How do you get the motivation to get out of bed?

[BlueKentucky]

I am so depressed and I can't seem to even get the motivation to get out of bed. I have no support from my family with my depression and I am so tired of my husband telling me to snap out of it. I have been unable to keep a job for no longer than 2 years which puts even more stress on my family. My husband and even my oldest 26 year old son who lives with us also, are always making me feel like I am a failure in life especially when it comes to me not working. I do doordash and grocery delivery to try to help with bills. I have sold stuff online, dabbled in landscape photography and dropshipping tee shirts that I design. But even with all that I do to try to make money plus keeping a house cleaned, fixing broken things around the house, everyone's laundry, cooking dinners, taking care of my son's hyper dog and still try to keep everyone else happy in my house. Because my husband and son have stressful jobs, and bring that stress home and throwing the anger and frustration at me with their words. There is only so much a mother and wife can take. I feel like no matter what I do, it will never be good enough for my family.

[Therapist104]

It's okay. I think that your family loves you very much and that they don't mean anything they say. You have so much more worth than you think. You can message me of you need someone to talk to.

[AnxiousSilver]

"I am so depressed and I can't seem to even get the motivation to get out of bed."

First and foremost, I want to welcome you to this group.

This group and this community has been good to me, and I am grateful for the people that are here.

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Second, I am going through a lot of "struggling to get out of bed" stuff myself lately.

I wish that I had the answer for you. Then again, I wish that I had the answer for myself as well ATM.

For me, I think that I'm just overwhelmed by a lot of things (both present and future) and it's been a struggle. (but I'm "trying" to do the best that I can)

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What I can say that's "hopefully helpful" is that, "You're not going to be judged here".

& Sometimes just talking things out can be helpful. (and hopefully useful)

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Either way, I want to welcome you here, and I hope that you find the help that you need soon.

Take care.

[Blueruth]

if I could talk to them I would explain how much the work you do is worth monetarily. I read 170k. Live in house maid, caregiver, accountant maybe, personal shopper, supplemental wage earner and sympathetic ear. I’d be deflated too.

I read advice about taking time for yourself as a way to be more productive. So even if you have to wait until they leave doing something you enjoy. Perhaps a hobby or coffee. Yoga… You could brainstorm here.

I made my way back by having muffins and coffee ready. Not the healthiest but it got me up because I didn’t have to think. That’s more important. Eventually I added things like Zentangle while I had coffee. Then a better breakfast and pour over coffee. It is still my ritual.

[Midori]

Your family appear to lean on you as their rock, but if what they say hurts you then you need to stand up and tell them they are being unkind because it sounds to me like borderline abuse.

Your husband needs to understand that you cannot just 'Snap out' of Depression. and telling you to do so just makes you feel worse. In some ways it's like grief, it takes it's own sweet time, and those around you need to understand that their actions and words have a great bearing on how you feel, especially when you are fragile, emotionally.

Do your husband and son do anything within the household? Or is it all left to you?

Why does your son not find himself accommodation elsewhere? That would help for starters, and get the manic dog out of the place.

I would be reluctant to get out of bed too, given all this to do, but if you stay in bed, you will find you will end up curled up like a dead spider, as your muscles will contract and leave you unable to do anything for yourself. OK, its extreme, but as a retired nurse, I have seen patients like this, who have just taken to their beds.

Are you on any tablets from the doctor? I suggest that you need something, so please see your doc.

How would your family cope if you upped sticks for a few weeks and just left them to it? Maybe it's time to teach them this lesson 'Appreciate what they have, or they might lose it!'

I've been where you are, I took steps, big ones! I'm still trucking after 35 years! I'm 75 , BTW!

Cheers, Midori