Anxiety and Relationships: 3 months ago I... - Anxiety Support

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Anxiety and Relationships

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3 months ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. Because of anxiety I walked away from a beautiful and intelligent woman that I was engaged with for 4 months. (We dated for 16 months) The anxiety was not about her or anything she did wrong... it was about her environment. She has 3 children - 13 year old daughter, 15 year old son & 17 year old daughter and the oldest daughter has severe emotional issues (borderline personality disorder), she is Jewish and I am Catholic. She has a large and very close family of about 30 people (I have a very small family. Just my 12 year old daughter, my Mother and 2 older sisters), she has a lot of friends and she is a family educator at a synagogue. With the wedding coming in 5 months and at the same time my job doubling in work load... I cracked under all the fear, insecurities and anxiety and I just when to her house and grabbed all my belongings, the jewelry I gave her (including the engagement ring) and anything that reminded her of me. It was as if I was trying to erase myself from her and her children's existence. In fact, it was like I was in a "trance"... like I wasn't really there doing those things. It happen so fast that I didn't realize that I didn't even have a letter to leave her to explain what happen. Like a complete coward, I just sent her a text message before she got home that it was over. I love her with all my heart and soul and I love her children. And 24 hours after I left her I was horrified by what I had done. I have ever done anything like this before and that is not the type of person I am. My psychologist says that my mind was in "self-preservation mode" and wanted out of this situation at any cost regardless of my love for her and her children. I also have Attention Deficit Disorder and recently discovered I also have Executive Function issues. I've been begging her to give me a second chance, however, it really hurt her and her children and I don't know if I can fix the situation. Has anyone had a similar experience?

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Maybe you just couldn't handle the situation. It's alot to be honest and no shame in it either.

See what happens but anxiety or not it sounds as though you had a hard time handling it all.

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