I can’t cry

[PersephoneGreen]

My anxiety is through the roof lately, I can literally feel the weight on my chest and I have the urge to scream or cry but I can’t get it out. Or when I feel like it might come out it’s at totally random times where it’s not really appropriate. It’s like my brain is saying “bitch we don’t got time to cry, we have to hit these marks and then you can cry”. The lyrics to Taylor swift’s new song (don’t judge me) “I can do it with a broken heart” are really summing up how I feel, except the part where she says she cries all the time. I need the release from crying or even screaming but I can’t even do that and I just keep pushing it down. I can feel it in my stomach, I’m not hungry and eating makes me more nauseous. I can barely brush my teeth in the morning I’m so nauseous as soon as I wake up. I also feel like I’m losing my mind because I keep losing things, like my favorite ring, my sunglasses, and my wallet all within a week and I think it’s because I am in such a rush I keep going to put things in my pockets and don’t realize I missed my pocket and I have no idea where these things are, increasing my anxiety even more. No one else seems to notice though because everyone says how put together and organized I appear.

[Agora1]

And I'm sure you do look All together and organized because you are good at fooling

others, although a little harder to fool yourself. We can only sweep things under the

carpet for so long. Eventually, that bump under the carpet starts to show itself through

physical symptoms we feel. You apparently have even trained yourself to hold in your

emotions which makes you unable to cry or scream. Something that can help release

all that stress you're holding in is therapy. Medication would just numb you but at this

point you need to express, accept and let go. I'm glad you are with us. xx

[CLB1125]

do you get angry at losing your things? Or that you can’t cry and release the emotions? Now this is just a suggestion….they have what are called rage rooms or smash rooms. It’s a controlled environment where you can go in and smash , throw things until your anger is gone. I’m thinking of doing this. My anxiety turns to anger. Then I'm mad at everything and everyone. I told my husband I wanted a punching bag!!!

[PersephoneGreen in reply to CLB1125]

My anxiety also turns to anger. I wish we had a rage room nearby but the closest one is 2 hours away. I have also told my husband I want a punching bag and as a former boxer he is all about it, but we don’t have the space for it. So it usually ends up coming out by crying because I get so angry I can’t hit anything. I went for a long walk in the woods with the dog today which helped a little. Feels better to hear other people’s anxiety makes them angry too and it’s not just me