why do people delete posts?

[13ga]

like the attractive traits in people post - it's gone.

thought that was an interesting thread... why would butticup? delete it?

or other posts that looks like they didn't even survive 12 hours...

[Agora1]

13ga, yes, I noticed that too this morning. I was going to check on her.

Everyone has their own reasons for deleting posts and even responses.

Sometimes, we tend to write w/o thinking it through and have an after

thought and BAM, it's deleted.

Other times, it's HU administration that deletes posts when inappropriate

language or subject matter is written. Of course, in this case with Butticup

I am hoping she had a change of heart and is staying.

Hope you are doing well tonight xx

[13ga in reply to Agora1]

tx so much Agora!

nice to hear from you, and tx for for thoughts!

though i can understand admin deleting inappropriate subject matter - language should never be censored!!

studies have shown - using foul language relieves more stress, than just say poopy stuff. and let's face it - everyone's heard the bad words! there are probably very few virginal "ears/eyes" here.

if it does someone good to let off that steam w/ bad language - i say let 'em. if they using subject matter that's bad - bigoted, etc... yea then admin delete.....

i'm doin pretty good 2nite... just back from help animals at a rescue (volunteer). that always helps to put me in a better mood!

how bout u? how u doin?

xx

[Agora1 in reply to 13ga]

Just a head's up my friend, don't try the foul language thing, you'll be deleted before you know it. It's one of the rules of the forum, no foul language, no talk about religion or politics. We have 50k plus members all over the world and the forum wants to respect

everyone's beliefs. There's been some talk among members that using bad language can

help relieve stress but then there will always be someone who stretches the limit.

I remember as a kid thinking, "oh boy, I can't wait to grow up, then I can do anything I want" lol Little did we know then, that life comes with rules..

Off that topic, I wanted to say how nice that is that you are a rescue volunteer to help animals. That's wonderful...I can imagine how heartbreaking it must be in doing your job but yet so rewarding at the same time in knowing you saved a pet. Good for you. xx

[13ga in reply to Agora1]

yea - i def. hear ya; and i get it...

but that doesn't mean it's not a stupid rule! ;o)

words are nothing - they are a bunch of letters thrown together. what makes words offensive isn't the words - it's the thought behind the words - AND it's the very thin skin of those that are offended by those words... (hold flames please)

i don't mean to sound cold or insensitive - i really do understand that people are easily offended - and yes life does come with rules - and i DO try to follow those rules out of respect for others..... so the above thoughts are from the dialog in my head - that i don't normally share.

as for help animals - i LOVE animals... and the rescue i volunteer at seems to attract other like-minded, sensitive, loving, caring people - and all of that is SOOO refreshing compared to the last several years ( i just started volunteering a month ago or so).

also - a wonderful thing about animals..... they dont give a rat's rear end about the flapping language i use!!! they just look at me with understanding eye's - as if they're saying - you think we don't get it? we're here because people can suck sometimes!! ;o)

[FearIsALiar in reply to 13ga]

I love animals because they don’t judge me, they are so loving too (well most) lol

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

Animals have feelings too. Using the language can have an effect on them believe it or not. Usuallybwhem a person is using the language their voices change. I know because my dog hates when people swear. Seen other pets get scared when the language is used.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Also i have had my dog at a groomer who i was friends with. I couldn't figure out why my dog was so jittery when I picked her up. I happen to drop in one time before she finished cutting her hair. I listened to how she talked to her and I didn't it and my dog was ready to leave. Never seen her so nervous ever.So I took my dog to another groomer I kind of knew. She was referred by someone I knew. This gal groom's dogs and also trains them. My dog loves going there because the groomer treats her and talked to her the way animals should be. So I gladly pay 35.00 for her than the 14.00 I was paying my friend.

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

omg - heck yea!!!!!

it drives me up a friggin wall - when people that should be nowhere near an animal takes a job working with animals!!!!!

what the heck is wrong with them!?!? if you can't be kind - get another fricking job, where you're unkindness doesn't effect the innocent!!!!

.

you may be paying double - but you're halving your pet's stress - and lengthening their life!! - and that's worth any price.

