"Hide your anxiety". "Don't say you have anxiety" feels like "hide your zombie bite". Should we hide our anxiety and depression?

[Against_the_current]

Really? Should we? Feels like we're some sort of monsters for struggling. It doesn't feel right.

[Vicss]

Not at all. People struggle because they feel they have to hide their feelings when they are low and anxious. This is the time we need to reach out…your good friends will stick by you and some will go by the wayside that you didn’t expect but hiding your feelings will only make things worse. Tell the truth and share what is going on for you but also try to make the time to ask what is going on for them - this is something I find hard when I am deeply stuck. It is also ok to just be silent together. We are not meant to be isolated ❤️

[Against_the_current in reply to Vicss]

Agree. I have no problem reaching out but people don't get it as an attempt for help but for a reason to discriminate which is sad because it's just being honest

[Lve2dance in reply to Vicss]

True..real friends do not judge.. It's why no shade to some of my family but I consider my friends often like family.. And of course every one here.. A real hug is great but this is like millions of people virtually hugging you.

[Against_the_current in reply to Lve2dance]

X🤗

[Lve2dance in reply to Against_the_current]

If you ever want to message off the forum as well.. I am here...

[Against_the_current in reply to Lve2dance]

Thanks, same

[Bill181]

Sometimes I feel like I should hide what I feel cause why open up when I do I get judged for it

[Against_the_current in reply to Bill181]

Yeah, that feeling is heavy

[Vicss in reply to Bill181]

I guess to just freely express yourself as you are and if others want to judge then that is about them. It’s hard I know when you are feeling vulnerable but I think it’s about trying not to care if someone wants to be mean enough to judge and not just be interested in what you are saying as a person x you are important and everything that you say is valuable ❤️

[Against_the_current in reply to Vicss]

Thank you x❤️

[Skjones in reply to Bill181]

I often feel that way with my wife due to her lack of belief in mental health due to her culture

[Bill181 in reply to Skjones]

That also .in Hispanic culture they dnt believe in any depression type

[Against_the_current in reply to Bill181]

Same in East europe

[Vicss in reply to Skjones]

It is the same for me. My husband doesn't struggle with anxiety so thinks I'm being dramatic or not trying hard enough. I actually struggle with dissociation which I've never had before so trying to manage that at the same time as trying to explain myself is incredibly difficult when you don't feel connected to the world or your own body. It's so strange and then meds can exacerbate that and you have to try and give it a chance to settle!

[Willow2022]

Mentally illness as a whole is so overused. I heard “depressed”, “OCD”, “panic attack” and “triggered” thrown around so casually and often it doesn’t fit the situation. Being sad for a day doesn’t equal depression. Losing on a video game doesn’t mean you are triggered. Having a clean house is not the same as OCD. And on and on. I find I don’t say anything because now it doesn’t have the same meaning that I hear people using it for.

[Against_the_current in reply to Willow2022]

And at the same time when you really have it, you can't talk about it 😟

[Willow2022 in reply to Against_the_current]

Exactly

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Willow2022]

I have also heard those words misused too often.

It's nice knowing I'm not the only one.

[Blueruth]

I wouldn’t volunteer it at work. It is discrimination to be fired because of that so they will never say but they do it. That’s why there are privacy laws. In the US you can get time off without explaining it to your supervisor so there is no need.

[Against_the_current in reply to Blueruth]

Here we can't and it's messed up

[Blueruth in reply to Against_the_current]

You don't have to volunteer it though

[Hidden]

It is hard to reach out. Honestly, I never talk to anyone I know any more about my struggles. I use to talk to my aunt, but she passed away earlier this year. So now I just do the best I can. Keeping busy helps though.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

I'm sorry. You're on the right path sharing here

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Thank you.

[Misunderstood86]

Never had anyone that I could really talk to

[Against_the_current in reply to Misunderstood86]

I'm sorry, you can talk to us here

[Misunderstood86 in reply to Against_the_current]

Thanks

[designguy]

I don't think we should hide it unless we are in a situation where it wouldn't be in our best interest to reveal it. For instance, if I was new and working in a company, I would make sure I could trust the people I worked with before opening up about it. There is still a stigma about mental health issues in some countries and companies.

[Against_the_current in reply to designguy]

Unfortunately and this is what happened to me

[designguy in reply to Against_the_current]

Sorry to hear that.

[Against_the_current in reply to designguy]

Sorry too

[SoporRose]

It's a balancing act. We need to admit to through what we are going in order to get the help we need and to decrease stigma, but we also need to be aware that our struggles also can wear down the people who support us. I haven't found the right way to walk that line yet.

Beyond that, I agree with what everyone else has written. I think the discussion around the casual use of terms describing mental illnesses is important. How do we reclaim these words so they have meaning again?

[Vicss in reply to SoporRose]

Yes exactly it is a balancing act. If you feel you are in a bad place you need to express it because keeping it inside is not good. You can find friends who will stay with you through this, maybe not always in the same way but they will be there and you can get your relationship back when you feel better. I have lost a lot of friends as I have been ill for a while but there are people there but I just can’t see them yet and that will come. The best place for me is a support group - that’s a good place to start. They are all strangers but are all struggling and I have found it helpful. I can talk or sit quiet or be a zombie or cry and it’s ok. Maybe that’s a good place for a lot of people who are struggling too? Of course you have to find some resources yourself too….it’s a mixture x I wish everyone peace 💕

[SoporRose in reply to Vicss]

Nice reply! Thanks.

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

Agree to you both 💕

[Tara52]

I have had to learn to be discerning about who I share personal struggles with, Most people are judgmental especially those who haven't experienced anxiety disorders.

[Against_the_current in reply to Tara52]

Unfortunately

[Daesin in reply to Tara52]

You also have to balance the volume that you share so you don’t burn people up. When people try to help and you lash out at them due to anxiety or fear they will only tolerate that so many times before they’re done.

This is why we have mental health professionals. They are trained to understand a particular issue and the best way to address it. It might not feel good, it usually doesn’t, when we have to swallow a hard truth. But it is the path to healing. Best of luck

[Lve2dance]

Exactly.. It's like a choice... We can work through it but we can't just wake up and decide ok it's, totally gone.

[Against_the_current in reply to Lve2dance]

Yeah and a lot of People don't understand it

[bethelbee]

I don't hide my struggles. I don't tell everyone but I don't hide them. Keeping them in is not healthy. I lost a long time friend(of 54 years)who had been supportive for a long time. We haven't spoken in a year. She really hurt me, said some hurtful things..... Most who never experienced depression/anxiety etc will never understand what we experience.

[Against_the_current in reply to bethelbee]

Unfortunately. And you're right, keeping isn't healthy. I'm sorry for what happened

[bethelbee in reply to Against_the_current]

Thank you. I am so very hurt by her and I think it has also affected the friendship between one of our other friends and myself even though nothing specific has happened between that other friend and myself.(and that other friend has been on meds for a while so I know she understands) There are 4 of us who were friends since 7th grade(as I mentioned before 54 years)... The 4th one I can still talk to..

[Against_the_current in reply to bethelbee]

I'm sorry. Sometimes when someone does us wrong, it triggers anxiety and frustration and then we react that way to the whole thing. Idk but it's what is happening to me

[Against_the_current]

Exactly! 🙌