sweat and take sleeping pills to keep sleeping. I'm either extremely anxious, hopelessly depressed, and throughout that extreme depersonalization/derealization and the awful PP thoughts. I never heard voices or saw things... but this state is unbearable. Is this really just how it is while I'm waiting for the meds to work? I'm really worried the dosage is too low. I think they keep mis-evaluating me because I have a high level of coherent speech/thought. But this is unbearable.. I literally don't know how much more of this I will be able to take... sometimes I hope I will just die in my sleep.