Tips for recovery at Christmas time

[Naomi_at_app]

Hi everyone

I know lots of us have experience of being home from hospital just for short periods at Christmas, or being newly discharged (I was still quite 'high' looking back at our own first Christmas 9 years ago and rushed around seeing friends and family)

If you've had a first Christmas in recovery, what tips would you give to other mums & families for minimising stress? How did you build special memories even in a difficult time? Hope this will be helpful to families going through it this year xxx

[Mims2014]

This is my first Xmas since recovery. I'm trying to avoid anything too high stimulus. I really dislike my sister in laws so considering pretending to b ill to avoid them on boxing day

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator in reply to Mims2014]

Just do what you feel is right Sallyhudson! I know I struggle with family politics at times too and my husband is very protective of our time together as just our little family unit rather than feeling obliged to go and see people all the time. I hope your preparations are going well, and you're able to enjoy some special times together and make those all important memories. Take care, xx

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer in reply to Mims2014]

Very wise Sally - families can be incredibly stressful so definitely give yourself permission to steer clear of any difficult interactions! X

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

I can't believe Christmas is just round the corner - and looking back 5 years, I was on the Mother & Baby Unit and had been told (about now probably) that I wasn't well enough to be discharged for Christmas. It makes me sad in a way, but I did have overnight leave and my husband picked me and our son up on Christmas morning, before going back after tea on Boxing Day.

My memories from that time are still wonderful though, like when I dressed our baby in a Christmas Pudding outfit and all the ward staff and other patients cooed over him! My husband had bought a ready made Christmas dinner that just went in the oven and we had a nice meal, just us as a family, and celebrated our first Christmas together. We went to visit some family on the way back to hospital the following day but it was really important for us to share the special time together, just the 3 of us.

I hope others are getting ready for Christmas and remembering this time when they were still ill or in recovery, and cherishing the special memories as well as reflecting on how far they've come. I can't believe how my life has turned out and feel very lucky indeed to be where I am and about to celebrate again with my family. Thinking of others at this time too,

xx

[kellbell]

Last Christmas I was very unwell but hadn't yet been offered a space in an mbu. My husband & I spent Christmas with our 2 boys at my parents & I finally got admitted to the mbu on the 28th.

I feel like I should be really happy & grateful that we're all together for Christmas & that I'm doing so well. Everyone keeps telling me to relax & enjoy this Christmas but I just feel overwhelmed & tearful.

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer in reply to kellbell]

Oh kellbell I'm sorry to hear it's feeling hard going this Christmas. I think it's really natural to have tough memories and a sense of grief for how hard it was last year. I hope you are able to just spend some relaxed time with your family on the day, maybe raise a toast to better times and for the recovery you have made. It's so important to let the tears come too though as it does help to allow ourselves to feel the sadness of those early weeks and months being so hard.

Thinking of you

Naomi X

[kellbell]

Last Christmas I was very unwell but hadn't yet been offered a space in an mbu. My husband & I spent Christmas with our 2 boys at my parents & I finally got admitted to the mbu on the 28th.

I feel like I should be really happy & grateful that we're all together for Christmas & that I'm doing so well. Everyone keeps telling me to relax & enjoy this Christmas but I just feel overwhelmed & tearful.

[LaBelle17 in reply to kellbell]

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to be happy.sometimes Logically you know you have a lot to be thankful for and 'should' be happy. But if you're still recovering you might need to cry it out. That's okay. Xx

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Kellbell, really sorry to hear you're finding it hard this Christmas, especially with the memories of what sounds like very tough times last Christmas...

This will be my son's 3rd Christmas. I was 'lucky' in that my first Christmas I'd been out of the MBU for maybe a month and I happened to be having quite a good spell (I was very up and mostly down for a year or so after) so don't have any horrible memories of xmas necessarily...

Tips to get through any xmas... I guess try not to surround yourself with too many people, especially people you don't feel comfortable with. In those v early months I just needed not to get overwhelmed and to feel safe. People you could be yourself with. I was with my partner's family that first xmas, they were really understanding and there was so pressure on me at all to be well, and they took good care of me.

I guess to try and surround yourself with people like that if you're feeling fragile...

Take care all X