Second baby delivery options. Advice please :)

Hi ladies,

Hope you are all well :)

I have come on here for a bit of advice please. Basically I had my daughter November 2014 and developed PP very suddenly and was sectioned on a MABU when she was 9 days old.

The labour I had with her was very long and tiring, 3 days in total and she was back to back. I was induced and not progressing at all so they prepped for a c-section and as the epidural got wheeled in and the man was telling me the risks, she turned and arrived 10 minutes later!! It was excrutiating pain and I thought I had died as she was delivered.

So... now I am 8 months pregnant with a boy and have been offered an elective c-section. I dont know what to choose. I'm dreading a long, tiring and painful labour away from my litttle girl, but I'm also worried about the lengthy recovery from a cesarean.

Can any of you offer me any advice on which way would be best for me?

Thankyou in advance for any replies :)

21 Replies

  • Hello Alexandrarose

    Congratulations on your second pregnancy and welcome back to the forum.

    As you probably know from the forum I had PP twice many years ago and times have changed so much for the better. I had two c-sections, the first was an emergency as our son was in distress so I wasn't able to see him until the next day. I chose an elective c-section with our second son, six years later, as I wanted to be awake and I also thought I would recover more quickly.

    Unfortunately, I had a bad dose of PP again but I can't remember how long it took me to recover from my c-sections in either case. I'm sorry this is not very helpful ..... has the midwife been able to give you any advice about what's best for you? I'm sure there will be other mums here with more up to date experiences for you.

    I wish you well in these last few weeks ..... try not to worry and rest as much as you can.

  • Hi Lilybeth,

    Your experiences sound awful, I am so sorry that you experienced PP twice! The thought of that scares me to death.

    Thankyou for your reply. I have a 1-1 midwife who has explained she will be there for support in the labour and has told me that second births are usually easier. She also told me if it reassures me I can book in for a cesarean and back out if I decide against it. My first baby came a week early so this baby might be early too.

    I would prefer to have the decision made for me as I am so indecisive but I'm just going to have to see what happens. I will book in for cesarean for 40 weeks and keep on the exercise ball too. Nothing is ever really in our control where babys are concerned anyway! Haha.

    Take care


  • Hello Alex

    I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you to death! My PP was a long time ago and I did mention that times have changed for the better. Be assured that some mums here have had subsequent pregnancies without PP returning. I've always been indecisive too but the midwife you have sounds very supportive. I'm sure your daughter is a delight and I can understand you not wanting to be away from her for too long.

    Thanks for taking the time to reply ...... take it easy for now.

  • Hi!

    Congrats on pregnancy! I'm 35 weeks but I don't have much advice sorry as my labour was fine.

    My only advice would be to ask the consultant and midwife again for their recommendations - all labours are different and if baby is head down and back to your front then it might be easier this time as you'll be stretched BUT they don't offer c secs for nothing so that might be their recommendation (sorry basically I have no idea).

    My mum had c sec with my sister and my cousin did too - they both said recovery wasn't too bad if you take it easy and take pain relief but I guess we have the added stress of pp again and that would sway me to try a vaginal birth as there's no way I would take it easy.

    Are you going to take preventative meds for pp or wait and see? I was very torn with this decision.

    Please keep in touch.

    Sally xx

  • Hi Sally,

    Thankyou for your reply.

    Yes, I have a plan in place to take Olanzipine at night after delivery which was a difficult decision. I am currently taking Sertraline as I have suffered badly with depression this pregnany so they will hopefully balance out.

    I wad undecided as to whether to wait to see if symptoms occurred before taking any anti-psychotics as they made me so drowsey last time but the dose was a lot higher and it was Haloperidol and Lithium as my mania was so bad. I watched My Baby, Psychosis and Me and that made me decide to take preventative meds as I saw how mania makes you feel so good that you dont feel like you need meds and I cant say if I would take them voluntarily if I was to feel as happy and amazing as last time.

    If you haven't watched the programme, I would recommend it.

