This may seem a bit off topic, but we just found out yesterday baby no 2 is going to be another boy. It took serious deliberation and counselling for me to feel prepared to go through it all again after going through post partum psychosis after my first son, and I really longed for a little girl to complete our family.
I am of course thrilled by my 1st son, but have had a long held desire for a girl and some more female influence in the household. Because I was really unsure whether to put myself through it all again, this feels another blow as I know if it had been a little girl I would have felt so happy right now.
This pregnancy has also been very hard because I suffer from the pain syndrome fibromyalgia, which makes pregnancy extremely painful at times, as the baby gets heavier and is a horrible thing to endure.
I cried all last night and feel really disappointed and wondering if we should have stuck to one, as it's going to be hard enough post delivery with the possibility of the psychosis again.
This probably sounds terrible dramatic, and I'm wondering if I should go on an antidepressant again- I needed them after the post natal depression I got straight after the psychosis- as I'm feeling really low again since this news (and horribly irritable in the last 2 weeks prior) so I do feel like I might need a bit of medication. But don't want to harm the baby.
I am sure once he comes I will adore him, so I am feeling guilty on top.
I don't know if anyone has experienced this or has any empathy for the situation, it prob sounds like I'm being ungrateful. I can only talk to very few people about this as i had a lot of pressure not to have another one in the first place, so my head feels a bit mixed up.