i feel like at this point i’m setting myself up for failure. i’m going to rocky point tomorrow, and i’m very worried about how my anxiety is going to be. it’s in another country, so i can’t just go home and talk to my mom. i’m worried about night time and how i’ll be able to sleep, or if i’m not gonna sleep at all and go crazy.
i’m going with a group of friends and they’re all pretty excited. i wish i could agree. when i was invited i wanted to turn them down and say no because of my anxiety, but i realized enough is enough and i need to stop avoiding things because of my anxiety. i’m just worried that i didn’t make the right decision and it’ll be hell for me out there. it’s my first time being away from my family like this on my own freshly being 18, while struggling with health anxiety and panic attacks. i’m hoping it’ll be a good thing for me to get out for a while, maybe i’ll let some of my stress go while i’m there and just have fun. i’m able to put on a good front, i don’t think my friends know how bad my anxiety really is and i don’t want to ruin anybody’s good time either. i’m very worried.