Would appreciate any support❤

[Rose23456]

Hi all im going through a really tough time now, and I would appreciate any support.The last few months have been really difficult for me. I developed severe ptsd as a result of a traumatic situation at work. I have always had social anxiety but my social anxiety has reached an all time high. When I walk on the street and I see someone, it causes me to have a startle reflex and my legs shake while walking near them. Also, with my friends and cousins and people I know I developed severe anxiety and I sound extremely impatient and disinterested. This causes people to take it personally and get hurt and feel I dont like them so they distance themselves from me or act cold towards me. I dont have such a close relationships with most people I come in contact with so I'm not able to tell them my anxiety is because of ptsd. Also, i dont know how to say it a a way that doesnt sound weird. For example, when i pick up a phone call from someone, i cant preface the conversation by saying that i have ptsd and thats why i sound extremely impatient and nervous. Some just assume im in a hurry and ask me if now is a good time to speak and i say yes. Some become defensive and speak in a critical harsh and impatient tone back to me. Even though I try to slow down my speech, it comes out extremely snappy.

Also, sometimes strangers on the street misinterpret my anxious behaviors and become wary of me and give me judgemental looks and step back when they see me or yell at me.

All these instances further increase my social anxiety and cause me to get stuck in a negative cycle.

I feel a strong lack of love and I dont know where to get love from. I feel like im deteriorating emotionally and physically. I have lost my appetite.

I lost my mother to cancer and my dad has anxiety too and has a hard time being emotionally supportive.

I went to many therapists during my time at work when I was going through a traumatic time and many therapists dismissed me and told me I was making up what was happening. Therefore, they couldnt give me proper advice to deal with my work situation. This caused me to suffer from traumatic invalidation. Thank Gd I recently found a therapist that validated me and was shocked with the behavior of my past 4 therapists.

Looking back I realized I should have slowly explained my work situation and have spoken about it in a serious manner. The reason the therapists didnt listen to the details of what was happenning and easily didmissed what i was saying was probably because i would speak in a non-serious joking kind of way and I didnt clearly explain it.

I wish my life can go back to normal and my ptsd can be cured.

I will be starting emdr therapy this week.

Did anyone try emdr thereapy and have success? I would really like to bring my excessive startle response back to normal and be able to calmy talk to people to build relationships and reconnect with my friends.

In the meantime, I am sufferring tremendously from a lack of love and anger and judgement from people that don't know that Im sufferring from ptsd and that my anxious speech and avoidant behavior is because of ptsd and not because Im impatient or cold.

I would really appreciate any words of hope, support, and advice esspecially if you have had ptsd or know of someone that had ptsd and treated it and their life became normal again. I really dont want to stay like this forever. Im barely functioning now and I am constantly exhausted and extremely lonely. Staying home is super lonely and painful and leaving the house is more painful.

I tried medication and it hasnt worked for me. Is there anything I can try that is low risk or risk free that will help treat anxiety?

[Hidden]

TMS is being used successfully to treat PTSD in Veterans.

[SayNOtoPanic]

Sorry you’re struggling Rose! So glad you found a good therapist and I encourage you to stick to it and try all the different tools offered to address the ptsd. Have you tried any audible books for hypnosis? Hypnosis is great for ptsd and there’s a lot of hypnosis CDs that focus on positive affirmation and gaining strength which may help with social anxiety. Also books for Dr Weekes Hope and Help for your nerves! Praying for you. Hang in there.

[Rose23456 in reply to SayNOtoPanic]

Thank you so much. I have tried hypnosis before but I havent tried it for this ptsd. That seems like a good idea. Thank you💕

[Coolsfancy]

I understand what you’re going through.

I broke my back in 3 different places last April.

I understandably what it’s like to feel social anxiety.

I’m just now feeling better from my back.

In the meantime I’ve spent most of the last year being inside and not engaging with people.

What has helped me is journaling how I feel.

The process of journaling is to write how you’re feeling and then going back to see how far you’ve come.

It’s really helped me a lot.

This past year I’ve reflected from journaling and it’s really helped me understand who in my life is really interested in me and who is not.

Today for the first time in a long time I’m seeing my therapist.

I’ve been really fortunate to have my psychiatrist going on 21 years and seeing a therapist whom is also really helpful.

I would suggest journaling and don’t give up finding a therapist, there is someone out there that you can trust and be helpful to you.

Peace and love ❤️ to you.

[Rose23456 in reply to Coolsfancy]

Thank you. Hope you feel better soon💕

[Dolphin14]

I have PTSD. I have done EMDR and it was very helpful.

PTSD takes a huge amount of work to stabilize. I'm not really sure if it ever goes away. We can learn better coping skills for our symptoms but there are no guarantees that we will never be triggered again.

I think you have to get to know yourself better. That's what I had to do. It's taken me years of therapy to understand how I " operate" with PTSD

Continue your therapy. I wish you the best of luck

🐬

[Rose23456 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you. After doing emdr therapy, which symptoms have you noticed got better?

[Dolphin14 in reply to Rose23456]

The whole process sort of set me free. I'm going to tell you straight out it's very hard and draining to do. Emotions run high every session.

Working through the scenes of my trauma with the therapist opened my eyes to certain things I had buried. Lots of fear I was trying to keep stuffed inside me. I saw things through a different lens

But I didn't stop there. I was doing talk therapy with it and then I went on to do IFS therapy as well. All these things combined over many years and I have reached some balance and peace in my life.

I'm still triggered but I cope much better with things. I have better coping skills than I ever had.

[Rose23456 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you so much glad to hear you are doing better.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Rose23456]

You are welcome. We do have a PTSD site here on HU just to let you know.

[Marysblue in reply to Dolphin14]

Didnt know that

[Dolphin14 in reply to Marysblue]

Yes very safe supportive community. Many of us are on both

🐬

[Marysblue]

I do suffer with PTSD. Most people don't understand PTSD or depression and anxiety. Your new therapist and the EMDR sound like you're making good progress. Have you tried the herb ashwagandha for stress? If it works for you , you'll see a difference in 2 to 3 weeks. It lowers your stress hormone. Just know that there are others that have your same Journey. And are here for you.

[Rose23456 in reply to Marysblue]

Thank you.

[Callie456]

Hi Rose,

I found this website that has lots of information, plus there are online activities you can do to practise strategies. I know it's aimed at defence personell, but its relevant to anyone with ptsd.

ptsd.va.gov/apps/ptsdcoacho...

Hope the emdr is helping.

Take care xox