Back in hospital for Christmas :(

[Kats88]

I went to my ward round expecting to be discharged but the consultant wouldn’t let me leave. He said I was dissociated and disconnected and I was speaking very slowly and I admitted I had stockpiled my meds to take a big overdose.

So here I am, on Christmas Eve in hospital. I wouldn’t be seeing my babies today anyway but it still sucks. I’m getting leave to go to my dads house tomorrow where my babies will be so at least I can have a proper Christmas Day.

I lost in court on Thursday, social services turned up and sabotaged my access so instead of 3 full days per week I’m now only allowed 4 hours twice a week. This has set me back massively.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you and your families all have a good one xx

[Kat_at_APP Volunteer]

Hi Kats88 I’m so sorry things haven’t gone as you’d hope this week. We can only hope that both the medics and the court have got the best interests of you and your children at heart. I’m sure they do. It does sound like you’re still quite poorly, so I hope the consultant had a good plan at ward round for getting you better and Home from hospital in the new year. And hopefully social services are planning ahead for improving access arrangements when your mental health improves? Such a horrible chicken-and-egg thing though, because as you say you’d feel better if you had more access! Argh.

Anyway thank you very much for the kind Christmas wishes and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family. All the best for the new year too.

Take care, love Kat x

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Kats88

I'm so sad to read your post, and to hear what a difficult week you have had.

It sounds like the hospital staff are wanting to support you, and recognise that you still need the intensive support that hospital can give. It sounds like you have so much to deal with, it is good you have that support for the moment, though I know it must feel so hard to be in hospital.

I know it must be hard to keep hopeful, but you will get better, and get through this.

Thinking of you,

Ellie X

[Kats88]

Thanks ladies. We’ve played guess who and sang some carols so it hasn’t been all bad being here. I’m gutted not to be able to put my kids to bed tonight, and sprinkle the reindeer food they made, but I’m just thankful I’m seeing them tomorrow.

I’m devastated about the access arrangements and am going to try and fight this in court. I was doing so well on 3 days per week and now because of social services I’m back in hospital. Xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Kats88

I'm sorry to hear you are in hospital and missing your children, especially at this time of year. It's good that you will be having leave tomorrow to be with your dad and children. I hope you have a good rest tonight. Stay safe and take care. xx

[kaktus]

Dear Kats. I'm sorry you are back in hospital but at least you mentioned you made some friends there and will have some company. I'm still recovering from PP, and am currently going through a horribly debilitating depression. It gets so bad I think I won't survive it.. but then I always do.. for another day.. and then another day.. and so on. The struggle is hard but I keep telling myself.. just make it through another day. I also realized, because I feel like my whole life is in shambles and I don't know how to even begin repairing it.. I have to prioritize and start from the roots so to speak. So I tell myself.. priority #1 is getting my mental health back. Everything else will follow. I don't have the same difficult situation you are in with not being able to see your kids, but I think it would help you too to just put your mental health as priority #1 and once that's better you will slowly rebuild your life from the bottom. And you will rebuild it, I'm sure! Sending you hugs and warm Christmas wishes all the way from Prague.....

[Hidden]

Dear Kat,

my heart goes out to you. I am sorry to hear that things are still so difficult.

Wishing you a nice time when you are on leave and meeting up with dad and children.

Bye for now,

thinking of you,

x

[Lemonadesparkler]

Hi Kat, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Might be worth contacting Family Rights group if you haven't already? frg.org.uk. Sending you lots of love x

[Hidden]

Hope things have improved since a year ago. It's a shame that mental health treatment is defined by time length, dates, and without necessary support to keep you feeling positive

and that people are not taking sides. Take care.