    Congratulations on your baby, not long now. I hope you have a better experience this time :)

    Take care


  • Yeah I too decided on preventative meds, partly after watching that programme on BBC too! I was exactly the same as Jenny during my illness (the GPs wife).

    I'm taking what worked last time, Aripriprizole am and sleeping tablet at night on delivery day. I asked for higher dose than recommended as original consultant said pp gets worse the longer it's left untreated but now I wish I'd took advice for 10mg rather than 15mg after 10mg for three days - never mind, I can reduce after 12 weeks.

    I love my son very much now (did take 6 months to feel anything though!) so he's worth having pp for and the next one will be too so I'm not too worried - I think I just associate pp with having a baby so don't know any better.

    I've been a bit depressed this week but I'm putting it down to problems sleeping (my hips hurt at night after 4 hours sleep and my neighbours are too noisy to nap through the day) plus my husband is being selfish but at the min I'm managing med free - it only takes an hour for that to change though!

    Hopefully we can keep in touch and both remain well - even if exhausted!

    Sally x

  • Hi Sally,

    How is your pregnancy going? I can completely relate to feeling low, aching pelvis, tiredness and selfish husband this last few weeks. I cannot wait to have this baby, I am exhausted x

  • Low mood has gone and not elated either so just feel balanced in mood - but very exhausted! 6 days to go but really want a good sleep before baby arrives, but fat chance!

    How are you?

    Good luck and please keep in touch xx

  • Morning.

    I would say I'm feeling very much like you. Very balanced mood, just feel like I could sleep for a week, although I did manage to have a long rest yesterday while my dad watched my daughter. Try and get rested before baby arrives, it will help in the long run. Take care x

  • Hi Alexandrarose,

    I had a c-section (due to failure to progress after an induction) with my 1st and physically seemed to recover without too much issue. Although the euphoria and mania of early PP possibly overtook the possible physical issues. In fact I've probably heard more horror stories from vaginal birth recoveries than I have c-section recoveries.

    I know that generally a planned c-section has a smaller chance of complications and thus an easier recovery but I guess with any surgery there are risks. Perhaps at this late stage in pregnancy sound out the possibility of a c-section with your care providers and also assess bubs positioning as your due date nears.

    Things can change quite quickly but if you are aware of your options than that alleviates some decision making in stressful situations.

    Good Luck.

  • Hello alexandrarose,

    Congratulations on your second pregnancy, I hope you're feeling well and not too uncomfortable.

    I've recently had my second child and didn't have a c-section with either, but others on here who elected to have a c-section the second time will be able to share their experiences.

    I didn't have a traumatic labour / birth the first time, I think if I had I'd have been considering a section like you are - there's probably something to be said for knowing exactly when baby is going to arrive and not having an anxious wait if you go over your due date, plus having a completely different birth planned might alleviate some anxieties around labour.

    I would have thought recovery after a planned section may be easier than after an emergency one, you should be able to get some information around that, but whatever the recovery time might be, I would recommend using it as an excellent excuse to really take it easy in the early weeks after the birth and not be tempted to overdo it.

    If you feel you would rather go for a normal delivery, I would say that all of my friends who had traumatic labours with their first child had a very different experience the second time around.

    Whatever you choose, try not to worry and I hope you are feeling ok. Wishing you all the best for the coming weeks xx

  • Hi Alexandrarose,

    How lovely to hear from you again. I'm doing really well thanks. How nice to hear that you have a boy on the way - they are brilliant!

    I can understand that you'd feel nervous about the options and be dreading being away from your little girl. I haven't had a cesarean myself but my sister in law decided that as she'd had a difficult birth first time round, she would have a cesarean. For her, she still feels that this was the right option. She had counseling at the hospital in lead up to her making her decision. Is this something your hospital offers? I think the best thing to do would be to get some more advice from hospital staff, and talk to as many that have had cesareans too.

