I currently do not take any medication for my anxiety/depression. I have fought with myself for some time not to take any.
I did take anti depressants some years ago and came off them about 8 years ago as I got to a good place and felt I should come off them.
I would really prefer not to take them again for a few different reasons.
I don't seem to be getting much better, spending most days in my bedroom, no motivation, afraid of upsetting people, feeling low and emotional...left my job
I understand lots of people do take medication and it works for them ...
I feel like I've failed if I take meds because I've tried for a while not to take. So far it's worked........this time I know it would be harder to come off any medication once it is started...I'm so emotional this morning, writing this I'm in tears, coming to terms with feeling the worse I've felt, not understanding it, I've had 3 weeks in bed now ..why am I not better...watching my daughters sad face at seeing me ...I feel broken....I've always been strong,
Part of me is still up for the fight , but most of me is weak right now and scared of what will happen...
Well done for getting through such a long period without medication, although it sounds like you are having a tough time
I too haven't taken medication for anxiety/depression and I sometimes have days where I can be walking to work and I just feel like erupting into tears, feel like my life is a waste and I'll never amount to anything.
Do you find it is mentally and physically draining? One minute you're up, the next you're down. Nothing is simple, decisions are a nightmare...I've been trying to build the life I want to build for years now, and I get so close, but then have a complete lapse, all common sense and enthusiasm is taken over by extreme negativity. you then have to start the whole treck back to feeling good all over again.
You say part of you is still up for the fight, so you still have strength and positivity in you I understand when you say you feel weak but sometimes you just need to give your body and mind a rest. Try not to concentrate on the negativity you feel but don't feel that you have to get up and be bouncing around, let your mind and body heal itself and 'just be' as I always tell myself. Take small steps into finding enjoyment in things again.
Sometimes I think we give ourselves a hard time because we aren't able to shake these feelings off and get on with life. But why do we need to do things so quickly? I always use these times to refresh myself, concentrate on things the things that I love, and bring myself out of it slowly, and I have fully accepted that in a few months it will all happen again, but at least I am ready for it and will use it to my advantage
The best thing for me in the past weeks is finding this site, it' so helps to know your not alone with it. The fact that you recognise it and have felt it assists in making me feel I'm not going crazy, thank you it helps a lot.
I never cry and just lately I do a lot, I cried reading the first line of your response. Just to think someone is saying well done, as I feel weak.
I know this isn't everyones cup of tea, but this is something that has helped me so much. I read the first book 'The happiness Project' at my worst time and am now reading the second book. It's about finding enjoyment in the smaller things in life rather than thinking you should have an over-all 'enjoy every day and make everything great' outlook, because we usually think too big.
I will look at getting this, anything that may help me..
Xx
I understand, oooh i got a lump in my throat reading this. ok had a good cry ? now lets get working
You've tried to get better for weeks, lets try something else. No need to be scared of what might happen ( future thoughts) getting better................. just feels better.
If your up for it, as your not doing much today, and nor am I. I want you to disagree with all I try to say, if you do disagee with it be honest and say what you feel. That way we both learn.
Its ok to take meds and its ok to not take meds, sounds like your beating yourself up a bit, guilty feelings, not good enough feelings.mmmmmmmmm
Right
1. You cant fight yourself !!!! and anxiety is part of you, and panic and depression, is a result of us listening to our thoughts and thinking them real. This wears us down till we cant think straight.
Depression ocours when we are thinking to much about the past
Anxiety ocours when we are thinking to much about the future.
Peace lives only in the present moment.
We can't change the past, its gone, so let it go, we cant change the future because its not here yet. focus on the present. Its the only place we have, sounds scary, it isn't honest, its bloody great.
Another thing we must understand if your of a christian background is that the " THAO SHALL NOT " stuff makes us feel guilty, and that will not help in getting better.
Think on them as maybe a guide to easier living
If we mess up we learn from it, not get put in hell for ever..
What was the good place you say about 8 years ago? (a past thought depression emotion arises.)
hope there's a few points to ponder at least, I'm here if you want to talk
Hi, you have done so well not to take any meds for so long, but perhaps you just need just a little help at the moment, speak to your GP, be kind to yourself and just take each day as it comes.
Wishing you well. take care x
Hi Sue
Im so sorry you are feeling like this............ and this is only my opinion for me , not trying to tell youwhat to do, but for me, I felt like you about taking meds and wouldnt for years, but you know what think now............ bollocks to it.... why should I be miserable and have a miserable life just for the sake of taking a pill........ by doctor put it like this to me, if you had diabetes you would have to take medication to live and depression is like this............. sometimes you just need it to rebalance your body.....
Im not suggesting you should, you have to do what you feel is right.......... but you dont have to live this life when you could be enjoying it again............
Ive had depression for most of my life and find it takes over, the years have flown by because the symptoms take over and when is there a day that we feel well and happy without a small plip to disrupt are thinking.
Im looking at the mess in the house I need tidyness and order, my weight is far too high I self loathe every day for not being how I used to be, but then I listen to the seagulls, hear the trais go by and realise little things do make me happy.
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I understand when you say you feel weak but sometimes you just need to give your body and mind a rest. Try not to concentrate on the negativity you feel but don't feel that you have to get up and be bouncing around, let your mind and body heal itself and 'just be' as I always tell myself. Take small steps into finding enjoyment in things again. 
I have been on valium for over three years now. I know I am addicted to them. Help!
Convinced I am going to die
Am I suffering anxiety? 
I think I am going to faint and die
I have to go.. i have to leave this site
