intrusive thoughts after pp

[Adoo97]

Hi again I wanted to ask about intrusive thoughts after pp during recovery if it is common because my wife says she has negative thoughts often especially during her period she says the thoughts come and go quickly has anyone had similar symptoms I am so worried that a new illness may have come up I have no idea but she gets thoughts like this (what if I lose my baby) (what would my daughter do if I died now) but she can have slightly different thoughts also can be positive but more negative

[hgallo Volunteer]

Hi Adoo97, I'm one of the volunteers at APP. I had pp after the birth of my twin girls in 2016. I'm no expert on intrusive thoughts but what your describing sounds like it could be anxiety around the baby. I did have very bad anxiety following pp. It's good she's talking to you about it, although it must be worrying for you. Is she still taking any meds? I reached out to people a lot at app and found it helpful. There are lots of good resources online to help with anxiety. Let me have a look and I will post. But in the meantime please fell reassured that it's good she's talking about it and normal to feel anxious about the baby, especially after having pp, hope that helps. Bear with me x

[hgallo Volunteer in reply to hgallo]

greenhub.org.uk/a-simple-wo... Mind website also has some useful resources.

When I get anxious thoughts I tend to talk about them, like your partner, yoga and fresh air also helps me. But I also noticed your other posts, you obviously care about her a great deal and that really does make a difference when someone is anxious too. Best wishes x

[Zebunisa_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Adoo97 .

I also had these sort of thoughts during my recovery. I was very anxious and worried that I had this huge responsibility to look after our baby and didn't feel I was ready enough and was in constant worry about everything. But with the right help from the perinatal mental health team (i.e., recovery worker) and my husband encouraging me to do self care strategies (i.e., going for walks, exercise, homemade art activities) I became better.

Perhaps you can speak to your wife's GP about this. They might refer you to a helpful service. Alternatively, you could get in touch with us and we can have a chat.

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer]

Hi Adoo97

Thank you for connecting with us to talk about the intrusive thoughts your wife is experiencing, and the distress it is causing for both of you. I found a helpful blog which talks about intrusive thoughts, especially in the postpartum period - it has some simple tips at the end for managing this experiences which I hope will be useful and reassuring for you and your wife.

healthline.com/health/menta...

Warmly

Naomi

[HelenMW Volunteer]

Hello Adoo97

So glad you have found this forum to share concerns about your wife.

I certainly had intrusive thoughts during my PP. Which was many years ago.

Recently I had a course of CBT and found it to be very helpful indeed. There was a session on what were called NATs , negative automatic thoughts. I think quite a few people have these and some can disregard them quite easily. I am a little bit prone to these but I learned to not see them as a threat. They can actually just come and go , like a cloud or like a train at a station. I learned not to linger with them. Sometimes I can say , Oh it’s you again , well away you go. My daughter has flown to Tenerife today and I knew a few NATs would pop into my head . What if this, what if that? I have learned to dismiss them as they are neither facts, nor are they true. I shift my thinking very swiftly with things that are actually positive and can counteract the negative.

I have more to add but will follow up tomorrow.

Warm wishes, Helen x

[Natalie_at_APP APP]

Hi Adoo97

I too had intrusive thoughts through my recovery from PP. it’s something I took years to open up to anyone about and its wonderful your loved one has opened up to you and that way she won’t be sitting with this on her own. I found therapy extremely helpful to process these thoughts and put them into perspective. You take care of you too and remember what a great support you are being xx

[Lilly53 Volunteer]

Hi Adoo97

It is so lovely to hear that you want to understand what is happening with your wife.

Yes I too had intrusive thoughts when I got ill. And 10 years later although I’m recovered they do return sometimes, especially around my period. But they don’t impact on me and make me feel anxious as they did in the past. I think it is great your wife is able to tell you about her negative thoughts and she is aware of them.

For example, like Helen mentioned, I’ve also learnt some techniques recently regarding my thoughts and have found these very helpful. I wish I’d learnt all this sooner really. I now understand more about the links between our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. For example, it sounds like your wife’s thoughts are of a ‘catastophizing’ nature which can make someone feel more anxious. Ive learnt to feel more at peace by recognising thoughts aren’t facts and the worst doesn’t always happen. I have learnt to let such thoughts just pass and I don’t engage with them or I try to think more realistically/positively. It’s a skill but practice can help! I hope to get better and better at it! You might be interested in this video by Every Mind Matters here in the UK ad it explains some of this:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=tfkhk...(Not working as expected?)

I wish your wife and your whole family well.

x

[Elmo1505 Volunteer]

Hi Adoo97, I have had a similar experience with intrusive thoughts after having pp in 2019 after the birth of my daughter. I was very concerned by these thoughts I was experiencing, some of which were more disturbing than others. At the time, I spoke to my Care Co-ordinator who reassured me this was actually a completely normal response which many women experience during recovery and shortly after having a child. It may be beneficial for your wife to speak to her support worker if she has one just to reassure her this can be a normal response experienced by many in her position and so they can offer any support that may ease her anxiety and concerns. I found personally, meditation and deep breathing in particular helped me. There is a brilliant app for this called 'Calm'. Hope this helps. Best wishes to your family.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hi Adoo97

I hope the shared experiences and links here have been helpful and that your wife is slowly improving. Remember to take good care of yourself too and talk openly about how you are feeling. Best wishes across the miles.