feeling the pressure

[Bluelady-sing]

My oh wants a baby now! I am weaning from quetiapine - although I have not told him. Every time he goes out I worry something terrible is going to happen. He thinks I am pressurising him,. I don't want to loose him.

[Hidden]

Hi Pumpkins. There are a lot of things going on here. Your other half wants a baby, you are coming off medication, you haven't told him, every time he goes out you think the worst, he thinks you are putting pressure on him ... is this not to go out ? and you don't want to lose him. Let's see if we can go through this together. I think we have to look at the medication side first. Are you coming off the meds under GP supervision, if not, it's very important to get the GP involved. this could mean you, your oh and the GP get together and discuss this because this is at the crux of the matter if you decide to try for a baby. The GP may be able to suggest a dose that is safe through pregnancy; I have to admit I am not an expert on medication.

If your partner wants a baby, you have to think about whether it is the right time for you. It is something that needs such a lot of discussion between you. You will both need to open up the lines of communication. With regard to him going out, do you go out with him too sometimes or is it that he goes out and leaves you at home worrying. If he goes out say, next Friday, could you go out with a friend that night ? the following week you could go out together, If all he wants to do is go out and leave you in, then he is not considering your feelings and you would have to really think about why you wouldn't want to lose him.

From your post I do not know whether you have suffered post partum psychosis previously or whether you have bi polar disorder which would make you much more at risk of PPP. I am more than happy to reply to a future post from you if you wish to leave another posting. I think you are in a very difficult place with lots of big decisions to make and if it helps, we can communicate again through this forum.

Best wishes

[Bluelady-sing]

Thanks sue

[Bluelady-sing]

I broached the subject with my Gp he made all the right noises, quoting the Human Rights Act. I still really trust services.

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Pumpkins

I just wanted to say it is really important you get advice from a perinatal psychiatrist about weaning off medication, as this can make you relapse and you could become unwell. A lot of medication is safe to take in pregnancy (including, as far as I know, most anti-psychotics), and a perinatal psychiatrist can help you too. This is what I would do if I was planning a pregnancy and was taking medication. They can advise you on how to stay well.

You have received some good advice already from Sue on here, I hope that is helpful and that you're able to get all the support you need.

Ellie

[Bluelady-sing]

My Gp has told me to stay on them ...until the third trimester, then I don't know. At the moment I just get over sedation and headaches from this.. Are you and Sue fed up of me?

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Of course we're not fed up of you! I am just passionate about making sure women get the right support, advice and information so you can make good choices, and stay well

I hope all goes well.

Ellie

[Bluelady-sing in reply to Ellie_at_APP]

I know but I worry that in the future if my child has a playground accident or rides a bike.. I will look like a bad dangerous mum as they will say she has mental health problems therefore is neglectful.

[Ellie_at_APP Partner in reply to Bluelady-sing]

I can understand it's really difficult, and I can understand your fears. Perhaps you could try and find a mental health professional you can trust, such as someone from a perinatal mental health team who understands and supports mum's with mental health diagnosis, to speak about your fears and worries? They may be able to reassure you. Or perhaps your GP if you find them supportive?

Take care,

Ellie

[Bluelady-sing in reply to Ellie_at_APP]

yes my gp

[suzannah0]

Who is 'my oh?' I don't understand

[Bluelady-sing]

oh is my Other Half