I don’t know how to get back to ‘normal’. CW: miscarriage/grief

[Pinkyandthebrain]

Five months ago I got pregnant and I had the happiest two months of my life, followed by a miscarriage. The baby/foetus came out of me intact and I saw it when I was on my own in the hospital toilets.At first I just felt numb, in the hospital I was completely calm and didn’t even say anything to anyone until I was back in my hospital bed when I mentioned it to a nurse.

I’m now three months on from the scan that confirmed my pregnancy had ended and I feel like I’m going insane. Rather than feeling better I feel worse all the time, cannot stop crying (luckily am working from home so there’s no one around to see), I can’t concentrate on anything, I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do my job. I just sit here every day remembering all the blood and tubes that came out of me.

I realise this might not count as a depression post to some but I just felt like I needed to put this somewhere.

I don’t really know who to talk to other than my therapist, I don’t know how to make anyone understand how lost and confused I feel, it’s like I can’t remember how to live anymore.

[HelpingElbow]

Hi

Irrespective of what people say or might say, there's no one in the world who truly understands the grief that comes along with a fetal loss (except for those who have gone through similar trauma).

You don't have to explain and you don't have to convince that you're in pain. Don't stop yourself from crying if you feel like crying.

Please know that this happens to a lot of people and you're not the only one. It takes a lot of time to heal and you can take as much time as you need.

If your therapist is helping you cope with it, kindly continue the process. Please remember that nature wants you to be more physically healthy and stronger than ever before.

Feel free to post here, ping or talk to us, if needed. Take care of yourself.

[Pinkyandthebrain in reply to HelpingElbow]

Thank you for this kind reply, it helps a little just to feel understood. Wishing you the best x

[Hidden]

I am sorry for your loss.