Pretzel Logic

[Catsamaze]

I’ve got myself so twisted up that I’m facing forward and looking backward. I have this anxiety thing figured out. Finally! And then I feel a symptom or two and I’m plunged back into a vicious cycle of fear that it’s happening again and angry at myself for letting it. And so it goes until I get a foothold and climb out of the hole. Until it happens again. I know that setbacks happen but I’m in a place now where they happen so fast I get whiplash. It’s all fear based. So hard for me to have self-compassion though I have lots of compassion for others. Why is that? (Rhetorical question!). Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. Real hard for me. Ok, time to do some deep breathing. I am lucky enough to have a loving partner, family, and great friends. But I don’t want to go to the well too often by telling them how particularly bad I’m feeling yet again. That’s one of the great things about this forum. There’s always water in the well no matter how many times I drink from it. I’m grateful for that.

[rgarza3895]

I feel that. I have really great moments and then suddenly I get that familiar funny feeling and my stomach turns and my vision gets weird and I’m like ok it’s still there lol and I know it’s always gonna be there and it’s natural what I’m feeling but it’s really hard for me not to beat myself and be kind of angry. I’m like ugh again. And then I’m like wait don’t think like that. It’s all part of the process I guess lol

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to rgarza3895]

Thanks rgarza. Though I don’t wish this on anyone it’s good to hear I’m not alone. It is unfortunately par for the course and you seem to have a good attitude about it!

[rgarza3895 in reply to Catsamaze]

I try. Sometimes I have to trick myself into a good attitude even when I feel terrible. I just try to have hope bc if I don’t have hope then I don’t think I’d get through it. You aren’t alone. I find a lot of comfort knowing I’m not either.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to rgarza3895]

😊

[propjock]

Sounds so familiar, though distant. I would feel elated that I understood, or was cured, or was healed. Peak and crash!

Very insightful about self-compassion. It seems we humans either have none, or too much. Ever meet a person who is never wrong, or never takes responsibility for anything?

It is a difficult thing, to train your brain when it’s your brain that’s broken.

You can lean on us, as long and often as you need. We have boundaries. We take breaks.

[propjock]

I’ve come to accept it as “something that happens.” It’s not our fault that we sail on stormy seas. We get good at riding them out.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to propjock]

Good metaphor. Thx....