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

The person that lost the job was also a vet assistant at one time with glowing reveiws.

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

that is some SCARY flippin stuff!

there's alot of those types out there - and no good way to weed them out...

.

i'm scared to leave an animal w/ someone i don't have utmost confidence in....

.

and w/ covid and all now - many vet's aren't letting you stay w/ your pet during exam! curbside only service! that's a scary situation!

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

you're absolutely right, sunlife!!

i've been around animals my whole life; cats, dogs, horses, birds... you name it.

tho - it's not the words - it's the tone....

you can curse a blue storm, but if you do it with a calm, loving tone, animals hear that tone....

tell them their good boy/girl in an angry tone - words are meaningless.

even animals that can/do key on certain words - the tone overrides all else...

.

i used to torment my mom - who absolutely believed her cat understood the entire english language. i would, in the sweetest tone, say "you are the ugliest kitty i've ever seen". the cat would give me the "loving eyes" and come over to me for more "abuse"...

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

My dog is afraid of the curse words. She has heard them and ran back to me. These people always swear in a normal tone but my dog now only has to see them before she runs from them.

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

unfortunately - you've got a smart dog.... smart enough to associate those words with anger, and bad feelings...

.

classic pavlovian response... and you could break that response... but maybe not worth the stress to do it... sad that just the words elicit such a bad response....

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

Why would I break that response? That is what she needs for early detection of danger. I guess my thing is what does swearing really do. Actually the more you swear the worse people get. My friend did a study on it in class. Because people who swear are hiding something and found They have more anxiety of any group. Also found they are more conniving. Had my friend read my neighbor. Neighbor swore up and down and then started in with his lies. Lied about his food was cold at a restaurant when it was steaming. He got a free meal from lying which in turns made it stealing. So it progresses.

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

you're so right about breaking that response.... it's a good early warning...

.

though on swearing - i must disagree... at least in part. i've read scientific studies that have concluded a number of interesting things about people that swear. They typically have larger vocabularies than those that don't. and the use of curse words has been shown to do a better job of releasing anger and frustration, because those words tend to carry more passion.

as for hiding/dishonesty - i think those traits are equally distributed among people that swear and those that don't. i haven't seen any studies that address this point - so i can only offer my opinion on that.

...

i can present myself as a case study tho.... i think if you read my posts, you will [hopefully] see that i try my best, to be open and honest. it might surprise you to know - that i can curse a blue streak that would make almost anyone look in surprise - did he say that? yep - that was me! and when i'm not filtering... and i'm angered... get out the umbrella, cause it's gonna pour cuss !!!

.

back to animals... since my anger and cussing is never directed at my animals - unless they've truly done something bad - they can be laying right in front of me on my desk - and if i get angry and cuss - they might lift their head and look at me - but since they know it's not directed at them - they don't even budge; just set their heads back down, and go back to sleep - probably thinking... " 'eh... dad's venting again... yawn"

[FearIsALiar in reply to Agora1]

I hope buttercup is okay.

[13ga in reply to FearIsALiar]

major dittos on both those!!!!

nother thing bout animals - bluntly honest... gotta love that!

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Sorry, I will be staying. Didn’t mean to upset anyone.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Hugs Butticups xx

[Hidden]

Sorry I deleted it. It was a stupid impulsive moment. It was down to my OCD. I will try not to delete anymore. Glad you found the thread interesting 🙂

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

so does OCD stand for Oneshot Cee Deleted-posts ?

or Once-you Cee-em, [then] Delete-em? ;o) JK!!

seriously; no biggie; i was just curious...

it was a VERY interesting thread!

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

Maybe something triggered Butticups to feel really bad about his/herself even though they didnt need to feel that way. I know when I feel like that I can get really vulnerable and self conscious and feel like whatever I do is wrong. It makes me self critical of myself and want to hide away. For me personally this is where the OCD comes in... I start expecting too much of myself and thinking whatever I say or have said isnt good enough (even though it is). I become a perfectionist and get really paralysed and sad and guilty for things. If Butticups felt anything like this or similar I can understand why he/she would delete their posts in a moment of panic. Im not saying this is the reason but Im just saying I can see how people can do things because of their mental illness/OCD. Butticups obviously has thought it through and feels safer and calmer now otherwise he/she wouldnt be here so it shows Butticups is doing really well and recovering one day at a time even if there might be set backs at times.

