Out of place?

[Lostlittlegirl_]

I have a very small circle of friends. And I love ‘em! And very thankful that I have them.

But, why do I feel out of place sometimes? I know they’re not doing anything but, I think like that. So sometimes I don’t go see them.

I feel worthless and unlovable.

[WestyCMass]

So sorry to hear you are feeling that way. I felt like that in the past. Now I think it was my depression and anxiety. It sounds like that is the case with you too.

To be honest I still struggle with that feeling a bit. I have 1 “friend” who actually can be a bit rude. Sometimes I think it is me and I deserve it because I am so scattered, so I do things like interupt her when she is talking or repeat myself. She snaps at me and then I obsess over the interaction. One time it was so bad I questioned her about it via text (it had something to do with a text) ... she went back to the text to prove me wrong and then accidentally sent a text meant just for me to like 4 people, including my sisters. That was it for me. I took a break from her but she lives so close that I end up back in the same situation.

I guess what I am trying to say is that anxiety and depression can sometimes dictate how you feel about things and sometimes influence how you act. It sounds like your friends are good for you and to you.

I think more people feel like you do than you think. I sometimes think I can not believe I feel like this at my age. It seems like I am a kid trapped in my 50-something body. I ask myself why I even care. I guess everyone wants to feel loved and accepted. It sounds like your friends both love and accept you. If not, maybe it is time to find new friends (at least I tell myself that).

You are worthy. Your feelings are worthy ... but know many, many others struggle with the same thing. It is much more common than you think.

Hang in there.