New here and so tired of dealing with anxiety

[MermaidMomma]

I've had anxiety literally my entire life. It got totally out of control last January. Health anxiety, mostly. As well as driving and being in a car, leaving the house, etc.

I've been to the ER about 8x since January. Usually I take a Klonopin when I'm freaking out about health shit, then reassess. But sometimes, I just run straight to the ER. I've "had" leukemia, mouth cancer, skin cancer, lymphoma, lung cancer, brain tumor.. basically everything. All my labs come back normal. I've also been to SO many drs because any time ANYTHING hurts, in my mind it's cancer. I know it's just the anxiety likely making shit hurt, but it's so hard to shake. Even pimples I'll think are skin cancer. It's ridiculous. It's impossible to function. I'm on several meds, which seem to help 80% of the time but that's just not enough. I wanna be better. I don't like going to the ER but in the moment it feels necessary. I've had blood drawn 3x this week.

A little while ago, my hand was hot and swollen and painful. I asked my husband to feel it and he said it was hot as well. I was thinking blood clot and about to run across the street to the damn ER. Hand pain turned out to be from mixing some fucking biscuits with a spoon, and the spoon rubbing my hand. Wtf... I'm so embarrassed that my brain works like this. I'm so tired of everything always being worst case senario in my head. But I cannot control it. Idk what to do 😔

[BRI_227]

I was like that I have asthma but every time something hurt are just any little thing to the ER I go you are not along

[Usagold]

I have similar issues, but I'm not quite as quick as you to jump to negative conclusions about my health, but pretty bad (when I have an anxiety attack I am certain that I'm dying, and bad when it comes to worrying about my family. We both always expect the worst. Probably learned to worry as children. Now, we have to make a decision to change our thinking. 1. Realize we have a problem with this 2. Give all our fears to The Lord 3. Choose to start expecting positive outcomes. Believe it is NOT cancer because it's usually NOT. We will be retraining years of negative thinking but it can be done! I'm determined to change my thoughts to actually expect the best, like normal healthy people do. I'm listening to Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book "Switch on Your Brain" which is wonderful and helpful in this regard.

[Gamerfitmom]

Hugs I'm right there with you💔