Hi all
My poor husband is desperate for someone to talk to. He is trying to give my psychologist two secret topics to discuss with me because he says bringing them up with me would be too painful for me. He is also desperate to speak to friends. And he even rang the samaritans last night.
I had asked him not to discuss my health with anyone except two of his friends. I dont want people to stop liking me. But he has now set up an outing with a different friend to discuss me and the "secrets."
Whole situation making me feel sad and isolated (much like husband does ) and a bit powerless.
Any support gratefully received!
Spaghetti
Hi spaghetti
So sorry to hear your husband, and you, are struggling so much...
Probably seems obvious but it really sounds like your husband would really benefit from sone counselling / therapy. I don't know if you can afford to pay privately, you can look up therapists on the BACP website (if you do Google search, sorry I'm writing on my phone so not possible to do a link). I'd suggest person centred counselling.
Or perhaps you could go to couple therapy, or does that feel too much? I felt we could have done with that but somehow couldn't manage to go. I have heard the organisation Relate (again Google) is good.
Just to reassure you though, me and my partner had huge difficulties and I think my partner suppressed a lot, to the point about 3 years after I'd been ill, and when I was really well, he was off sick with stress and had counselling just by going to the doctors and she did say that she thought he had post traumatic stress. It's not unusual or surprising it's so difficult, but would really encourage your husband to get some counselling, it helped my partner so much.
Take care and hope at least some of this helps x
thank you Ellie! that has been discussed with my team and he should be getting access to a psychologist soon - he's just feeling impatient that it's not immediate. today he has this friend to speak to who i think will be really helpful too.
i just wish he wasn't going to be talking about me behind my back - but i think i have to suck it up...
a big thanks for replying
spag x