I'm Hurting

[yellowcacti]

My thoughts are bad and frankly I am tired of having to fight them everyday. I am just tired. Once upon a time I got myself to believe that I will eventually learn how to manage what I am going through but I feel defeated yet again. I don't have a lot of hope. I am built this way. I feel broken and messed up. I almost want to say sorry for even breathing. Constantly tearing myself apart from the inside out. I really don't think I was cut out for this.

[Hidden]

I am sorry you are hurting, but don’t lose hope! Have you tried meditation, clearing your mind of negative thoughts, focused on something positive, or breathing exercises, exhaling the negative and inhaling positivity?

[yellowcacti in reply to Hidden]

I find those exercises most useful when I feel anxious. Then again, I shouldn't be practicing them at those times only. It is hard for me to clear my mind so I usually stick to grounding exercises. However, this feeling I am experiencing is so numbing. It feelings like I am carrying a weight that I will never be able to get rid of and that I will always be in this place. Your response reminds me that there are things I can try... so today I will try to focus on being grateful. I will try even though I'm tired.

[Hidden in reply to yellowcacti]

Hey yellowcacti. I hear ya on the being so tired of your thoughts just constantly going and not being able to quiet them down. It's so tough when that happens that you feel like it'll never ever ever end. A friend shared this sentiment with me a few weeks back... "the storm always passes." So to do our thoughts. Granted we might need to work at it, but they do move along eventually.

You mentioned the carrying a weight that you might not be able to get rid of. I'd be happy to help carry that burden with you if you'd like. Feel free to reach out any time. I'm available to listen/chat.

[Hidden]

We will always feel that but we have to find some happiness. We have it. We just need to find it.

[Moosue]

You 'll come through the minds a bully.