72 and still searching

[Sweettina]

I am new here, but I'm glad I discovered this site. I am 72 and still battling a life long depression, which has turned out to be the most constant thing in my life. I currently live alone, which makes me sad since all of my friends are still with their spouses. I am involved with a man, but the relationship is going nowhere. I am still working, but I am afraid of losing my job because it involves so much technology. I feel like I'm afraid of everything lately, but mostly I'm afraid of feeling like this for the rest of my life. Many days I think of death as a comforting alternative, but I won't commit suicide because of the damage it would do to my children.

I just want to experience a block of time in which I don't feel depressed, but that hasn't happened yet.

Sweettina

[Marysblue]

Welcome. I know what you mean I had two really good days in a row which is rare for me and now I'm back down ,so disappointing.

I've dealt with depression my whole life too. And also live alone.

[mollykay70]

I wish I had answers for you. I am finding that just saying how I’m feeling “out loud” on this site is helping me.

Things are really scary these days. So that doesn’t help. My mom is about the same age you are and technology is really frustrating for her. It’s constantly changing and so abstract. You are not alone in your fears.

I wonder if your feeling are just that - feelings, not based on facts. Maybe if you write down what you are feeling and then try to think about what someone that knows you what they would say about some of these things. For example, are you maybe doing just fine with the technology but it’s the fear of the unknown?

I might be way off base, but I hope you keep coming here and letting your feelings out.

[Saumya7171]

Hi. I’m too young to understand what it feels like but I have been battling depression since I was 17 and it’s seem like a lifetime of chronic illness. Some days are better than the others and I hope that is what you hold onto too.

The pandemic has left all of us distressed. I can just say, hang in there! You’ll do fine!

Therapy is not a bad option if you’re looking for someone to listen to you. Other than that, I’m here as a listening ear! You can message me.

Lots of love and positive wishes.

[FearIsALiar]

Hey welcome to the group! I hope you can find comfort and support here. Please know you’re not alone and it’s brave of you to reach out to a support group!

[Hidden]

Sweet Tina, Welcome to the mental health website, and welcome to the aging lady club. I am 69 and have had a horrible life. I live alone with my dog, retired, also have a lot of frustration with today's technology. I have no family, and few friends. I have had chronic depression my whole life. I'm not interested in a relationship anymore. Too much frustration for me. It sounds like you also have a family. At least you are open to a relationship, and you work, and have a family, so try to be grateful for that. I tend to think that it's better to live alone than living with someone that you don't get along with. I was married for quite awhile and was very unhappy. It took me 25 years to get rid of him. Those friends of your's that are still married, may be very unhappy, but they stay with them for various reasons, but may not tell you. Don't envy them. They may be putting on a mask. Being in constant motion , as you are, is better for your depression. Being retired is way more lonely. Good luck to you!

[kvolm2016]

Welcome and glad you discovered it too. Betting that you will find encouragement and support here! Despite the depression being life long, it sure sounds like you are managing it well since you are still working and in relationship. There are certainly many who battle depression that cannot sustain either of these. How do you manage your depression? What is effective for you? Are you able to ask for help in learning and gaining the technology skills for work?