I'm angry with myself

[Sol-]

Does anyone else get angry with yourself when you feel yourself going back down into hell?

I've had a lot of good days, like really good days, this last month. More good days than bad. I was even getting back into some of my projects, and feeling like I was finally through the worst of it.

Then yesterday, I got so low for no reason. Nothing happened yesterday to set me off. I just started crying and couldn't stop. Last night I dreamed again about people I love dying, which I haven't done in weeks. I'm so low right now. I can't stand myself. I can't stand the thoughts that come into my head, this obsession with dying. I hate that my brain is doing this to me.

I don't know, I just hate myself for doing this to myself.

[UnBaked_Cake]

I Often get angry with myself, and snap at people who do not deserve it because I'm overwhelmed with my emotions.

What I can offer is, breathing exercises. Listen to music! Take time to yourself and go on a walk. Dedicate a day entirely to you and allow yourself room to breathe. You got this; I believe in you.

[Ellamaye]

Yeah I get angry with myself. I'm glad you've had more good days than bad recently. I never know how I will feel when I wake up each morning and I have a mantra I say to myself...this will pass.... and it usually does. But lately I kept having bad day after bad day and did get scared that the next morning wouldn't bring a good day. But then it did . I had 1 good day then back to bad so now waiting for next good day😞

[PoseyLane]

Yep, I get angry at myself too. I told my therapist yesterday that I sometimes get so disregulated and wish I was "normal." I told her I cried over the fact I had to wait 30 days to return the most uncomfortable matress - I can't get sleep. I said to her, who reacts like that?!! It is so ridiculous! She said, it wasn't about the mattress; it was about the stress and other things going on in your life. That made me feel better. However, I just wish I was "normal" and happy. I get it.