So the situation is this...I know for sure I have depression. My Symptoms started to manifest itself when I moved away in college. A lot of the depression there came from living alone (technically with roommates, but never with someone I wanted to be with). But once I started to take Prozac and spend more time talking to my boyfriend (still together, we were long distance at the time) , I felt a lot better and I didn't want to go back. But I know I had deeper feelings of guilt at home. Plus I knew I needed more experience hours after college and it could be easily found near my parents than where I was in my small college town.
So here I am. I finished my degree online (there's always one or two classes that need to be done at the end lol) and started getting enough experience to build up my application for PT school. The plan was to move out when I got into school. So I spent a little over a year taking the GRE during COVID, continuing to work a high paced outpatient clinic which got too stressful for me, and getting recommendation letters together. I finally applied, got interviewed and nailed every single one. I got into most of the schools and I was so excited to have my pick of where to go. I settled on a neighboring state school since it was away from my parents but not far enough for it to be impossible to get to.
But as I'm going through the process of enrolling, trying to find a spot, trying to get a roommate, leasing without a full time job, and a whole bunch more. I realized that I'd be knees deep in debt and stuck in an unpredictable situation at an unestablished PT program. I decided it would be best to just give it up. I asked one of the programs close to my parents house (which was the cheapest of all my options) to hold my spot until next year while I figure things out and they graciously agreed.
So here I am now. Still stuck at home and wondering what was this whole year about? I want to make things work best for my depression. Being near family and friends has helped that tremendously. I want to wait until my boyfriend gets his savings up and we could move in together. I want to make this work because I know I'll be kicking myself in the future if I drown myself in debt all for the sake of escaping my family.
But how do I deal with the depression that I've been dealing with? How do I change things? I've been seeing a therapist for over a year now and her responses were always leaning towards moving out. But how does that fix anything? Aren't there deeper rooted issues that I need to over come? There's a huge chance that even if I move, I'll never truly be happy with what I have.
My parents are currently going through a divorce...they're in their 70s. And the divorce was filed ever since Dec 2019. But between the diaster that is COVID and the fact that my dad is constantly bringing new evidence at every case without consulting lawyers first or submitting it into evidence before meeting, this whole process has been taking a while. It's made living here insane. My parents always bicker at each other. When I come home from work, I don't expect to get peace. Instead I know they're both going to ask me to do things for them, things that involve calling people on their behalf so I need to carve out time in my schedule just for them. Not to mention the fact that there's no privacy where I sleep (my room is a railway room, so my mom has to walk into my room in order to get to her own room). My mom's a hoarder so her stuff is everywhere and there's barely room for anyone else's things.
I know I sound ungrateful but, I'm so tired of everything around here. How do I fix this?
Living with anxiety & depression
How do you?
How Do I manage?
How do you manage obsessive thoughts? 
How do you deal with your depression?
