i can’t keep doing this

[anxious_depressed]

i feel like I keep going through the same cycle over and over again. im so tired. will it ever actually get better ?

[gajh]

Yes it can actually get better. What have you tried so far? Have you tried medication and/or therapy?

[Barbloki]

Hi anxious_depressed, when I read your post I thought it was something that I wrote. I say those words all the time. I feel like I'm stuck in a loop and I can't get out of it. It's the same old thoughts and emotions over and over and over. I beat myself up for the bad decisions I have made and seem to just keep making more bad decisions that pile onto my pile of crap that's in my brain. I wish I could wipe my brain clean. I'm tired of waking up with pounding heart and anxiety and feeling anxious all day. It finally wears off by about 5pm and then I can actually feel relaxed at night. I'm depressed and lonely. To make a long story short, we were living in our house, I was doing pretty well managing my anxiety and depression, had some friends, activities, church, etc. Then a jerk neighbor moved in and started blasting music at all hours. It went on for 4 years and one day I snapped and told my husband we have to sell this house and move. It was the fastest move ever. We moved too far away from everything and into the rural boonies. I've lost my friends and activities and church. I have to start life all over again and I'm 61 years old. It's hard to start over. We don't live in a neighborhood. There's only 1 other house nearby. We live in the country with no one around in a tiny town with no services. We can't even get pizza delivered out here. I am isolated and I feel awful every single day. I regret moving here but my husband spent a lot of his inheritance to buy this house and we can't move again. We've only been here 10 months. I have been ruminating on this for 10 months. Over and over and over. Why why why did I make such a bad decision? Why didn't we stay in that area but go to a different neighborhood away from the noisy neighbor? I have been working with a therapist for a year now and she hears it every week, the same old thing. I can't seem to break the cycle. Sorry, I meant for that to be a short story. Anyway, welcome to the group and you are not alone in how you feel. I've been on this group for a few weeks and have seen many many people writing the same thing. Now the question is: HOW DO WE FIX OURSELVES?!!