    I have read up a bit about hypnobirthing for my other sister in law who is pregnant at the moment (due 4 July - perhaps similar to you), and gets quite anxious. I just bought her these positive affirmation cards - don't know if they will help, but at least the thought is there :)

    Wishing you all the best, do keep coming back


  • Thankyou very much for your reply. And apologies for my late reply, I have been so busy moving house but now finally settled I will look into hypnobirthing :)

    Best wishes


  • hi alexandrarose,

    I just wanted to share my experience as they are quite similar to your own and will hopefully be helpful to you. What an exciting time for you at the moment, I hope you are finding time to relax, there probably feels like so much to do and think about, I know I was the same.

    I had pp in 2009 after my first child. After a straightforward pregnancy, I ended up with a back to back baby and an eventual emergency c section. It wasn't a great start and then came pp so was a horrendous time all round.

    When I had my second child, I chose an elective c section and for us it was completely the right decision. I was scared of another bad labour, even tho I'd have loved to have tried, it just seemed like too much of a risk. Everything we tried to do was to reduce stress and risk, so made sense. An elective was completely different, much calmer and although it is surgery, the recovery was straight forward. It was definitely good to have the chance to do as little as possible and get others to look after me. Having plans in place, transport etc, was important though.

    I too wanted to minimize time away from my eldest and he was a wonderful little helper whilst I put my feet up. Again, having plans in place for keeping him busy also helped us. It might sound like an exercise in risk management and in some ways it was! But it was all worth it. And the happy ending is that I stayed well after our 2nd. All the way through, we told ourselves that if the worst happened, I had recovered once, we could get through anything. And I think having an elective allowed something towards that.

    All the very best, please ask any more questions if I can be of use. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best 😊 take care, xx

  • Hello alexdrarose

    Hope you are well :) Not long to go now ....... have you decided to have an elective c-section or just to wait until the time comes? I hope all the advice and links have been helpful.

    Take it easy and relax as much as you can before your brand new son arrives ......

  • Hi Lilybeth,

    The advice and links have been a great help :)

    I have decided to book in for an elective c-section for 40 weeks but also trying to get baby engaged by walking lots and going on my birthing ball. My midwife has reassured me that second babies are usually more straight forward and he is in a good position for birth she tells me. My first baby came a week early so maybe he will be early too. I feel reassured having the cesarean in place as a back up as I really dont want to be induced (I still feel this played a part in PP in my case) and my midwife tells me if I change my mind I dont have to go through with it.

    I will keep you posted on what happens, less than a month to go! :)

    I am trying to rest but its so hard this time with a very active 18 month old and a new house to nest in! Finding it hard to sleep at night thinking of all the little jobs that need doing!

    Thanks for checking on me :)

    Take care


  • Hello Alex

    Thanks for taking the time to reply ....... it's an exciting and busy time for you! I'm glad the links were helpful. Your midwife sounds a great support.

    I hope you find time to rest in between all your multitasking :)

    Wishing you the best of times xx

  • Hello Alex

    I hope you found time to relax this weekend. Very exciting times with a new nest too!

    Take care.

  • Hi everyone,

    Quick update. I went for a 36 week growth scan and after I saw a consultant and this was the time I was told I would book in for my elective c-section. She told me because I'd already had a baby naturally and there are no medical problems I wont be offered one. All they will offer is a sweep at 39 weeks instead of 41. Looks like I dont have a choice. I was pretty upset that I'd been given false information but everything happens for a reason. I just hope he arrives soon and its not a long painful labour.

    Hope you are all keeping well :)

  • Hi alexandrarose

    I'm not sure how important the elective c section is to you, but if it is and you really feel it could help you be less stressed etc , can you get in touch with your mental health team, whoever advised you initially, and ask them to advocate on your behalf? There have been a few ladies on here who have had elective c section the second time round.

    Also do you have a care plan written up? Is the elective c section in there?

    Thinking of you and really hoping it goes well xx

  • Hello alexandrarose

    I hope you have settled into your new home and are keeping well. I wondered if your son is due shortly?

    Don't worry about replying if you are busy .... I just wanted you to know we are all thinking of you.

    Take good care.

You may also like...