Is there such a thing as Jealous Anxiety?

[JP26]

Does anyone suffer with jealous anxious thoughts? I am obsessed with everyone else even complete strangers, I saw a homeless guy in the street earlier and I was thinking ‘I’d give anything to have his mind’ I’m convinced although he is homeless that he’ll be happier and more at peace internally than I am, it makes being around people so difficult as all I keep thinking is ‘why am I not like them’ or ‘why can I not be like everyone else’. It’s doubly hard these days with social media everywhere as it’s impossible not seeing what others are doing/saying constantly, why can’t I just be happy with me and who I am, it’s these anxious thoughts about others which cause me the greatest problems, feels like each day I’m getting worse not better

[FearIsALiar]

Yep! I’m the same way. You’re not alone x

[SunIsShining]

Yup! A lot of anxiety comes from comparing ourselves to others

[bonkers65]

Yes I feel the same way. I'm jealous of my neighbors because they have friends and family come over and they go out on dates and stuff and basically Have A Life. I have no friends or family coming over so I don't really Have A Life. I sit here and read and sleep. Of course I worry what they think about me too. I know I shouldn't care what they think about me but I can't stop myself. And then thinking all these thoughts makes my self-esteem extremely low. I've tried to get out and meet people, but my Social Anxiety makes it hard. But getting back to your post I also get jealous when I'm at the store or something and see all these people laughing and carrying on conversations. Now I know they may be depressed too and are just hiding it but not all of them. I feel like I'm just waiting to die.

[JP26 in reply to bonkers65]

Hi Bonkers thanks for the reply, jealousy on top of anxiety just makes you feel ten times worse I find, even when people say’ it you don’t know what’s going on in the others persons mind’ it still makes no difference I still just think I have it far worse than anyone else and no one understands what it’s like being trapped in this mental torture.

I guess you just have to keep putting yourself out there and meeting people if you can, the anxiety makes that scary but the added jealousy just makes you feel worthless so it’s like a double edged knife

[Otaku12]

I get jealous too when I compare myself to others. Everyone seems to have friends, spouses, are close to their family, enjoy parties, look amazing, go to cool places, and the list goes on and on. However, I've come to realize a lot of that is just my distorted thinking because a lot of people are faking it, especially on social media. That's not to say they aren't happy, but their life isn't nearly as wonderful as my mind makes it out to be. People with gorgeous houses could be drowning in their mortgage payments. People with lots of friends possibly never have enough free time just for themselves. People that look amazing could be spending hours in the gym, paying a ton for makeup, and possibly depriving themselves of delicious food.

Basically, it's that old saying "the grass is always greener on the other side." When I start comparing myself to others, I try and come up with things that I do have and am grateful for. I have a nice home, not glamorous, but I like it. I have one close friend from childhood, we don't see each other much but we text now and then. I have parents who have always been supportive of my mental health. There are plenty of things I'm dissatisfied about in my life, but I just try and focus on what is good in my life, and it doesn't have to be anything big, it can be as small as a good book or a pretty sunset.

I still compare myself to others all the time but I try and catch myself before I go down into a deep, dark spiral of jealousy. If I see someone post a picture of them living their best life on social media, I just tell myself that it probably took them over an hour to get that one picture and they were so focused on getting a good picture they couldn't really enjoy whatever they were doing in that picture. I'm not trying to make their life out to be worse than mine or anything, but I'm trying to just add a dose of reality to my jealous thoughts to shut them down.

[JP26 in reply to Otaku12]

Hi thanks for sharing Otaku, it’s not actually peoples lives so much that makes me jealous it’s their minds, their ability to handle stress and worry and pressure without it causing a huge anxious downward crash like it does with me, it’s the way others can handle life and all of its ups and downs, basically everything they can do that I’m afraid of or struggle if I envy which then makes me feel ten times worse