Living with a difficult parent

[KatieRichie94]

My mom has done everything in the world for me and she is supportive for some of the time. Other times she is super negative towards me and tries to diagnose my health problems with what she thinks. She is so degrading and will say really negative things to me. She seems to be obsessed over what I eat and my weight. She is 70 and I'm 21. She adopted me when i was 3 days old and i just don't think that she can deal with my personality. She is more close minded and judgmental. I am more open minded and accepting. It drives me crazy because one day we get along so well then the next day hell breaks loose. I go off on her sometimes because she just drives me so crazy. I need advice. She does have some health issues, such as multiple sclerosis and I believe she needs to be on zoloft, but she refuses to continue taking it.

[denvajade]

Hi Katie first of all let me say I am sorry for how things are at times with your mum.

I think any age gap can cause issues with mum and daughters, my daughter and I can get on really good then it goes to pooh ( excuse that) both my daughter and myself have health issues including depression so we regularly end up with not agreeing and her being angry with me. Both you and your mum are unwell which causes "a short fuse" also the world has changed so much that being older we are shocked as to how life is now and morally we are not as open minded.

Being closer to your mums age I understand some of her frustration, may I suggest you try a nice quiet talk with her saying you appreciate all she has done for you, show her loving kindness and mention that at times she hurts you emotionally. As parents we occasionally take libertys and say things which we should not ie weight and food!

Perhaps when she says anything that upsets you just acknowledge it and walk away. Interestingly my son and I rarely have a disagreement and when I asked him why he said " I just say to myself oh the silly old bag and walk away"

Try hard to have a nice relationship with your mum as her years are numbered compared to you. And you don't want regrets when she is gone.

Re your health what anti depressants are you on? Sometimes they can cause anxiety, talk to your doctor about that and with your bowel do you take probiotics? They help a lot, I also take parsley and garlic tablets each day. Maybe worth a try.

I wish you well and understand your frustration with yourmumbecause I know I cause my daughter the same.

[KatieRichie94 in reply to denvajade]

Thank you very much for your input!

I don't even get why she brings up certain stuff. I'm actually titrating off klonopin and a sleeping pill. I just switched birth control methods and that is seeming to cause me a lot less anxiety

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hi KatieRichie94 i know what you mean my mum is 72 and i'm 48 and she tries to tell me when she does speak which isn't very often in fact i'm glad she doesn't but my heart goes to to you, you have enough to cope with not having your mum having a go as well. you are a lovely person you don't need this take care bigalan

[73cuda]

I can so relate to the age diff. issues. Both my parents are almost 90 and i'm only 40. It gets more interesting when mum brings up and torments with stuff my much older brother did yet she thinks it was me.