Btw Butticups like 13a said it was a great interesting post and we enjoyed it and we love having you here. 🌻🌸💞 We are looking forward to many more posts and if you ever want to delete them then theres no problem. You need to just post at your own pace without putting pressure on yourself. You are safe and we care about you 😊

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

your right CB.

i didn't mean to leave the impression i was making light of OCD, i wasn't.

i've experienced many of the things you mentioned; and i def. feel ya.

while i don't have OCD, i think i have OCPD - at least in part. this is where perfectionism rears its evil head as 1 example.

another thing i tend to do - i deflect certain things toward humor. it's a defensive action on my part; and sometimes the forced attempt at humor falls short....

but i still crack ME up!

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

Its ok I understand. I didnt think you was making light of anything either. You said you was curious so I wanted to explain more and help Butticups to know we want to be there for him/her. Im sure you wanted to do the same too even if you do hide behind humour to do it 🙂

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

tx CB - and again u sooo right.

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

Kind of rude. Why would you say that? My therapist said it's not nice to joke about somebody elses issues. Those are harsh words to the wrong person.

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

Sunlife;

i won't argue that point. and i accept any blame that's due me. the simple answer is - i'm far from perfect, and i've got my issues also.

i learned from the earliest age - that i could use humor to deflect pain, and hurtful truths. so sarcasm and humor was programmed into me by my upbringing and imperfect parenting and family.

it's exceedingly difficult to override, try as i might. when i do a post - i re-read the post literally a dozen times; i know i can be wordy, so i try to pair down my blather; i try to excise sarcasm, and "left-handed" humor.

but there are still obstacles for me. (1) sarcasm and humor are SO ingrained in my survival toolbox - that i can read right over them and miss them no matter how many times i re-read. (2) if i'm passionate about a subject; my proof-reading may also suffer.

so - i do what everyone else here [presumably] does - i try my best - and sometimes i screw up. hopefully the good i do outweighs the bad. i may be biased :-), but i generally think i do more good than bad.

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

PS:

1 more thought - i leave my comments as-is; unless there's a REALLY good reason to edit them.

i don't like the idea of erasing mistakes - mistakes tell us about ourselves far more than do successes.

so i left that reply - because it shows i'm human; shows i accept my mistakes, and am willing to own them. my regrets and apologies then have a point of reference. no point in apologizing for something i edited away... and then i'd have to go find all my references to the missing edit.... i equate this to a form of lying. my posts wouldn't be congruent. maybe lying is the wrong word. hypocritical is probably a better word.

also - someone who reads a post pre-edit; almost certainly won't read it post-edit. and that's a whole nother kind of cluster-cluck... it's just easier to be wholly, bluntly honest, and deal with the blow-back.

[Hidden in reply to 13ga]

There are certain ways to be blunt w/o causing somebody else any more anxiety.

[13ga in reply to Hidden]

i can't argue with that!

tho i didn't think my original 'joke' was insensitive, in retrospect maybe it was... but i still don't think it was anxiety inducing. also, while i don't fall under that specific diagnosis by DSM standards; i do think i fall somewhere within that family. so i when i made that joke, i was making a joke about myself more so than anyone else; and just as it's ok when 1 race makes a joke about their own race - i could argue that's what i was doing.

while i COULD make those arguments - i'm NOT. i'm not trying to defend what i did - only trying to put it into context.

.

humor is a funny thing (no pun intended). whatever form it takes - some people will find something funny, and others won't. not every joke a comedian tells is funny to everyone. but if you leave the show with a smile - you'll remember the good jokes, and forget the bad ones.

i will always use humor - it's permanently built into me. i can only hope that people see the whole me - and not judge me for the few bad jokes i might tell.

as much as i might like to disassociate myself with the human race - the hard cold truth is - i'm only human myself.