How do I face my past and come to terms with it to better my future?

[GebB]

My childhood was difficult, none of my parents was fully there to raise me, my paternal granny did. I grew to resent my parents since they both moved on and started families that they cherished. I was unwanted for was seen as a burden that would destroy their peace. My mum told me her hubby clearly told her during courtship he would not entertain the idea of me in their life. I am still struggling with feelings of being unwanted, unloved,unworthy and made many bad decisions and dated wrong men because of it. I haven't had any healthy relationship. My mum brushed off the idea of going with me to therapy to face my demons, she thinks am just resentful and hold grudges. It's sad that she can't see how damaged I am because of their choices. I have two lovely babies and I want to be a great mum, their father is another wrong choice I made, I know I need to leave him and make a life for my gals but I struggle slot with depression and the fear that they will grow to resent me for not having their father fully present in their life. I have contemplated suicide way too many times. I know I need help but don't know how to get it

[Ivy_chan5]

I am sorry for your situation. I completely understand your situation. I am the only child of my mum and I know that she has struggled a lot to provide me with the best things. I look up to her a lot and I love her a lot. Due to some problems in my family she hates herself for being helpless as she doesn't want me to suffer. I am sure your daughters will think the same and love you... they will never hate you ..they will feel grateful to you for being a supermom and for raising them up.. Lots of love sister ❤

[debindurham]

It is brave to acknowledge how we feel about past events: Angry, hurt, let down. But having done that, we need to shift our perspective, and be present. Those experiences can still teach us something- how we would like things to be, how our opinions are different, the different way that we are going to act.

We can change our focus further and make a choice to look ahead, not backwards. We can not change the past but we are in complete control of what we make our future.

You are a Mam, and you have this lesson to teach your kids.

I find this is what gives me the drive to plod on!

Look forward!