Not sure what to do

[claire0410]

I have been dealing with anxiety for about six months that seemed to come from out of nowhere. I have been meeting with a psychologist since it started. I have good days - I even had about a month of feeling great and hoped that it was fading out. No such luck! After a medical issue (everything is fine) I felt like I was right back where I started. It's not so frightening anymore. I have a better understanding of what is going on and I am good at pushing through. I have tried meditation, yoga, etc. and sometimes it helps, but sometimes those things don't help. My psychologist is suggesting that it may be time to try meds and I am leaning toward going that route. Like I said, I am managing, but it is hard. I'm so tired of the up and down ride. I actually I am going into a depression along with the anxiety. Here's the real problem, my husband is totally against meds for some reason. Every time I think that it is time, he will talk about how many "good" days I have had. I try to explain to him that the "bad" days are taking too much out of me and if there is something that can help me not have or even have less "bad" days, why shouldn't I try? I know it is my decision, but I can't seem to let his opinion not color my decision, along with the fact that I am very scared about the whole med thing to begin with! I wish he would support me in this - I know he will accept my decision, but it would be easier if he was cheering me on. Thanks for listening!

[Jeff1943]

Claire, if your bad feelings become overwhelming then it is only right to take advantage of the respite that medications can bring. Only you know how you feel so it's your decision, nobody else's. If other people can't be helpful then tell them nothing. You may have family or work responsibilities that you need to keep on top of. But of course medications only bring relief and very rarely if ever result in recovery.

Whether you go for meds or not there are two other routes that can lead to recovery. The first is face-to-face therapy with a good practitioner. You're already seeing a psychologist, a good psychologist can help you recover given time.

The other is self-help methods expressed mainly in books, audio downloads and YouTube videos.

Maybe the depression you mention is because your anxiety is making you depressed. So it's secondary depression - when the anxiety is resolved the depression will yield too.

It's important to understand why we end up with anxiety disorder and it's quite simple really. For too long you must have gone through a period of stress, worry, over-work, disappointment or trauma. After a while your nerves have had enough and they become over sensitised. In this state they start to play tricks on us. We can experience panic attacks. We develop the symptoms of some major illness but medical tests prove there's nothing wrong with us. And every small easily soluble problem becomes magnified into an insummountable obstacle.

When you understand this your bewilderment should cease. And in fairness to your nervous system it's only trying to help by getting you to withdraw from the battle that's made you ill.

In that sentence lies the path to recovery - you must go along with your anxiety, you must stop fighting or battling it, you must accept all the symptoms completely for the moment, you must surrender to it utterly. Ask yourself, has 'fighting' your anxiety helped? Of course not, fighting only causes more stress and strain and that's what made you ill in the first place.

So the alternative is to Accept all the bad feelings for the time being calmly and with the minimum of fear. In that way you stop bombarding your nervous system with stress and anxiety hormones giving them a chance to lose their over-sensitivity. When you achieve that your anxiety disorder will be no more.

You can learn about the Acceptance method for recovery from anxiety disorder and how to put it into practice by reading a short book written many years ago. The American title for the book is 'Hope and help for your nerves' by Claire Weekes (telepathy tells me you are an American☺) and it's available from Amazon. Before you order it check out the Amazon reader reviews, 90% rate it very good or excellent. Some say it saved their life. It can certainly give you back your's if you are willing to practice with persistance and don't expect a quick fix.

Claire, you won't feel like this for the rest of your life. The bad feelings are going to leave you so long as you take control of your recovery and don't expect it to go away on it's own.

Your name-sake's book will explain how in simple non-medical terms and you will soon recognise yourself in its pages. I wish you God's speed in your journey to recovery.

[claire0410 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanks Jeff for your encouraging words and thoughtful answer. I realize that meds are only a band-aid type solution and won't get rid of the anxiety. I haven't read Cr Weeke's book, but I have looked at DARE book which is based on her work from what I can gather. I have been trying to accept the feelings of anxiety and all the physical things that come with it. It can very difficult when my anxiety level goes to high alert! I don't have social anxiety, phobias, or other clear cut types. I have been told I have Generalized or "free floating " anxiety. That's where I run into trouble dealing with this. I always feel if I could just pin down what I am anxious about, I could deal with it. I almost feel that I am more anxious because I really can't find something to worry about (if that makes sense)! My mind seems to be clicking through things to find something to worry about!

I have made good progress with my psychologist, I am semi-retired and work part time and I still enjoy going out with friends and family most of the time. I seem able to keep the anxiety in the background and do what I need to do and do it well. I know I am so much better off than others who struggle to function doing every day things, for which I am extremely grateful. I have read a lot of things about Dr. Weeke's work and have watched a youtube video or two. It makes sense, but I struggle putting it in action. I am going to take your advice and order the book and yes, I am American!

Again, thank you for taking the time to answer and I really appreciate that you are so positive in your posts. It is an inspiration to know that there can be recovery.