Somewhat new - Sudden Anxiety

[8furbabies]

Hi , I have different health issues like everyone here. I have been dealing with a 40 year old verbally and emotionally abusive son who is addicted to meth and a hubby that is getting plain mean,no compassion or caring and starting to act like his parents did when they both got early on set dementia. No support but pray a lot. Taking good care of myself but am having sudden attacks of insomnia.

[Tidus]

I'm sorry you have to deal with so much! We are glad you are here and can share. Have you tried seeking professional help? Addiction is a horrible disease and just try to know that isn't your son, it's the disease, and look into local programs or even involving the authorities for forceful sobriety. Whatever the case, I hope things get better! You aren't alone we are always here to listen!

[8furbabies in reply to Tidus]

Thank you Tidus - I have not been able to get any help and Have called different agencies. I am ill but have not left my home in over a year,if leave he steaks things from my room, he has destroyed my home,my marriage and daily refers to me s bitch or c nt. Yells and barks orders constantly, Will not leave or work and makes daily messes for me to clean,threw out my clothes because he thinks I stold or hid his socks, all my forks and spoons are missing - 13 sets so far, eats 5 pounds pf sugar in 2 days, never cleans up after himself or covers things, Built a tent fort in back with people coming day n night,

[finefrenzy127]

Thank you for sharing! Does your son live with you? If so, you can get him sectioned to a 25 day rehab- it would start the process. You should totally remove yourself from his life for now, do not enable him by allowing him to live off of you when he is so abusive. He needs to hit rock bottom to wake up and realize he needs help! Addicts are very selfish people, trust me I know I was one - 6 years sober!

[8furbabies in reply to finefrenzy127]

Thank you, but no one can help they said until he actually hits me. Have him on tape saying he will kill me one day but police and drug clinic said it is not enough yet. They taught me de-escalations techniques that have helped.

[finefrenzy127 in reply to 8furbabies]

Not true! You can go to the court house and request a Section 35. The order allows someone to be civilly committed and treated involuntarily for substance abuse. You then go in front of the judge and explain why your son should be sectioned. Judge will then make a ruling and a warrant will be issued to pick him up. If you decide to go, in the paperwork you need to say that you feel he is a danger to himself and others and you fear for your well being! It is frustrating to hear that no one could help you or even steer you in the right direction! They told you that was not enough yet??? Unbelievable! What you are dealing with right now, that is ENOUGH! You do not deserve any abuse whatsoever, physical or emotional! You can find information regarding the section 35 in your state on line.

[8furbabies in reply to finefrenzy127]

I promise to look into this in the morning. Just resting right now.This has really taken a toll on me. Even when I think I a calm my body is not. I am surrounded on all 3 sides by meth houses. I am always on guard. i am going to take my bp pressure pills and a nap.

[finefrenzy127 in reply to 8furbabies]

I will say a pray for you! Please reach out anytime! 😇

[8furbabies in reply to finefrenzy127]

Thank you, PLEASE DO PRAY FOR ME - 3 years of this ! Detectives in new england had him fired from his job and he has been here ever since. Need to rest now, swollen; God bless and stay safe n well. Good night to all.

[finefrenzy127 in reply to 8furbabies]

Im in New England as well, I can be more useful since I know the MA system. Good night

[8furbabies in reply to finefrenzy127]

in fla

[hypercat54 in reply to 8furbabies]

The authorities might not be able to legally do anything yet but you are allowed to kick anyone out of your home you want to. As long as their name isn't on the house details that is. There might be a ruling in your state that before you make anyone homeless you have to give a certain notice period so look into that. If he still refuses to go then you can get the bailiffs to evict him. I know you might not want to go this far but sometimes needs must.

I presume you own your house? If you rent of course you can easily move out and find somewhere else.

[8furbabies in reply to hypercat54]

Own but if person gets so much as an advertisement in mail , here police say they are a resident if they can prove they have lived here a certain amount of time.

[Lazy_dog_lover]

Wow, 8furbabies, that is a lot to be dealing with. I am not surprised you have insomnia. I would think that is a normal response to the trauma.

Do you have family or friends that are helping you? Can hubby go on a fishing weekend so he can refresh?

What do you want to do about your son? Is he actively using? Please don't let him make you feel guilty for anything. I do not have a lot of experience with people on meth, but I saw a documentary and saw the manipulation, theft, and lies that kept them in their drug.

Do you have a counselor? I think having a safe, local person to strategize with would be helpful. It is not something you should face alone. Are any of his old friends still local and clean? Maybe reach out to them for help with an intervention.

Confrontation to either son or hubby on your own is not safe. Let us know how we can help. Be safe.

[8furbabies in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

All family in New England but they said no dogs,will Not give up my dogs, birthed them when mom had them. Relatives here want nothing to do with us. 5 minutes away, mom n brother.

I am gonna go ahead with uncontested divorce,hubby wants it too,sell home,split monies,and go our sepeaate ways.Best fur all, he choose son. We were together since 1980.

[8furbabies in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Most of his friends back up north but used too many and lost many here but makes new ones quickly.Actively using

[jre1986]

Im sorry to read this. Have you tried meditation? Check out dr joe dispenza he helped me as well as the calm app

[8furbabies in reply to jre1986]

Yes, I do too many different ones throughout the day to mention right now

[lillyofthevalley37]

I don't know what medication you are on but GABA is good for getting you off to sleep I bought some 500mg capsules and I open the capsule and just have a sprinkling of it and it helps me to sleep you can buy it online God Bless you and take care of you

[8furbabies in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Clonidine, Cytomel, Magnesium,B12,B Complex,herbals,etc,...

[lillyofthevalley37 in reply to 8furbabies]

OK has the insomnia and anxiety gone away yet ?

[8furbabies in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

no, but I am cutting out all caffeine

, darken my room more and stop using the liquid b12 at night. Maybe put on some low fish tank sounds and darken the computer screen,or simply turn everything off and do breathing.

[lillyofthevalley37 in reply to 8furbabies]

I think coffee at breakfast is ok , I hope you fall back into a good sleeping routine

[8furbabies in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Just has a cup, Good Sunday morning to you

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome,

I am sorry for what is happening to you. You deserve to be happy. We are here for support.

[8furbabies in reply to Hidden]

Thank You

[DIsneyQueen]

I am so sorry you are going through this. You have gotten much better advice from people here who seem to know much better than I, so I will do the only thing I can and that is the let you know that you are in my prayers 🙏🙏🙏😇

[8furbabies in reply to DIsneyQueen]

Amen

[Hidden]

Hi 8furbabies, I’m sorry for your troubles. One resource that may be of help is nar-anon, a support group for the friends & family members of addicts. Their website is: nar-anon.org.

[8furbabies in reply to Hidden]

Non here in this area,may look for an online one

[DENVAL]

Pray...

Listen to Matthew Kelly on YouTube...

[8furbabies in reply to DENVAL]

Always Praying and will listen,Thank You