Hi ladies my name is Kirsty I'm looking for some ladies to talk to and share there experiences with pps here goes .
I had a very trumatic labour for 3 days and ended with a emergency c section I had no sleep for 3 days then on a ward with babies I didn't sleep for another 2 days I also didn't go near my baby for some reason I went home and didn't sleep again that's when I started having panic attacks and strange thoughts , I thought I had died in labour and I was a ghost I thought my baby had died as by this time she was being cared for by my mum as I was to ill , I thought the world was coming to a end , I thought god was sending me messages I thought my baby was possessed by the devil very strange stuff my husband took me to a and e twice but there was no help for me no1 knew what was going on or what to do and sent me home I wouldn't sleep at night as I thought I was going to die if I slept I thought my own dog was trying to eat me finally after 10 days I was put into a mental health unit we're I was finally diagnosed with PPS but there I wasn't treated very well and I didn't get to see my baby for another 10 days I was kept away from her .
It was the first case they had seen of PPS and again they didn't really know what to do , after a long time I finally got moved to a mother and baby unit we're I tried to bond with Skyla as much as possible but it was hard but I was getting better and finally we we're discharged I came home but was so tired I was in bed every night at 6 for about 4 months ! So I feel I missed out so much with my little girl I feel like I don't remeber her being a baby ! I was on medication to olazapine 20mg to start with lucky now it has been reduced slowely to only 5mg , I have out over 3 stone on being on the medication though ! I am recovering now nearly 9 months after I'm now finding my self to feel like me again ! And I have totally bonded with my little girl she is my world amazing ! I feel I'm not as happy as I use to be though or I don't laugh as much as I use to and I'm much quiter then I use to be , I hope that comes back it's been 9 months will it come back ? I feel gutted I got PPS and feel I missed out on so much of my little girls life that I won't get back and
I am always scared of getting it again and being separated from my little girl I would be heartbroken . I was just looking for ladies that may of had the same experiences as me ? I think I got PPS through lack of sleep and stress from a trumatic labour as I have never had any mental health problems before . Anyway hope to hear some of your stories
Thank you for listening
Kirsty xx